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My WW left me for her ex, and long story short, she cheated on me. As is the case with pretty much all of us here in one way or another.

It really has been bugging me this week that my WW won’t admit that she cheated. In her mind she did not cheat ebcause she said she wanted a separation, and then on that day moved in and slept with the AP.

How do you, thiose whose WS’s won’t admit it, feel about them not admitting that they cheated? Does it matter to you?

My Xhole to this day still denies cheating. It doesn't matter what comes out his mouth, not then, not now, because I knew the truth. I've never needed the validation of him admitting anything. Just because he says it doesn't make his lies true.

If your cheater were to come in and say the sky was pink, would you really need for her to admit she was lying. Isn't the power of your own conviction enough? If not, why?

You are wasting your time here.

No kids = real easy no contact.

Don't linger on this. It's not worth your time.

XWH insisted he wasn’t cheating, he was just trying to save our M!

How do you, thiose whose WS’s won’t admit it, feel about them not admitting that they cheated? Does it matter to you?

It is continued wayward behavior straight from the cheaters handbook.

Please note that I am posting from my personal experience.

I really do not care what an adulterer will or will not admit to. They lack the character (unless they change and restore themselves) to tell the truth. My personal experience has been that of the several wayward individuals I have encountered in real life, only 3 have done the work and healed themselves.

Cognitive dissonance takes over the wayward individual's reasoning ability. Very few can acknowledge they are adulterers. It is very difficult to go toward the pain and address who they are and what they have done and embrace the healing aspects of transformation.

In your situation, you know she is an adulteress and your opinion is the only one that matters.

She had not started the divorce process or signed a divorce decree.

Her logic and reasoning are asinine. Do not waste time on such idiocy. Work on detaching and get her out of your life. The more you interact with her, the more you will have to deal with the stupid and bizarre things that wayward's say.

Believe nothing she says and only about 50% of what you see.

Use your energy and brain function to focus on your healing.

[This message edited by Ripped62 at 8:07 AM, March 14th (Thursday)]

7 years later, still doesn’t admit it. He left us, she left her H, they got married and still he tell our kids they didn’t cheat.

It hurt my brain at first , trying to figure out how to get thru to him. Then I realized they are not living an authentic life, and they are not living in reality. We will never be able to understand this because our thought processes are normal....

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 2:36 AM, March 14th (Thursday)]

My H had a 4 year EA - refused to admit it. Never would. Stonewalled. Denied. Completely rug swept.

15 years later he has another affair. This started as an EA and then he decided he wants a Divorce.

He thought he got away with it all. Except OW2 told me he admitted that he knew the first EA was wrong the whole time but he just wasn’t “going to allow me to tell him who he could be friends with”.

IMO - if the cheater cannot admit the Affair then there are more serious issues AND they will do it again b/c in their own mind (to justify their poor choices) they did nothing wrong.

How do you, thiose whose WS’s won’t admit it, feel about them not admitting that they cheated? Does it matter to you?

My ex will lie to his grave even with proof in hand.

I am almost 10 years out from the D and still discovering As he had!

It doesn't matter. I know enough of the truth (because I am sure there is MORE) to know I made the right decision and selected the right path.

That is what is important.

Your WW can try to self-justify all she wants to make herself ok with her decisions. That is on her.

Your healing will NOT come from her. That all happens in you so do not spend the mental energy on whatever she is or isn't doing.

Better times are coming - hang on.

If you know they cheated that's all that matters. These WS's are so fucking delusional they make me sick

NO SOLICITING

[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:42 AM, March 16th (Saturday)]

Does it matter to you?

It matters if you let it matter to you. Are you going to go to your grave thinking about this? If you do it will have power over you the rest of your life. We all know it sucks and how painful it was, however it's also our choice whether we continue to live with it and ruminate about it or move on and start living for today and our future.