Wow. I can't believe how many years it's been since I logged into here. I am eternal grateful to all of you that have helped me, tried your best to get me to see the light, but I was too stubborn and gave it my best shot lol.
Needless to say, it's over. 14 years with two affairs ended on #3. I told myself and her "three strikes, yer out" and stuck to it.
I've been single now for a year and it has been quite an eye opener for me. My health instantly improved, my home is so much nicer/cleaner, there is no longer that daily feeling of stress or anything looming in my life... my cat has even changed totally from being a bit reclusive to being at my side 24/7 and more affectionate and happy haha.
I've started dating again and I'm even more surprised. Literally every single woman I've dated I have just stood there shocked from the total change of experience. Respect, courtesy, gratitude, warmth... but most of all appreciation. I think appreciation is the biggest change I wasn't used to. For over 14 years, I never once truly felt appreciated. All my efforts, care and love always felt.. expected or due. I feel like I'm living again but this time not alone.
I also have the energy and stamina now to do things for my community. I was always exhausted, worn down, barely treading water in my relationship. Now I have a new vigor and can help with events, local programs, volunteer work, charity drives and even just simply making friends and helping neighbors.
I think the only negative thing is I keep forgetting I'm 50 lol. I've pulled my back out three times and sprained an ankle so I guess shooting hoop or running with the 20-somethings isn't the best idea at my age!
More importantly, I have no ill will towards my ex. We did share many special moments and we did tackle a lot of things together. I wish the best for her.. truly.
Again, I thank all my brothers and sisters here for helping me keep my sanity in what could clearly be considered an insane situation. I've learned so much here and my life is now focused 100% on me... thanks to the tools and experiences we've shared here together!
BS (ME): 44
WS(HER): 42
9 years
OM#1- 20-something loser, stole bunch of my things after she had sex with him in our bed (no condoms, STDs)
OM#2- 24 year old, unemployed loser, lives with mom & dad
DDay 1/2012
NC 3/20/2012
SGASDay 4/1/2012