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Candyman66 ( member #52535) posted at 2:07 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2019
My ex said she divorced me was because I was "Boring" because I never fought with her. 
Nobody else has ever had a problem getting me to fight.
JMO YMMV
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:36 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2019
I put less stock in what a cheater uses to rationalize the affair. It’s all their own thoughts used to excuse their Crappy choices.
My H had the nerve to tell me that I never loved him and only married him to spite my parents (who didn’t like him based on cultural differences). My parents and I had a rough relationship for years b/c I chose my H over them.
I know that it’s not true to why I married him BUT I hope he knows I won’t forget he said that. I know he only says it out of anger - but that’s what cheaters do.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Maddforhealing ( member #70928) posted at 3:07 PM on Friday, December 20th, 2019
I actually read somewhere that the more we forgive bad behavior the more respect is lost. I had forgiven him so much over a decade that when he finally did this all respect for me was out the door. I had been doing it wrong by not putting my foot down and leaving his ass in the dust a long time ago.
Mother of 3
Married 15 years
D-Day month April 2019
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:27 PM on Friday, December 20th, 2019
D-Day 1 reason: We are friends nothing happened.
D-Day 2: I was making sure you were 'The One.' and I didn't text and sext him the way she did 
D-Day 3: She is a bitch I can't stand her. I thought you would never leave me. 
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 11:30 PM on Friday, December 20th, 2019
I had been doing it wrong by not putting my foot down and leaving his ass in the dust a long time ago.
FWIW, I put my foot down a lot. I still got cheated on. Don't blame yourself for what your CH did with the grace you extended him. A decent person would've appreciated it.
Wenda ( new member #65447) posted at 3:58 AM on Saturday, December 21st, 2019
Landclark: "he doesn’t truly respect women but instead sees them as objects to fill his ego." Truer words were never spoken
cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 2:05 AM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2019
I’ve been in this position many times. And each time it was soul crushing. I’ve come to believe He wants to crush my soul. Over and over. xwh is Npd. This Realization alone is soul crushing. It’s a game to him.
I no longer asked. I don’t feel I have answers or truth in anything. Just a bunch of different phrases to keep me off balance. He cheated because he likes to cheat. Conversations about it mean nothing.
Do you believe him? If it’s soul crushing. Shouldn’t it be true?
At this point. After all the lies. All the secrets. How can you be so certain? About anything they say? Even if they say something hurtful. If it’s way off base. You shouldnt accept it.
Maybe take it with a grain of salt. Maybe they are punishing you. How cruel is that? To further the pain. When you have such a need to understand. It’s still not a priority
I’ve gave up on conversations. In my case. It’s another blow. I’m setting like an easy target. I have pleaded for answers. To get these insane results.
[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 8:18 PM, December 21st (Saturday)]
cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 2:24 AM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2019
I was told by my first relationship. That I was boring. That relationship ended. He wanted to bar hop. Drink nightly. Have one night stands. As often as possible. This was fun and entertaining. A way of life for him.
It had nothing to do with me. I was a mature adult. Interested in a committed relationship.
His words bothered me. My self esteem took another blow.
We were clearly mismatched. I never regretted ending it but I had to learn the hard way. He was a loser.
Just because they say another stupid thing. Doesn’t make it true.
After all the bad choices they have just made. Destroyed the marriage. You can’t believe everything they say Their words are bad choices
Sadly. Years later. He couldn’t remember saying it. It hurt me badly. Meant zero to him.
On a funnier note. He made this comment to me. As he was leaving to find another one night stand. He had used mascara to darken his moustache. 
I remember flipping back and forth. From being hurt and in shock to staring at that black wet mess on his lip. It was a moment I will never forget. Yes. I had to ask what’s up with that mess? Sent him out the door feeling just as insecure as he made me
Priceless . I’ve often wondered how that night went. It was waterproof. Yet smudged.
I
[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 8:53 PM, December 21st (Saturday)]
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