SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I received in the mail what I assume is the final notice from her lawyer, that she's no longer a client and here's her contact info. I guess this is standard. Funny thing is, it confirmes her new address: AP's Affair Den.

Thank god I've known this for months and I felt nothing while reading the confirmation. I see that as a big step. Not even a month ago, something like that might've triggered a little somethin somethin. Someone said a while back how it's funny, you encounter triggers that don't actually trigger you and you're surprised by your emotional response (or lack thereof). She's his problem now is all that this drums up.

I sleep easy with the knowledge that this has got to be doomed. Even if the affair went on for months, she moved in with this guy after half a year tops, in the midst of an affair with him. Oh, middle-aged love and what paths it leads you down haha. If anyone has stories where this happened and failed, please share and help make my day even better.

That is good news about the effect it had on you. It's funny (well, not really funny) that some things you think would trigger you badly you seem to shrug off and other insignificant things hit like a freight train. In time they all diminish.

Congratulations.

I hear you AbandonedGuy,

My wayward SO was living with her AP the day I confronted and left.

This was only after knowing him for 2 months.

As the saying goes, not my circus and not my monkey anymore.

I sleep easy with the knowledge that this has got to be doomed. Even if the affair went on for months, she moved in with this guy after half a year tops, in the midst of an affair with him. Oh, middle-aged love and what paths it leads you down haha. If anyone has stories where this happened and failed, please share and help make my day even better.

You're doing fine moving on but I really wouldn't put any stock into how long this lasts etc because it really does nothing for you as it's hanging onto some last vestige that karma will get them.

They may thrive and live together for years and years or they may crash, not your rodeo. Your life is fully in your hands to influence as you please

To echo what Tren said - ya don’t sit around waiting for karma to appear. My ex wife was staying over at her AP’s house immediately after I filed. I think they moved in together at about the 7-8 month mark. That was about 3 years ago. They just got married last month.

You never know what’s going on behind closed doors. They might be happy as clams right now, they may not be. They might be happy but then once everything wears off - the trouble will begin. Or they may be “happy” but both are cheating on each other. As you said, she’s his problem now so it doesn’t really matter which scenario it is.

The other thing is - people who torch their old life into the ground. Give up so much for a relationship - they’ll do almost anything to make it work. Rational thinking goes out the window with these people. Focus on yourself and keep yourself busy so hardly any of your free time is spent thinking of her or their “relationship”.

[This message edited by ThatGuy728 at 10:52 AM, March 24th (Sunday)]

Of course, you're all right. Her current life shouldn't be of any concern to me. I've got enough going on to distract myself at the moment.

Happened to me as well. According to our daughters, she's been miserable there with him since a few months after

AbandonedGuy, my ex is married to her AP and has been for over two years now. What little I know about their relationship is that things aren't stellar, but getting to the point of not caring anymore has been the most helpful thing for me. Unless it's about our daughter, I have no interaction with her and don't seek out any info about her life.

It took me a while to get to the point of indifference but it's a great place to be. To expend mental/emotional energy on her would be to continue to give her space in my life that she doesn't deserve. I'd rather focus on the things that matter.