Look for Les Carter's online videos on Narcissism. You will understand so much. Yes, when they are choosing to be good, it's fantastic. What about when they aren't trying? It's suffering that no person should put on another. You try and try because you know that inside, they are in pain.
That's the truth. They are in pain under the mask. That pain will lash out and attack you from out of the blue. N wants control above all. They wear the mask to control what others see. You feel magnetically drawn. Like you're the perfect fit. That's the awful part. We love them, want to help them, feel so at peace when it's good. Then it's great, it's euphoric.
That little bit of great comes at a terrible price. Every year you stay, your self esteem wears away. Why do they treat others so well? Why so warm and lovey out in the world and so beastly at home? Why can't they see my pain? Why don't they try? Why why why why............
N usually gets worse over time not better.
They might have a fantastic week or two. Job promotion, vacation, bought something they always wanted. Then it's back to silence, neglect, moodiness for no reason. I'm sad for them, their happiness is like a fix. They run after it but it never seems to satisfy. They can't rest and be peaceful. Everyone is always lesser, everyone's a dumb@$$. The N is never satisfied except in their pleasure of control and getting. Giving isn't their thing unless it's impressing someone, getting praise or admiration.
How to heal them, I don't know. They have to want it but so many will never admit they are even n N in the first place. Counselors are all quacks anyway don't you know? Why didn't you know that? Only the N knows everything. The N is always right trying to convince you you're seeing it wrong.
The N is great at love bombing. It feels like pure euphoria. They can also be super impressive mentally. They project a sparkly fun to be with winning exterior. That's the person who would be great to spend all my time with. They make me feel so good. Until it's not good. You are in it and wonder why you feel so sad every day. Nothing you do is right and you try and try and try.
Please bring your sunshine back I'm fading away.
That sunshine feels so good. You can make your own. You have to. You can't rely on them although it feels wonderful to be given to that way. You can find peace in yourself. You must. you must.
Until you understand this, you will not live in the happiness for which you were intended. I dated two Ns. And worked for one. They are fascinating but so destructive. Ns are out there hunting for empaths and givers and healers. We think we are the one they were waiting for. We are disposable to them. They feel irreplaceable to us but we were groomed to believe it. We wanted to believe it.
Start to look for ways to be happy in your life. Spend more time away from your N and feel peace. Don't you wonder why you don't often feel peace with your N? It's wondering and anxiety and questioning yourself and why they act as they do.
Sure there's moments of delicious bliss but at the expense of most of your life.
Get your money together. Don't spend it on a detective. You're saving it for the life that gives youpeace and tranquility. Once you choose you see what he does. Is he happy for you and supportive? I bet not. I bet he reacts to get you back in control. That's not love.
That's not love
That's not love
That's not love
That's not healthy
That's not healthy
That's not healthy
I want love
I want love
I want healing
I want healing
I want to be valued for my true self and share what I have with those who have a spirit of gratitude and giving back. I want a life of peace and joy. I want stress out of my body so it can operate beautifully and not wear away my organs and peace of mind. I want the life I was meant to have. I have the right to not let others abuse me.
Keep reading, keep watching information and understanding videos.
Above all, know who you are and pursue your happiness. Put your energy and resources there. Take care of your body and exercise to process the stress out. Find people to encourage you on your path to you. I always add spend time in nature. I think nature and sleep are the best healers.