LifeDestroyer,
I too am a CSA survivor. For me it was the son of my Mother's neighborhood friend, someone we visited often and that I was expected to be alone with. My experience went further than yours and happened many times, and I too was told not to tell, that no one would believe me. That turned out to be true. When I finally did tell, I too was accused of being a liar, and was then forced to apologize to my abuser.
All I can tell you is that, from my perspective anyway, I think it is completely normal for an adult CSA survivor to feel the way you describe. It felt silly to me as well, like no big deal, and I wondered if I was just making a big deal of something that is probably just "normal kid stuff". "Fraud" is a good word for it. I felt as though I had put it all behind me years ago anyway.
The truth is, just because you weren't brutlized, penetrated and left behind a dumpster has zero bearing on whether you were sexually abused or not. You were. It did damage, real damage, as you can see from the example you gave of your husband tickling you. We cannot compare our pain to the pain of others, it is not contest or a goal to be reached. Pain is pain, and all pain is real and equal. Allow yourself the grace and permission to grieve for the little girl that was abused and damaged through no fault of her own. She is clearly still hurting and needs to be protected.
My therapist has said that more than likely that trauma has subconsciously affected my reactions/choices throughout my life. I told her that there has only been one time when I can say that I had a reaction to it, a trigger.
It is not just triggers. Triggers the least of it, at least, in my experience. It is more the life choices and decisions part. CSA changes how we see and value ourselves and others. Being treated like an object for someone else's pleasure sets a signal in our brains, and becomes a role that we often play out.
* Your uncle sent the clear message that you are there for his pleasure, and that your value was based on what you could do for him, with no regard for your own value
* Your uncle, the abuser, was more important than you were when the truth came out. Covering up his lie was given higher priority than your pain. You were not protected and he was. You were valueless, to everyone in your life that was supposed to love and protect you, you were valueless
* Your mother and others gas-lighted you. They told you that you were wrong, that it didn't happen, that you must be mistaken. You were not only not protected, but now being told that you are either crazy or a liar. Again, your only worth was based on keeping up a lie and protecting your abuser.
* When you were being abused, your were praised. When you talked about your abuse, your were demeaned. When you shut up and did what you were told, you were praised. When you tried to stand up for yourself and be honest, you were demeaned. When you lied or looked the other way, you were praised. No matter how many years passed, you were still demeaned for bringing it up.
Think about all that! You were literally conditioned to be all the things that ultimately led to an affair and a lifestyle of feeling "less than". You were taught to lie. You were taught to avoid conflict. You were taught that your only worth was in pleasing others. You were taught that intimacy is a tool for getting value from people that don't value you at all. You were literally groomed, by your family, to be the kind of person who has an affair.
So please, keep working with your therapist, and give this the weight it deserves. If I may (I am not a therapist in any way) I would suggest asking your IC about EMDR and "inner child" type of work. Most CSA's have PTSD trauma from the event(s) and it has to be dealt with as such. I know this work made a world of difference for me. I still struggle with self-love but I'm a lot closer to being healthy than I've ever been, and it feels good. It has changed almost everything in my life.