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AP was my former friend. Thought of him like a brother before this. When the A was exposed he came over to talk to me but kept his wife between me and him for the 10 seconds he had before I started toward him and they both scrambled out the door.

There are all kinds of people in the world and so I would not be one to say what the chances are that an AP would reach out to the BS. It could happen and I guess I have a couple of experiences that could come close to that.

First of all, NOT the one that was involved with my current H. I don't think she had any conscience or anything like that.

One woman my XH was cheating with had been told we were divorced. When things started not adding up (which I think happens with most who get that lie from a married man unless they are really stupid) she actually called me and asked me. Then she said she had no idea he was married, apologized, said she would never...blah blah blah. I give her a little credit for that. Except she dropped her drawers again for him after that call!

And then there was the final OW from my first M. He ended up marrying her and was married to considerably longer than we were married, but a couple of years ago he left her for another.

She actually apologized to me once she got to feel what it was like to be the BS. I did not want to pour salt in her wounds by telling her no apology needed as she did me a huge favor, since that was really the deal breaker that set me free, so I accepted it as gracefully as I could.

But that was 25 years later, so does that count as reaching out?

@ bobbi, I would have taken great satisfaction in that situation. Karma at it's finest.

My exWW married her AP, so he's still around. He did try to approach me once not too long after DDay. I told him to get out of my sight or there would be violence. Wisely, he scurried back into the house.

Since then, we've come to an understanding. On the rare occasions when we're in the same place at the same time, he's to steer clear of me. He's also well aware that if my daughter asks him why the two of us don't talk and aren't friends, that he's to say that I have my reasons and he understands them. If he ever tries to manipulate her, we're going to have a very big problem.

After I informed the OBS, the POS AP texted me. He asked me if I'd lost my mind, said I had hurt his family because I couldn't take care of mine, how dare me call his wife with that bull, etc. etc. His last line was that I was going to hear from his lawyer. I told him if he was a man verses the POS little boy I said he was, he could meet me, anywhere, any time and we could hash it out like men...crickets. I really don't want to go to jail so I've promised myself I won't go looking for him but if I ever randomly run into him, all bets are off and somebody should set up a gofundme account to pay my bail!

Yes the AP contacted me on Christmas Eve. Got my number from her Hs phone as I never had and never did contact her or respond. She sent me text messages after reading my one message to her H that I hoped he was doing okay in light of the bombshell of info I told him when i outed my WH and her affair the month previously.

There is a multi page thread about it somewhere as her comments were so pathetic they were almost comical. She basically said everything I told him he already knew (lie he knew of one sole incident over the course of 18 months of an affair). Told me she was “sick of MY meddling in her life” and that I should think more about their child (he was 2 at the time) and how my contacting her H would affect her child’s Christmas. She then invited me to “say whatever I wanted to say” as she was sick of dealing with me (I spoken to her husband multiple times over the course of a single day and never again) or something like that. I can’t remember it word for word anymore. She then proceeded to send my WH a bunch of messages from a new unblocked number saying “I was a problem” and that she was sorry for ruining HIS Christmas and that she loved him.

So no, not exactly anything nearing remorse. She didn’t realize I wasn’t even home when she sent the messages as my WH and I were not trying to R.

I used to be an advocate for NC...but after 5 months of the adultery co-conspirator trying to contact my H at HER whim every 2-3 weeks...I finally had ENOUGH!!!

I sent her a barrage of emails. I showed her that TWO could play at this harassing game and I...WOULD...WIN! It felt GOOD to be able to get in a few digs on her. They were all the truth...but letting her know how UNspecial she really was...was cathartic to me.

She finally answered one of my emails...and apologized "if she hurt me" . She then went on to LIE to me...telling me how she was lying in bed next to my H when he would do his nightly calls to me. I guess she figured there would be no way I could know for SURE...and she wanted to hurt me like my emails hurt her.

What she DIDN'T know...was that my H would call me from the restaurants when he was eating...to get his nightly calls with me over with...so that when he finished with eating and calling me...he was free to do whatever he wanted with her later. I had spent time with him in her country before being called back to the United States for a family emergency. At the time...I thought it was a sweet gesture...because I had become friends with the waitresses at the restaurant...so I would talk with them also while my H was eating.

She also didn't know that I knew this was a HUGE problem for her. On their second meeting at my H's hotel...he told her she could spend the night...but she would have to leave the next morning by 5am...because he called me EVERY morning before he went to work and EVERY night after he got off of work. She ASSURED him that she would be quiet...he could TRUST her . He told her that it didn't matter...HE didn't want HER to listen to OUR conversations. He told her that this was between HIM and ME. She got so pissed off she STORMED out of the hotel. My H told me he felt that was the end of it...but then she reached out to him a few days later. She apologized for storming out...and told him she wouldn't bring that issue up anymore. She knew how important this was to my H...and I guess she felt this would be a HUGE "FUCK YOU" to him if it cast doubt to me about OUR phone call ritual.

When my H first told me his REAL reason after DDay for calling me while at the restaurants...it HURT badly. But...after the adultery co-conspirator told me her lie...I knew she was LYING...and I knew WHY. I gladly let her know that I knew she was lying in my follow up email...along with a few other things that DEBUNKED what she felt was "special" between them. She hasn't tried to contact either one of us since...so to ME...mission accomplished .

A couple times, the latest to tell me that my now Xwh is a liar and that i can have him. Umm, no thanks and yes, you are both liars. This was not a news flash.

Yes they have.

I had an anonymous email in 2009 saying she had been fucking my H for years and that he wouldn't leave the kids. That he was a liar. Of course at that time my WS managed to lie out of it as I had no proof.

MOW reached out twice. Once after she discovered I blasted her on a cheaters site. The second time was my False R day when she let me know their affair never ended.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 4:07 PM, May 17th (Friday)]

One text message. It came two months ago. The POS texted that he was sorry for the damage he caused, that he was hurt. That he was asking forgiveness, not for him, but for my well being, because he thought it would be beneficial for me to forgive him.

And on top, he texted that everything he did was not with the intention of hurting me.

(Yep, that was my literal reaction that night)