SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So... I was listening to this show where a woman just gave birth to an OC who was conceived with her sister's husband. To make matters worse, the infidelity happened when the couple's teenage child had been kidnapped.

Yet the show did this romantic scene between the WH and the AP in the hospital, where the WH says something like "I will leave you alone if you tell me that night didn't mean something to you" and she literally responds with "my head tells me that this is wrong, on the other hand how can it be wrong when I feel this way when I'm with you?", and then accepts moving in with guy.

Do you think that people in general buy the love story stuff that these shows sell? Do people think that these feelings are anything other than attraction and selfishness? How did you feel about this prior to infidelity, as opposed to after infidelity?

Prior to her affair, an infidelity narrative was just another type of plot from Ye Olde List of Plot Points, but immediately after, it grossed me out. Big time. We were in the middle of watching The Sopranos for the first time, which is all-affair, all-the-time, so I couldn't finish it for several months.

Now I'm not so affected by it, but I do identify it as being gross still. For instance, my mom's watching some Lifetime movie when I visited her and this bland guy's dating some very fake looking woman and this "plain" looking woman (the most attractive one in the movie but, alas, she had glasses and a ponytail, oh the humanity...) is pining for him. And I pointed out to my mom that she's a homewrecker, I don't care how happy Blandy McBlanderson is with his Uncanny Valley Bimbo girlfriend.

I picked the Sopranos back up and at the end of the season I left off on, they separate. They have a very big argument, and it's about his cheating all the time. Then they have a super realistic airing of grievances. It didn't trigger anything really but goddamn did I appreciate the weight of those scenes. Surprisingly, what does trigger me a bit is acts of love between characters. Touchy feely stuff. Two people head over heels. My heart warms during those moments. I guess I'm not totally dead inside.

It makes me mad to see those types of plots. Then again, my attitude towards the world today is very tainted.

I can't watch any shows affair related. They really piss me off. They somehow romanticize the whole thing.

I was a huge Soprano fan, but I couldn't stand to watch Tony with his goomah now that's for sure!

I don’t watch TV anymore. Netflix all the way!

I thought marvelous Mrs Maisel did it pretty well. I couldn't watch it for a long time because of the infidelity, and spoiler alert, I still have moments where I scream at the TV, why??? Noooo!!

But I thought it didn't romanticize it and made it more realistic overall.

My husband isn’t affected by scenes like this anymore. In the days and weeks after dday he would not be able to watch scenes like this. Now he only changes the channel if I am in earshot. Right now they don’t bother me as much. I stopped watching a soap opera I had watched for 30 years at dday and haven’t gone back. Too much infidelity.

Do you think that people in general buy the love story stuff that these shows sell?

Waywards don't just buy it, they live it. It is the basis for their rationalizations:

..."my head tells me that this is wrong, on the other hand how can it be wrong when I feel this way when I'm with you?"...

Good grief... . Straight from cheaters handbook.

We will not watch them if we know ahead of time. Otherwise, I usually lose interest in the entire movie.

Watch Happy Valley, second season. There is WH that is such a loser it makes me Lol! His wife who is also wayward doesn’t look glamorous either. The other woman is kinda pretty, and skinny is also portrayed as a Desperado. The only infidelity scene , I’ve watched that shows the s**t storm that comes along with affairs. I

I've always felt that there are women, (and men, I suppose) that get so tied up in soap operas that they seem to feel that their life isn't fulfilled unless they have major conflicts like this in their life. They think it's normal and acceptable.

I think for Most BSs it’s an evolution:

PreA: was just another plot line

Post Dday: trigger madness and either avoid any and all or change the channel.

For me now? Very rarely do I change the channel and I don’t trigger, it might remind me. These days the WW is the one asking for the channel to change. I typically laugh at the comical nature of infidelities stupidness and will comment accordingly to the TV. Like “dumbass, he’s playing you don’t you see that. Lol

I was able to watch TV drama from the start. It very rarely triggers me. My W has had to leave the room time and time again. Even now, I watch the Sopranos; she won't.

Most of TV's handling of infidelity is so unreal that it almost never bothers me. The lousy writing and/or acting and/or directing bothers me, but the sitch on the screen generally doesn't.

Here's what I want to vent about:

But I was triggered a few days ago by the section in The Good Earth in which Wang Lung, the main character, takes a concubine, which he would have been unable to do without decades of help from his first wife.

Come to think of it, Wang Lung and Tony are similar - very good at making money, but very simple in their outlooks. Tony is a bit more (or less?) evolved - he can go for stress relief; Wang Lung has to keep it all inside.

I general rage and sit it off..before it didn’t bother me much but still didn’t really like it..now it just pisses me off how they make it like it’s normal and romantic..it has no place in my house but then again never really did.

VENT!

I think it is necessary to pay attention to what kind of shows your partner likes. Before we were married, my wife's favorite movie was the Thorn Birds. It was always weird to me. After we were married, she just loved the movie Unfaithful. I thought she was just a fan of some of the actors.

PAY ATTENTION!

TV shows

This an on going thing since the beginning of time

Novels,story,songs etc glamourizing affairs and making something magical

And not only that

THEY DON'T LEAVE THE BS ALONE

The BS is always painted in the worse light

Abusive , ugly , bitch

He is the standing in the way of true luv

I think it is necessary to pay attention to what kind of shows your partner likes.

Mine has been into the Cold Case files how you kill your spouse and get away with it.

I suppose I should be worried.

Yeah TV shows don't really trigger me anymore, but then again I choose to not watch shows of that nature anyway so it doesn't happen often.

My W on the odd day will have to leave the room even if one spouse flirts with someone who isn't their spouse. It really gets to her. She can't really judge them can she ? She can't see it and get a reaction.

She doesn't like remembering it and it helps me believe that she retains no good memories from that time in her life.

It is sadder to me that people watch TV shows, movies and/or books and think it is a true representation of "real life."

We don't have TV. And I'm very picky about what we do watch via DVD or Blu-ray. Even some of the kids animated movies gets to me. The Incredibles for example. Cloudy with a chance of meatballs (has name of one ap).

I avoid all shows with infidelity in it. I wanted to see the movie the horse whisperer. Ya had barely anything to do with the damn horse, just a stupid affair love story that wasn't love.

2 things - TV shows (seemingly no matter WHAT we watch) and country music. WW is a big country music fan and holy cow do they ever glorify cheating. It's always so romantic or so hard not to run out the door when the phone rings in the middle of the night blah blah blah ...

It literally seems like EVERY tv show whether it's Family Guy or a kids' show SOMEBODY is having an affair. Hell, Lois Griffin apparently sleeps with EVERYBODY !

We were literally watching reruns of Roseanne yesterday and Dan's affair go outed and I just sat there blank faced...