I am sorry, I am not familiar with POLF. I suppose your autocorrect could have changed PTSD to that?
I don't know if my H had PTSD. He never saw anyone other than our marriage counselor. However, I do believe he was traumatized, experienced depression and triggers, and some of the things you are asking about.
I hate to generalize but I think because my spouse is male there could be some differences in the way he exhibits and processes things. I think females (generally though not always) really try and verbalize their feelings as part of processing them. Though I do think females can sometimes hold back their feelings, they still sometimes work in a different way to understand them. In my situation, I had to watch him closely because he would not really want to connect with what he was feeling, so he would ignore it, or just chalk it up to a bad day. I use the generalization because boys grow up learning to be stoic and hiding their feelings. I don't think they get as practiced with processing and discussing, especially in the days my husband would have been a boy.
Also, in our household, he doesn't do the holiday trimming type stuff, that's just never fallen under his role. Last Christmas we were only a few months out. The hardest thing he said was putting on a happy face when the kids all came home. I took care of the details of the holiday. Can your husband do that instead of you? Or if you don't have children, do you need to go through the rigors?
I can say that for the first six months or so he had trouble with managing his work, and was sluggish on the weekends. I sometimes could get him to go out to have a walk or run with me (this practice increased over time), or to ride a long to do errands. I found that he was better when he was in my presence, so I tried to spend as much time as possible together when I wasn't working. I brought up the affair often and checked in with him a lot. Though, I did not do that early on - the first 6 months were rough in our household.
Early on I was so caught up in my shame I thought by not talking about it, it wasn't bringing it all up for him. I learned through this site that wasn't at all true, that it was always on his mind and me bringing it up was a relief to him.
Mostly I just tried to keep in mind that I had done all of it and I needed to try and do the best I could for him every day. I know in hindsight I failed some, and then in other ways I can see that once I had overcome my fears about brining up the affair, or sitting and just letting him talk and ask questions that things were easier for him. Not easy, but better.
Honestly, I think that while I did those things for his support, I think that he detached from me for some time. He envisioned his life without me. He made some plans on what that would look like and how that would work. He told me that he was going to be happy no matter the outcome. In other words, I had a part in showing him I was remorseful, that I wanted him, that I was taking care of my side of the street...but he did a lot too in getting to a better place. Detaching and having that back up plan provided him confidence and security. He kind of watched from a long way off from me on what I was doing, he was protecting himself as he should have been. When he finally came to terms that he could divorce me and be fine, that's when I saw him circle back and say that he didn't want that as long as I proved myself and kept proving myself for the rest of our lives.
I am not sure if that helped or not, but I think it took him finding ways to manage things along with me really showing my love, concern, and support towards him. And, showing him I was going to work on myself and make changes. That is still where we sit today 15 months past dday.