I didn’t realize they were signs at the time. It’s crystal clear looking back.
Always suspicious of me.
Always questioning my whereabouts.
Super suspicious of me and my phone. Always wanted to know who I was texting, and what it was about. I caught her multiple times going through my phone or tablet when I’d come in from working outside. Several mornings I could see she’d gone through them in the middle of the night. It drove me nuts. If I complained, she’d get mean and ask me why it bothered me if I had nothing to hide. I didn’t, but also didn’t enjoy constant audits of my devices. I’d done nothing to deserve it.
She always said she skipped lunch, and barely ate anything for dinner, yet gained significant weight.
She would rarely answer when I called her cell phone. She’d eventually call back, saying either she didn’t hear the phone, or was talking to her mother, or her battery was dead. Seemed to always be having “phone issues”, yet would balk when I suggested she get a new one.
She’d go out of town for work a week at a time, probably four times a year. In the beginning, she’d want to talk to me for a long time on the phone at night. She’d get upset if I was tired or busy with the kids and didn’t talk as long.
At some point, it stopped bothering her. She’d call, we’d talk for a few minutes, then she’d be the first to say she was tired and going to sleep. At the time, I thought she just matured a little, and wasn’t as needy when she was gone.
Overall, she was just really hard to get hold of. I’d call, she wouldn’t answer, then she’d call back. (Bluetooth wasn’t as available in vehicles at the time, so it was reasonable to think she didn’t grab the phone fast enough while driving.)
One day, my daughter’s phone was stolen. I wanted to log into the account to see if it had been used. I didn’t know the password, since I was on a separate account.
I asked her for it, and I could see something in her eyes. She told me she didn’t remember the password. The password to an account she logged into every month to pay the bill. Alarms went off like crazy for me.
The next day, I figured ithe password out. Went through all of the bills, saw one number that took up 90% of her minutes. Checked her phone when she was in the shower. The number wasn’t saved, and showed almost no history. I used google and found out it was her male coworker. The one who only came up in conversation when she would say how much she hated this one asshole at work.
All those times she didn’t answer and called back? She was on the phone with him.
All those nights she was out of town, and was getting off the phone to go to sleep? She’d call him as soon as we hung up, and talk until after midnight.
The no lunches, but weight gain? Eventually found out she was going to lunch with him every single f-ing day. That fat bastard liked to eat bad food, and she joined him every day. (Strange how she lost a lot of weight after I found all this out, right?)
