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Thomas11 (original poster new member #68975) posted at 3:39 PM on Wednesday, November 20th, 2019
Posting as this is the place with the people that understand the mess infidelity is and just needed to get it out. Probably sound like a broken record. For those that don’t know, WW had 6 year long term affair. I gave it a shot, but others don’t change unless they want to. Research showed thousands spent talking to psychics lately (was always about OM before), so put GPS back in service. Drove by his house 3 times in last month (twice in last 8 days) and preceded it restarting last time. Confronted last night and am divorcing. No contact but not living with pining any longer. Relieved, but none of it is easy.
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 3:41 PM on Wednesday, November 20th, 2019
(((T11)))
I am so sorry. But good for you getting out of limbo. D sucks, but it is worth it to not have to live like that anymore.
Keep on swimming!
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 3:43 PM on Wednesday, November 20th, 2019
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
BeyondRage ( member #71328) posted at 3:44 PM on Wednesday, November 20th, 2019
No contact but not living with pining any longer. Relieved, but none of it is easy.
Six years and still pining???? Her words in the confrontation or did you get the denial bull shit???
Not making a decision is the hardest part. Just my opinion, but "limbo" is the worst state to be in.
i am assuming you are absolutely sure of NC??
Me- 49M
WW- 48F
Kids- 23,21,20,18 all female
https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=640592
fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 5:22 PM on Wednesday, November 20th, 2019
Sorry it came to this Thomas but you will be in a better place. She has shown she is not worthy of you. You gave it your best. Always value yourself. Good luck.
Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.
Thomas11 (original poster new member #68975) posted at 5:25 PM on Wednesday, November 20th, 2019
No contact and will not admit to pining, but talking about OM to some stranger and driving by his home says enough. Pining is crappy and happens, but not dealing with it professionally so that it’s understood and ends, and doing this other stuff says she’s not all in, so I can’t be either.
ThisIsSoLonely ( Guide #64418) posted at 5:32 PM on Wednesday, November 20th, 2019
Pining is crappy and happens, but not dealing with it professionally so that it’s understood and ends, and doing this other stuff says she’s not all in, so I can’t be either.
I'm pretty sure this is where my WH has lived for a long time. He goes back over and over and over again. And where does that leave you (and me)? On the outside looking in at a life we thought we were a part of. I'm sorry it's come to this - it came to me in a similar way. The contact for him always resumes...and likely will forever IMO. They are destined to have the 10+ year A (it's been 2.5 now) and fuck over every person who becomes involved with my WH - it will only end if the AP's OBS divorces her I think. Who knows if that will happen but it's not my problem anymore.
You are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. Act accordingly.
Constantly editing posts: usually due to sticky keys on my laptop or additional thoughts
Robert22205https ( member #65547) posted at 6:16 PM on Wednesday, November 20th, 2019
I read your prior posts as well as this current one.
Every spouse has a right to feel safe from infidelity. Your wife has failed repeatedly over a long time frame.
IMO your wife's continued obsession with the OM makes her an unsafe life partner. You deserve better.
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