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Divorce/Separation :
Braces

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solstice21 ( member #34379) posted at 3:35 AM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2019

I was sole provider during marriage; xw refused to work.

I took my kids to ortho soon after I filed for D and made request that funds be set aside for ortho upon sale of home. D process took two years and xw knew that I was struggling to make child support and alimony while she moved in with AP. She tried to force me to pay for ortho before sale of home. Judge noted that ortho (in my case) was not a medical necessity and could not force me to pay if I did not have the funds.

As soon as home sold, my dd16 and ds15 had their braces installed.

You have ortho included in your decree; good foresight on your behalf. You can offer to cover cost of one child and he the second child so that ortho collects from each of you separately. Follow Catwoman’s advice......her guidance was always spot on.

[This message edited by solstice21 at 9:39 PM, March 4th (Monday)]

posts: 244   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2012
id 8339433
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HappyTree ( member #56916) posted at 7:34 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2019

I'm going through this same thing right now. My son needs to start next month and my daughter will start in the fall. If we do not start my son now, he will have to go through the same awful surgery that I went though as a teen. So, while its not medically necessary now, that surgery may end up being and that would be WAY more expensive (it includes a night in the hospital, TONS of medical appointments, teeth being wired shut and throwing up blood for 24 hours). We were just quoted $5,000 for both for right now.

I sent my ex an email last week detailing everything. I asked him to drive my son to at least 1 appointment (so he can be involved as well). I'm not sure if he will actually take him. As in terms of paying for it, I'm hoping that I can pay my share up front, then have them bill my ex for the rest.

Married 11 years
D-Day in October 2016
2 kids- 10 and 8

posts: 400   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2017   ·   location: Caribou, ME
id 8339790
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josiep ( member #58593) posted at 8:57 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2019

Are you in contact with his parents? Maybe you could ask them to help pay for it until he has enough money to pay them back?

They can pay it directly to the orthodontist so they know you're not using the $$ to throw wild parties.

BW, was 67; now 74; M 45 yrs., T 49 yrs.DDay#1, 1982; DDay#2, May, 2017. D July, 2017

posts: 3247   ·   registered: May. 5th, 2017
id 8339834
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HappyTree ( member #56916) posted at 4:02 PM on Friday, March 8th, 2019

I just needed to vent today and this was the perfect post for me to vent on.

A few posts earlier, I mention that my kids need braces, here is my update.

After getting all the information, I do what I have done the last 2 years and I send dad a very involved email about what the plan is. I send dad all the information from the office. Now dad wants to seek "legal council" because he feels that I am making these decisions without him. In the email, he looks like a dad who just wants to be involved with his kids. But this is a dad who never gets back to me, didn't care when his daughter had surgery, or his son had an IEP meeting, or really anything else. But now that there is a price involved, he is going to freak out. Like, does he want a kid with messed up teeth? Honestly, when it comes to medical stuff, I just trust the doctors and move on from there.

Why do our exes have to make things so difficult?

Married 11 years
D-Day in October 2016
2 kids- 10 and 8

posts: 400   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2017   ·   location: Caribou, ME
id 8341307
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 Gablestitch (original poster member #60148) posted at 9:44 PM on Friday, March 8th, 2019

Happytree I completely understand. STBXWH is perfectly happy with me scheduling and running kids to all medical and dental things. But the moment he knew it would cost him money, he exploded.

Me: BW Him: WH

Dday sometime August 2017 after returning to work from maternity leave with third kid.
Separated shortly after.
Divorced 2021 after he ignored every court date and document sent to him.

posts: 213   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2017
id 8341514
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