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noname7 (original poster member #53890) posted at 6:00 PM on Tuesday, June 25th, 2019
Last night as I was reading as i always feel compelled to do, I had this question pop into my head. Then the realisation and sadness at how much of MY LIFE,MY CHILDREN'S AND PARENTS LIVES, NOT TO MENTION MY MARRIAGE, money, and sanity has been STOLEN from me. I've intellectually known this, and said this, but I dont believe I have truly grasped this. I initially did things right post dday, then started backtracking.
I have still truly never been able to let go of the outcome. I have healed compared to dday, but Maybe this is tbe realisation I need to breakthrough.
[This message edited by noname7 at 12:03 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)]
Me BW
WH
DD
DD
DSD 25
I don't PM male members.
Married 18yrs 4 mos @dday
Together 22
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 6:35 PM on Tuesday, June 25th, 2019
Yes. This realization is where I start spiraling down the rabbit hole.
When I have to really admit that this really happened. To me.
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 6:51 PM on Tuesday, June 25th, 2019
I was having a beer the other day with my mom, we were talking about a lot of things that happened since Dday. It hit me and I looked at her and said "Wow, how the F did all this destruction happen". One day everything was normal(ish) and next thing you know, Boom Dday.
noname7 (original poster member #53890) posted at 7:24 PM on Tuesday, June 25th, 2019
Normally I do too, but it's usually just one area I focus on which is usually my marriage. Last night seemed diffefent. More of the effect on MY life as a whole. I didn't spiral so that's healing.
.
Me BW
WH
DD
DD
DSD 25
I don't PM male members.
Married 18yrs 4 mos @dday
Together 22
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 7:29 PM on Tuesday, June 25th, 2019
Many a night I lay awake wondering "when did this become my life"
[This message edited by Chaos at 1:48 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)]
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
deephurt ( member #48243) posted at 7:42 PM on Tuesday, June 25th, 2019
I wonder all the time how this became my life. My new normal.
How did things get so f’d up. I’m 5 years up and I can’t believe this is what has become of my life. Day to day seems normal but I feel so different now.
me-BW
him-WH
so far successfully in R
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 1:21 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2019
There has to be a point of acceptance, that this did happen. I've had many traumatic events unfold in my life that would have broke a lot of people, they made me and shaped me into who I am today. This one did in fact break me down almost to nothing, this was different. Infidelity sucks big time, the worst! I'm hoping I can use my previous knowledge and wisdom to push through this one as well. I'm a different person today then I was before her A's, just as I was a different person before the other traumatic events. I look at life differently know, trying to become the person I'm meant to be, ME! I've had to accept a lot of things that happened in my life, they happened and nothing will change that but I have the opportunity to grow and react to what life has given me.
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 10:57 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2019
Good question as I sit here at 10 to 4 am reading SI. I should be sleeping. I've been awake since 2 and up since 3. I do spend too much time on SI to the detriment of other things I should be doing. However, I do sleep to 4 or 5, which gives me plenty of sleep, more often than awake early.
When I look back it astounds me about how much time has been wasted since DDay1 when I could have been enjoying life and living it to the full.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
FinDad ( member #66434) posted at 11:21 AM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2019
I have really tried to remember what did I do before? What did I think when I wasn't doing anything? What are normal people thinking when they have nothing urgent to think about?
Also this site... I wonder if this actually is a bad thing at some point. This is very addicting place to be, and to be addicted to something this dark... Cannot be good in long-term. I see lot of people writing here years after divorces, so they should be living a happy life without thinking this hell. While they do provide amazingly great information and support for the ones recently hurt, doesn't being here bring back bad memories again and again?
[This message edited by FinDad at 5:22 AM, June 26th (Wednesday)]
cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 1:42 PM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2019
I would probably be watching TV. I do spend time on here to the detriment of other things, mostly household chores. But, then, if it weren't SI, it would probably be something else like knitting instead of cleaning.
I wondered for a long time how my life became this. How did this happen to ME?! My fch was the guy that everyone said would never cheat. He was the polar opposite of all the other guys I had been involved with, who were lying, cheating bums.
I have a few answers now of why this happened. They have nothing to do with me. My life is better now. The A is just a footnote.
Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life
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