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Great update director23, wishing you all the best.

You're wise not to jump into a rebound this early. You definitely don't need to go through that right now.

How long until the XW starts to resent the new baby b/c if she wants to “reconcile” and can it have her own way, I hope and pray the new baby doesn’t pay for it down the road.

Her drama made her sound a bit unhinged at times. I hope she’s past it.

Good to hear D, keep us posted with your new life and adventures!

but I personally really want to just get comfortable with my new living situation and schedule before doing anything crazy.

I think once you are truly settled into your new beginning and doing the things you've always wanted to do that make you happy and truly enjoy life is the time when someone new will cross your path and accept the real you and want to be a part of your life.

Definitely go your own pace. Its going to turn out better than you thought.

Thanks for the update, director. Sounds like you're moving along nicely. Sounds good about your son settling in and sleeping well.

Need some opinions/input.

This week my mom gives me a call and informs me that a friend of hers that has acquaintances to those that live in the same town that I do were having a conversation and my situation was brought up by another couple.

It was stated that it was unfortunate that quote, "the divorce occurred because he (being me) has genetic deficiencies that my exww did not want to pass on, so the marriage ended because of those issues surrounding that situation."

My mom's friend, knowing the truth, gaffed right then and there explained the truth, to which this other couple simply couldn't believe as they had heard the incorrect reason from multiple people.

So I'm pissed, and basically want to go full fledged and expose the truth publicly on social media as well as address this rumor. I'd keep it short and to the point but man; this caught me off guard as the past month has been great since moving into my own place and really starting to figure things out going forward.

Sir, counterattack and do so immediately or these slanderous lies will become commonly accepted as the true narrative. The source(s) of the lies, while probably predictable, aren't relevant to the actions you must now take. Be ruthless, and act without remorse.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:24 AM, October 10th (Thursday)]

I'd also suggest countering quickly with facts.

There's a book called "Spin Selling" and it sounds like she's following the idea of spinning a story for how she winds up with an illegitimate child and divorced. I'm guessing her parents are also in on the spin sell.

I would start with a social media invite that it has come to your attention through multiple sources that your ex-wife has diagnosed you with genetic deficiencies as her reason for seeking out another man. That any so-called friends repeating the rumor will demonstrate unworthiness to be considered friend, and that you appreciate those who care enough about you and your reputation to let you know who is repeating the poisonous lies. Divorce is ugly enough without infidelity and lies to cover that infidelity. You expect friends to know you well enough to at least seek you out for verification and NEVER repeat poison. Gossip is a behavior unbecoming of worthy friends.

Her deviousness is remarkable. What better way to put young ladies intent on starting a family off of you as a potential mate? What a POS she is.

To paraphrase the line from Aliens: nuke her from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure everyone understands the truth.

I agree with LtCdrLost, Counterattack ASAP and do it very aggressively. Preserve your name and reputation.

Best,

Bigheart

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[This message edited by HalfTime2017 at 2:02 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]

Have you thought about a lawsuit? She is being slanderous and should be subjected to questioning her intent?

In my state, that could also be considered harrassment, and if you can get her, you'll be able to have primary custody of your son. Think, no support!!!

I'd talk to an attorney, the people spreading these rumors will definitely think twice before opening their mouth. The truth will get out. It shows you mean business. If you spout off on social media, that can have some negative affects.

You should have expected this. Your xmil was against you, your X fil didn't do anything except take a giant step backwards and your Xw already showed you who she is.

I would not broadcast on social media. That's Jerry Springerish and would just make you look low class.

I would make targeted calls to friends family that are meaningful to you and fill them in. The word will spread soon enough.

And I might add cut all the contact you can except email or text, child only to the X and you don't need any contact with her family. Your what you thought was good guy Xfil isn't so much.

[This message edited by Marz at 2:18 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]

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[This message edited by HalfTime2017 at 2:03 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]

Director, you and other BS have been warned to expose the truth. YOu know the WW and the clan were going to spin things, and I wouldn't put it pass your mother in law to do this as well since she was very much about you forgiving your WW and just moving on.

I'm not a fan of social media, and putting things out that way. Its important to get to the source of the lies, but Im sure its not going to be difficult to find the culprit in this case. I personally wouldn't blast the ex on any social media platform, it could come back to haunt you. If you were to write about it from how things affected you and hurt you, it might be okay, if you stayed away from blasting her. I don't know, I'd still lean towards not going that route.

It was stated that it was unfortunate that quote, "the divorce occurred because he (being me) has genetic deficiencies that my exww did not want to pass on, so the marriage ended because of those issues surrounding that situation."

I can't believe ANYONE would believe her story...I guess because she was pregnant with another mans baby while being married to you. So she spun this as...she got pregnant with OM's baby and tried to pass it off as yours but did it so that the child would not have your genetic deficiencies?

The timing of the divorce and the pregnancy and the fact that the child is not yours should have made it very clear why you divorced. Very surprised ANYONE believes her story.

Another reason why FULL EXPOSURE with ALL family and close friends is advised, if not upfront, at least right after D. At this point I would go nuclear and like someone else said "counterattack" FULL force, even on social media, it's the way many people communicate and get their news, it would include something like what k8la said:

it has come to your attention through multiple sources that your ex-wife has diagnosed you with genetic deficiencies as her reason for seeking out another man. That any so-called friends repeating the rumor will demonstrate unworthiness to be considered friend, and that you appreciate those who care enough about you and your reputation to let you know who is repeating the poisonous lies.

Plus I would add: "Finally to make it crystal clear, the reason I DECIDED to end the M despite multiple pleads and begging to reconsider by WW and in-laws, was simply because WW cheated on me and had been doing it for quite sometime and got pregnant by OM, period. Make no mistake about it, this M ended because of my WW's adultery which resulted in an OC.

I would put it ALL on blast including social media, but that is me. Shut her narrative completely down, that's for her to own. What a coward!

How are people hearing this story about you not being skeptical? Your wife and you already have 2 children, assuming people did not know of the affair, so isn't too late now to be worried about passing on your genetic defect? And if that was the concern, why divorce? There are many ways to not get pregnant.

Before you blow this up to the world, sit her down along with her parents. Tell them what you've told us and tell them that they should be doing everything to correct this and to ensure that it does not happen again. You don't want to, but if you have to in order to protect your reputation, you will tell the truth to everyone.