This Topic is Archived
Odonna ( member #38401) posted at 3:21 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2019
I was wondering what the superseding crisis was, and sure enough that is really awful. Do not beat yourself up for wanting to crawl into a hole and feeling numb. You are only human.
My best advice of to go buy Whack-a-Mole and play it with your DD until you laugh hysterically. Or one of those hamsters that repeat back what you say in a high whiny voice, or some other such silly game or toy. You physically need the endorphins from the laughter to re-set your emotional equilibrium.
I am so sorry you lost your mom.
nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 4:28 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2019
Sorry for your loss, Neanderthal. Stay strong.
Butforthegrace ( member #63264) posted at 4:34 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2019
Sorry to hear about your loss.
I concur with the suggestion about finding ways to have fun with your DD.
"The wicked man flees when no one chases."
MickeyBill2016 ( member #56459) posted at 6:29 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2019
She can't help me, and honestly she probably doesn't care.
So Sorry...In the same year I lost my mom and filed for divorce in a span of four months. Both of the most important women in my life were gone. One by death and one by choice...
It will be hard...talk to your friends, most have gone thru at least one of those life events. Keep your daughter close, have fun with her.
Your WW has known your mother for a long time so I think that she cares, both for you and partially how this will affect her in the D or R.
[This message edited by MickeyBill2016 at 12:31 PM, September 30th (Monday)]
9 years married.
13 years divorced.
sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 6:47 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2019
I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your mum.
...second star to the right and straight on till morning.
NoOptTo ( member #62958) posted at 10:20 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2019
So sorry you have to deal with the passing of your mom on top of trying to deal with your WW. Will say a prayer for you and your family. Keep doing the right thing. Take care of yourself and your little girl. If you need to let out some out steam, get a heavy bag, hang it somewhere in your basement, garage or outside. Then go to town. If you cant get a heavy bag, get a large duffle bag and fill it with stuff and use that.
Sending you strength to help you deal with this.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 10:47 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2019
Sorry to hear about your mom.
That is a permant life changer.
Sharkman ( member #56818) posted at 11:09 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2019
I'm sorry for your loss, N.
Be proud that she built you into a man that has been able to deal with this absolute shit hand that you were dealt. Being a successful parent and building a strong adult is the best legacy that you can leave behind.
Newlifeisgreat ( member #71308) posted at 1:03 AM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2019
Neanderthal,
I am so sorry for hearing the loss of your mother.
I hope that the pain you feel at her loss is quickly replaced by the warm memories of the moments you shared with her and the love she had for you and her darling grand daughter.
Betrayed Spouse. She cheated and I filed immediately upon discovering. She never even suspected that I knew until the moment she was served with reason being Adultery. Divorced: Sept, 2018. VERY happy with new life, 0 regrets
RubixCubed ( member #51615) posted at 1:09 AM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2019
Neanderthal,
My condolences on the loss of your Mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I lost my Mom in May from a massive stroke so I freshly feel your pain. The tears will come when the shock wears off. When they do, let them. It's hard.
"But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd."
ramius ( member #44750) posted at 8:43 AM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2019
So sorry to hear this.
My mother died very unexpectedly. The grief will come and go in waves. You just have to try and ride them.
Since your WW seems incapable of supporting you, do you have any other friends or family you can lean on?
Do you have the ability or means to get away for a few days? Maybe some distance from your cheater will give you a chance to grieve your mother.
How many scars have you rationalized because you loved the person who was holding the knife?
Their actions reveal their intentions. Their words conceal them.
emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 5:04 PM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2019
I'm so so sorry, Neanderthal. Please keep taking care of yourself the best you can manage right now. ((Neanderthal))
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
numb&dumb ( member #28542) posted at 5:23 PM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2019
So sorry, man. I've lost my Mom before I was ready too. It all hurts.
Can you go see your GP ?I had to medicate myself for a time. Nothing wrong with that. At a minimum it helps you function.
Your are in my thoughts and prayers.
Dday 8/31/11. EA/PA. Lied to for 3 years.
Bring it, life. I am ready for you.
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 8:00 PM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2019
Sorry about the loss of your Mom, Neanderthal. I lost my Dad unexpectedly. It was a real shock to the system and I wasn't dealing with adultery at the time.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 4:35 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019
HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 10:19 PM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019
Whats the point of having a wife, that doesnt mourn the loss of your mom, not helping you while youre taking your mom to the hospice? Does that sound like a wife worth keeping? Are you not worth more?
You have continued to try to get to the truth, looking for ways to hack phones, thinking about a poly. That last bit about your mom is enough to make me run.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom, losing a parent is soul crushing. Not having a supportive wife during those times, is like not having a wife at all.
NoOptTo ( member #62958) posted at 10:53 PM on Saturday, October 5th, 2019
Hope your finding some support while your away grieving with family at the lose of your mother. We here are thinking about N.
Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 5:30 AM on Monday, October 7th, 2019
Brother
I am so sorry for your predicament. After reading both posts, she does sound like she was wanting a blended family without you in it.
The Main Street and purchasing of a birthday present for POS DD would be too much to take.
Good luck on the polygraph hope you do get to R (if that is what you want); and the TT is over.
However; stand by your principles if you feel it is better to D that put up with her manipulating than D.
It is what you need not what she wants.
Good luck
emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 5:09 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2019
Hi Neanderthal,
Just checking in. How are you holding up? How are things going with your family? Is your wife doing what she can to support you through this?
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
Mynamedontfi ( member #71706) posted at 5:40 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2019
Hello brother. I am still in the fog as well so I don't have any advice to share. But I did want to say that I know the feeling of losing your best friend. I feel for you and your situation. I am sorry for your loss.
This Topic is Archived
