SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It’s hard, but keep to your plan. Good luck!

Yes, avoid her as much as you can. If you know she is manipulative, stay away. Start seeing her for what she truly is. That is a lying cheat. As soon as my head cleared, there is no way I would have taken my WW back. She became the black swamp monster, and there was nothing she could do to win me back. She didn't physically change, but in my eyes, i didn't recognize her.

Start seeing your WW for who she really is. It wouldn't matter if she moved Heavan and Earth, once it was done, it was done.

Brother take is all in, slowly and carefully. Keep a VAR with you when you interact. Keep the conversation civil at all times. No yelling, keep every conversation emotion free. If it gets heated, then just time out. Refresh and then continue.

Start the 180, now and when you move into the new accommodation then full 180 and ask that all correspondence be well basically written out.

Her manipulating will kick in big time from now. Sounds like she is always controlling the outcome, now she isn’t in control, you are. Did she not think there would be ramifications re her actions and EA with sexting and nude pictures.

Good luck and take care.

It seems as though she never expected you would leave her.

You have taken her control away.

Sit back and watch the shenanigans. Chuckle to yourself.

Do the following if you think your STBXW will go on a rampage. Just in case, you never know.

Go ahead and pack up what is important to you - important papers like birth certificate, tax returns, etc

Put your medication in a bag and keep it in your car - except for what you are taking that week.

Pack a bag of clothing to keep in your car trunk, just in case she goes scissor crazy on your clothing or something. Best to have a weeks worth of clothing than to have to buy more.

Anything you want that is sentimental, you need to have it stored safely -

If she asks you to leave, DO NOT DO IT until you have everything you want out of the house because if you leave, you might not get anything else bc it is considered abandonment. Stay in the house until you get a legal separation.

A friend of mine moved out with just a small bag and her car. Guess what she got in the divorce? Her small bag and a car. Because the judge ruled she abandoned the home.

When you tell her, use your phone to record it in case she loses it.

MamaDragon has excellent advice. As usual.

The only thing I would add is to document, Document, DOCUMENT everything. And have a back up copy.

I wish I'd done it differently.

After a year's failed attempt at reconciliation, where she had become totally self-absorbed ("I've forgiven myself!" and "My affair was a cry for help!"), I hit my braking point.

I told her, "get the fuck out of my house."

This set up an excuse for her to blame me for everything as a justification for her to be extremely aggressive in the asset distribution process.

In hindsight, I wish I had just said, "You know, I'm finding despite the work we've done in our reconciliation attempt, that I still cannot trust you. I think we need to divorce."

First don't feel bad and understand you did noting wrong. Form what you have said, This was going to happen either way. She obviously will never blame herself for anything. Let me clue you in on a well know fact. Cheaters are never the villain in their own story. You were going to be the villain either way. Telling her to GTFO sounds lie the only choice you had left after all she put you through....

(((Fireflyuk))) I'm in the same boat right now. I just gave our renters notice but they can't be out until February , but STBX is staying supposedly at a hotel, (I just had another D-Day so who knows) and it's better with him not around. I finally have peace and it's fantastic.

I will be filing for D next just need to pay my retainer

Sorry we are on this journey. Stay as NC as you possibly can that is what is helping me stay strong.