Girl, I feel you, but staying married to this character out of fear of the next character, is not the answer. Like you, I wont remarry, but you have to learn to be okay with that. Being married to an abusive person is not your punishment and your children know more than you realize.
This is similar to another person (divorce thread, I believe) asking about in-home seperation. I would highly suggest reading through the replies.
I did this (in-home prison) for the past two years (filed a week ago today) and it hell on earth.
The Sonny and Cher hippy commune ended at Chaz...all kidding aside, really think this over.
Are you prepared to witness your husband go out at any and all hours of the night, while sneaking around? Cheaters believe this gives them a free pass to be outwardly blatant with their affairs and it escalates. He has already proved to you, that contracts are just pieces of paper. You are essentially rewarding the cake-eater and this will mess with your children's heads, just as it will yours.
My son is 24 (22 on DD) and I tried fo make this work, to keep him home, while going to school...this has really fucked with his head and now I need to figure out how to do damage control, in attempt to mend our relationship.
People look at Karma the wrong way. You get in what you put out (I say Xs 3) and if divorce is right for you, then let him reap what he sows... He chose the path of rushin' roulette, he landed in the grave...you have to sit back and watch the dirt slide in in order to fully appreciate the mess he created for himself. This isnt your fault.
From my experience, my husband goes out every damn weekend...its triggering as all hell...he is most likely hooking a nut or landing new supply... since filing only a week ago, hes escalades his behavior...he literally sneaks around and believes I dont notice... yeah, I drink....trust me, girl...you dont want this shit. Show your kids the strong woman that you are and slam your foot down.
Even following the divorce, I will be here a while collecting a history of alimony payments, in order to apply for a mortgage loan...I haven't anyone to turn to.
[This message edited by DashboardMadonna at 10:54 AM, November 3rd (Sunday)]