I've never posted my full story before and for some reason, I feel the need to tell my SI family now. Sorry if it is long winded, but I really need to let some stuff out.
I'm trying to look back on my narrative, and keep getting dates wrong. Damn PTSD! Once in bad to print out some calendars just to figure out How long it has been. So quick backstory.
WW confessed to an EA in December of 2017. Named a guy who moved away, just to throw me off the trail. I was suicidal, about a week from doing it. I had picked out a spot and done research so it would look like an accident. I put together a secondary kit just in case. For some reason, I told my WW and a friend who is a counsellor at work. My friend got me into emergency right away. My WW dropped me off and left me to wait for the doc. I was there for 6-7 hours waiting, wondering if I should just off myself by walking into the lake and letting the hypothermia do it's work. Been close to total hypothermia in the army and it's not a bed way to go as far as I could tell. WW did call at hour 5 to see how i was doing.
I decided that I needed to change my life. I became a different man. Fixed problems in our marriage, all that stuff. I made list if things I would change and changed them. I planned date nights every Friday, I was mor3 attentive, and I made her tea every morning and sat on her side of the bed to wake her up so she would know she was the first thing I thought about. We went to MC and I went to IC as did she. I signed us up for dance lessons. The list goes on. And I was t a horrible husband to start with.i had just built a house to have her parents stay with us so her mom would not be alone after her father died as he was terminal.
Now all the while, she was fucking some grifter cowboy from a barn my daughter boarded at. He apparently fucks anything that breathes and has a f3male name. I knew none of this and continued to work on the marriage. I guess she tried to break it off a bunch of times but couldn't. Finally, she3ndeditjust before we left for a family cruise. When we got back, she discovered that she had been replaced by a much younger model. She was incensed when she must have realized that he had been cheating on her while she was cheating on me. LMFAO!!! now this is where it gets weird. In order to show him he was a bad person, she fucked him twice. That was her rationale so she said. She carpet bombed her own position!
Ok, so it is the end of 2018, October. I still don't know anything beyond the EA which was a ruse. She goes off on a trip to visit a girlfriend who is a family law lawyer. I figure it's ok because she is on her period, but I have a weird feeling. I ask her when she gets back, and she says it's all good.
Turns out, she dressed really slutty, got really drunk and ended up giving some guy she had been hanging around with a blow job in his car.her BFF who had known about the previous affair and covered for it, pulled her off the guy. I always imagine a "popping" sound at this point in the narrative. Like the lollipop song... funny thing, her BFF who is a divorce lawyer was with her sister who is.....now wait for it..........a supreme court justice. And family law to boot. Anyway, it turns out her BFF who has been my friend for 25 years suddenly discovers her moral compass and decides to tell my BFF who was my best man at our wedding. He asks my WW'S BFF why she is telling him? She says she is too chicken to tell me.
Long story short. My BFF calls my WW and gives her a week to confess. Says he is coming into town next Monday to tell me. She begs him not to say anything and promises the sun and the moon. He stands by his decision. On the weekend before he arrives, she fixes me a cup of coffee and brings it to me in bed. I know something is up because she NEVER does nice things for me unless she gets something from it. DEC 2, 2018 fan meets shit and they get acquainted. She is bawling and I am raging.i march downstairs and tell her mom how much of a slut her daughter is..BEST MOVE EVER! I drive off and call my BFF. He consoles me and says it is terrible, especially the parking lot blow job. What???? She left that par5 out curiously enough...
The rest is standard stuff I guess. Guest room for her. Some HB shit, IC MC etc. I tried for 7 months but could hardly stand to have sex with her once the HB stopped. I literally had to imagine I was somewhere else just to get through it. She turned my stomach.
When I came back from a solo trip, I realised that I had been doing all the work. She did almost nothing. I confronted her on it and she told me, and I kid you not, that she could not be there for me until I was in a better place. My pain made her feel too guilty. WTF? I looked at her and I realized that she cannot nor will she ever grow. So I said I'm done. I reached into her purse, grabbed my balls, and went to bed. It was the first night in 2.5 years that I knew peace.
So now I am 11 months from "I'm done" and beaded to divorce. She still does not get it and figures she is the actual victim. I was a bad husband and she was seduced.she will probably never get it and I am coming to terms with that. We list the house next month and I can literally see a light finally. Thanks for the patience everyone...
