SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I told extended family and acquaintances that I couldn't get along with her new boyfriend, so we decided to go our separate ways!

This would usually get a few chuckles, and break any tense moments.

Then I would direct the conversation to the latest news highlights or sports news of the day.

It would usually carry on calmly from there, and I didn't have to get into specific details etc.

My friend whose wife was cheating on him told said, "You know when you merge onto the highway and the jerk next to you won't let you in even though you have your blinker on.

I have to divorce my wife because she keeps dating those guys and I got tired of elbowing other guys out of the way while in the bedroom.

Almost triggered my road rage."

We all were trying not to spit our drinks out when he busted that out in front of her best friend. Even she had to chuckle a little.

[This message edited by DoinBettr at 9:31 AM, October 1st (Tuesday)]

Found she stayed at his place again over the past few days.

So clearly the, "I will do anything," line was an empty promise. She wanted to save the M to erase her choices and save face.

She's got more problems than you know about. She needs to sort herself out and you can't do that for her.

I get a sense you are comfortable in your decision to D and likely you won't regret it.

It is time you life your life without the hindrances that she brings to your life.

Only when she hits rock bottom would she be capable of R. It might take a month, a year or 10. Are you willing to put your own life on hold while she continues down this destructive path ?

She will keep trying to draw you back in. Keep communication through your attorney from now on. Talking to her adds to your pain. Limit that and viola ! . . .less pain. KWIM ?

Hey guys, it's been a week and a month since this all transpired. Haven't thought about the site for a long time but was going through my poor attempt at a journal(maybe 5 entries) to see the progress and continue to process and saw the earliest note I made which was a copy of the original post I made here.

Just wanted to report back and thank everyone. I want to say that the support and advice was fantastic and that I'm doing incredibly well, I'm really surprised myself. Moving on was 100%the way to go. Making the cleanest break possible. I've found positive ways to spend my extra time, have been focused on myself, joined two coed rec sports leagues, I've been working out, reading, going to concerts. My friends and family are unbelievably great. Church has been ridiculously supportive. Work is always busy but going well.

My therapist told me I'm doing great and that if I wanted to I probably didn't need to keep coming but did recommend every other week for a few more weeks and see how it goes from there. I've also been on a few dates recently.. And i see not much has changed in 6+ yrs.. one was awful another was very nice.

The hardest part of this deal now is really the logistical piece,which is all in progress already. I'm anticipating the worst, not waiting for but just ready in case something does become a bigger problem, logistically or otherwise. But I've been feeling pretty good for a few weeks plus now and don't forsee a shift away from that.

I do see people recommending articles and books so wanted to mention some that have really helped. A book called 'The Obstacle is the Way' and then Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. What I've taken away is to control what you can and do your best to not let what is outside of your control bother you. Understand the situation you are in now, control your reaction to that and your subsequent actions. Choose not to be harmed by what happened and you won't be harmed. Instead turn it around and see the positive and potential in the situation. This doesn't mean don't feel or don't process that. I've taken a lot of time to do that and still do. It just means to be present, focus on the moment at hand and being the best version of yourself that you can be, so that you and others can benefit from that.

Anyway, thanks for joining me for a bit on this wild ride. Really appreciate the kindness, compassion and generosity from everyone here and wanted to report back for all those who invested some time in this thread.

[This message edited by Awfulawfulday at 11:30 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)]

What I've taken away is to control what you can and do your best to not let what is outside of your control bother you. Understand the situation you are in now, control your reaction to that and your subsequent actions. Choose not to be harmed by what happened and you won't be harmed. Instead turn it around and see the positive and potential in the situation. This doesn't mean don't feel or don't process that. I've taken a lot of time to do that and still do. It just means to be present, focus on the moment at hand and being the best version of yourself that you can be, so that you and others can benefit from that.

This advice should be given to every BS that post a thread.

Life waits for no one.

[This message edited by 66charger at 9:25 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)]

Congratulations on getting out of Infidelity!

Good luck, take it easy.

Congrats to you Awful. You're moving on and are more successful than when you started. Your life will continue to get better. Keep taking care of yourself and remember to not pick the same type of person. I wish the best for you.

Wanted to give a final update before signing off for good. Divorce was finalized today. Thank you all again for the advice and support. 100% the right decision in my case. Things are going really well and should be even better now that the legal stuff is done and I'm settled in new place.

It's been a whirlwind. Here's hoping the next year is less eventful than this one has been! Was a strange experience that has hopefully changed me for the better, I certainly learned a lot from it and feel I've grown and am coming out of it a better man..and much more prepared for whatever life may throw at me next. That said, there is still healing that needs to take place and my heart will always go out to anyone who has or is going through something similar, it's been the toughest thing I've had to go through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Thanks again!

Something symbolic for you jumping into a new year and new decade with this nightmare behind you. Good luck to you!

Feel free to come back if you have issues. The divorce/seperation forum is full of good advice if you ever need help.

Duplicate

[This message edited by NoOptTo at 7:01 PM, December 30th (Monday)]

Thanks for the update. You dealt with this infidelity crap as well as can be expected. Good luck moving ahead with your life.

I’m glad it worked out that you can start the new year fresh.

Good luck to you.

Also feel free to come mentor others who are not yet out of infidelity, to lend encouragement and support for them to find their own path.