Whoo... I'm jumping into this late in the game, but I think this has been a generally productive conversation - even if it's a bit off topic.
Being reliable, contributing to the relationship and household and being a generally considerate human being are not turn-ons. They are just acting like minimally decent human being. It's like not having spelling errors in your resume. They are minimal requirements for me to consider whether I find you attractive. If you act like an ass, don't think you have to parent, think someone else should clean up after you (with the caveat that I don't have a problem with people who hire some chores out), then it's an instant turn OFF, but being a decent person isn't an instant turn on.
For me, this is absolutely the starting point, the price of admission if you will. To be blunt, I'm a f*cking catch. I'm smart, funny, sexy, kind, affectionate, a high-earner, a good cook, a wonderful parent, and yes, reliable. I know it. My husband knows it. It's what makes me a good partner. My husband is all of these things too (well, not a good cook but he has other marketable skills 
). I expect nothing less. That's not to say I value all of those things equally at all times, but they are all important to me. I would never have chosen my husband for just one of those things.
Nothing like being ignored, not called or texted, all day and then being groped at 8pm, then called a bitch because you don’t get immediately turned on by this manly man.
Yup. SUCH a turn-off. During the only (relatively brief) seasons of my life where my drive was low, this was my perception of the dynamic. To be clear, WS never called me names (haha, he wouldn't dare), but he did pout or retreat when I wasn't hot-to-trot immediately. The pouting was SUCH a turnoff and undoubtedly exacerbated the problem. It's certainly not the general/current dynamic in my relationship (thank god), but sometimes when I read here about relationships where this seems to be an issue, I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with it. I'm not talking about the relationships where this is has *always* been the problem, but I do believe that drive isn't always a static thing.
Don't expect your partner to know. And, definitely foreplay starts in the morning and continues through the day. I think both sexes can appreciate that - anticipation is always a big key I think.
So much this. In most cases though, it seems to me that EFFORT is the thing that is the turn-on. Yes, that can be turning the coffee maker on, but it can also be a deep kiss and a squeeze on the way out the door in the morning, a naughty text over lunchtime (both create anticipation!). Yeah, the AP might not have taken the trash out, but (s)he did put effort into making WS feel appreciated/desired, which for me, is definitely a necessary precursor to the....other stuff. 
By "choreplay" I do not mean that if I vacuum I am entitled to a token redeemable for a blowjob at the time and place of my choice.
What I mean is this: let's say there's five hours of household chores to be done tonight. My wife and I are generally in bed by 11:00. If we get home at 6, and I leave her to do five hours of chores while I surf the internet and watch baseball, she's doing chores until 11:00. Not a scenario that is likely to lead to intimacy of any kind on that night.
On the other hand, if I pitch in and do half the chores, then at 8:30 the chores are done. She feels valued as a partner because no task was beneath me and I didn't expect anything of her I wasn't prepared to do, too. We can sit down and talk, have some drinks on our screen porch, reflect on the day and connect for a while.
If the mood strikes us both, we can have sex and be asleep by 11:00.
That's what I meant by "choreplay."
Domestic Tourist totally gets it. This is partnership, and at least for my H would very like lead to ... other stuff. "Let's bang out these chores so we can sit and have a glass of wine, (and then maybe we can go upstairs and bang it out too)!"
