SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

He told all of them, and the entire sugar baby site all about my health. He put it in his profile as a lure for pitty. Every person he met with, and there were many got the "I've lost the woman I love" story. While he was stabbing that woman in the back. The ones he had sex with got the whole tale so he could get validation for the sacrifices made for me. He said several of them cried and told him what a great guy he was. which was exactly what he was hoping for. I feel like I was a prop to him. He even sent one of them a picture of the food he made me for dinner one night, told her about the medical diet I was on, and how hard it was to find things I can eat. So a hooker knew what I was going to eat for dinner, before I did.

He never told them negative things about me personally. He didn't have anything bad to say about me, and he didn't think it was their business.

My WH insists that he never talked bad about me, and when his AP did, he changed the subject.

He claims that he didn't like when she brought me up, because it made him feel guilty and it was harder for him to "keep things separate," -- at the time he figured his home life was his home life, and his work life was his work life, so having a woman at each, as long as there was no overlap, was okay.

[This message edited by ibonnie at 6:13 AM, November 22nd (Friday)]

Believe the words, and take them into account, that this is the true character of your WS.

As some have pointed out, some WS even stay away from the insults. I can understand being attracted to other people while in the marriage. If that is the basis for an A, the A is disgusting still, but I get it. The insults are not necessary.

The insults I got from my xW on the way out the door, why should I forget those? I don't want R to be the BS sticking their fingers in their ears and going "nah nah nah nah nah." That is not healthy.

Yeah this was a nice kick in my balls when I found out that my husband was not only cheating but laughing in my back.

I was homeschooling my kids and this became the butt of jokes. They are both engineers and ah ha, the idiot at at home was sending Ricky Racoon drawings with googly eyes from the kids and proud of her shit, while they had the upper hand with deleting all the texts and emails and bonking in the car (and thinking nobody at work was aware... lol).

He also took a seriously unflattering pic of me when I was on the carousel with a kid. I looked like a fat blob. Pic got sent to the AP, the one he really fancied.

Other crap was the AP also gave my youngest kid a nickname. I used to call her Savannah Banana. One day the hub sent me an email asking how is Miss Savannah. I was wtf-ing (is that a word?) why he would call her that, but no point in asking because he would back-track or just come with a stupid explanation.

The hub also started running with the AP (to me he was in meetings). She had the balls to joke to my husband that I (!!!) should thank her because I was getting a fittest husband in bed!

Obviously I did not thank anybody.

And it goes without saying that after dday I sent her an email carefully worded that she would get my fist in her face if this shit kept going on. And just to ram my point because doormat I am not, I emailed her boss (and later her hubby). A co-worker of hers told my husband that their boss was going round the office asking what had happened between AP and hubby. And the co worker said AP told her co-worker that she had to "keep her head down ". Ha! Like before, eh? Hubby did not find my joke funny.

AP got moved to another department and 3 years later got fired. Her husband left her and I divorced mine.

I have no idea how you overcome some of the comments the WS made about the BS in this thread. I agree with Twicewounded about it being a direct attack and a personal violation.

Perhaps a good strategy, if you still want to pursue R, is to realize most Affairs are a fantasy addiction and WS will say anything to keep the drug coming their way. No need to tell the truth or use discretion in fantasy land, is there?

But I think the other good strategy is to carefully consider if R is really possible if your WS not only had an A but deliberately attacked your character or shared your personal details with the AP as well. A number of these comments would most likely be deal-breakers for R if they happened to me.

Mine swore up that she didn’t say anything about me to AP. Eventually I got the truth. She bashed me hard. Said I was a bad father. Praised AP as an amazing father and man. This is very hard on me. All the things she said to him were complaints she had about me for years. Now she says she sees everything differently and that none of it was true. It was true at the time and that is enough.

He also took a seriously unflattering pic of me when I was on the carousel with a kid. I looked like a fat blob. Pic got sent to the AP

My fch did something similar. Apparently, he was angry that I wasn't helping him pack things for our move (nevermind that I had just asked him what I could do and he said, "nothing"). He took a pic of me sitting on the couch in an old, huge raggedy t-shirt. It was packing day, after all. Not like I was going to dress up. Sent it to the MOW.

I didn't see the pic. I don't know what he said about it. I sure it wasn't flattering.

He also took a seriously unflattering pic of me when I was on the carousel with a kid. I looked like a fat blob. Pic got sent to the AP

That is just plain fucked up.