This Topic is Archived
Robert22205https ( member #65547) posted at 5:07 AM on Monday, January 20th, 2020
Emma...How did you meet 5 people that would be ok with adultery? Was this a swingers group?
In order to justify your affair, did you lead the 5 people to believe that you were mistreated by your husband?
Emma1207 (original poster new member #72492) posted at 12:05 PM on Monday, January 20th, 2020
How did you meet 5 people that would be ok with adultery?
I met them long before the affair, most I met through work, when I started thinking about cheating on my husband they insisted that I was not doing anything wrong (ironically the couple) is in their words "if my husband doesn't you know he doesn't suffer ", I didn't end these friendships because of my husband, I ended it because it was not a friendship.
In order to justify your affair, did you lead the 5 people to believe that you were mistreated by your husband?
No, I always made it very clear to them that I knew it was wrong.
Robert22205https ( member #65547) posted at 3:53 PM on Monday, January 20th, 2020
What kind of work do you do/industry do you work in? It sounds high risk or you prefered to seek out and surround yourself with a certain type of 'friend'.
Did everyone that you shared with (that you were thinking of having an affair)encourage you?
MrCleanSlate ( member #71893) posted at 4:12 PM on Monday, January 20th, 2020
I suspect that the friends may not have personally known Emma's BH - makes being a party to the A a lot easier.Since your affair was mostly out of town, it almost seems like you were living this double life with your 'friends' enabling it.
If you think about it, if any of those friends which are couples there is a good chance they will also be cheating....
In other words - you are much better off without those 'friends'.
Did your BH connect with your affair partner's wife and advise her?
(I'm sure that must have been a hard call for him to make, but it was needed to be done).
WH 53,my BW is 52. 1 year PA, D-Day Oct 2015. Admitted all, but there is no 'clean slate'. In R and working it everyday"
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day
BeyondRage ( member #71328) posted at 9:25 PM on Monday, January 20th, 2020
Emma
Ok, I guess most of us a confused as to hopw a married couple that is not a swinger couple can joyously encourage a "friend' to screw up her life, but so be it. There is not much detail as to if they were buddies of OM.
Did you and your husband double date or take trips with the OM and his wife?
Trips never, dates yes a lot.
The above really confuses me. If i am reading that right, your husband never went on trips but you took him on double dates with your boyfriend. I am guess that was because they were friends. That is a tough one to get over. just my opinion.
As far as the polygraph. Since you have confessed everything, if I was your husband I would be more concerned with if you are maintaining NC with OM in the future as well as these imbeciles in the other city.
The OM apparently knows where you live. What stops him from contacting you???? Or borrowing a phone from a buddy and calling you.
Me- 49M
WW- 48F
Kids- 23,21,20,18 all female
https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=640592
gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 10:16 PM on Monday, January 20th, 2020
BeyondRage - the OP (Emma) has said that her BH is friends with the OBS (since childhood, I believe), which is how Emma met the AP, and why the double dates & no trips comment (my WH and I are friends with and done "double dates" with many other couples, but never gone on trips with them).
I believe that Emma's BH was going to tell the OBS about the A (which is about the most compassionate way to tell her IMO). I hope that has happened, for the sake of the OBS and her regaining her agency over her life.
Hope this helps.
M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived
It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies
Zugzwang ( member #39069) posted at 10:26 PM on Monday, January 20th, 2020
Especially if the OBS is so-called "friends" with these asshats that encouraged you to cheat with her husband.
"Nothing in this world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty." Teddy Roosevelt
D-day 9-4-12 Me;WS
gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 12:02 AM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2020
^^^^^ yeah, if OBS knows/is friends with any of the asshats (technical term, right Zug?) who aided and abetted the A between Emma and her AP, it would be helpful if Emma's BH advised the OBS of this (I sure as heck would want to know who was aware of my WH's extracurricular bedroom antics).
M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived
It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies
QuietDan ( member #57276) posted at 3:52 AM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2020
...I apologize...
[This message edited by QuietDan at 9:34 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)]
Emma1207 (original poster new member #72492) posted at 7:04 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2020
I suggest you join AA.
as I said, I don't drink alcohol, I don't even intend to start.
QuietDan ( member #57276) posted at 8:48 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2020
...
[This message edited by QuietDan at 9:34 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)]
Unsure2019 ( member #71350) posted at 5:31 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2020
Hi Emma,
Just checking into see how you are and how it's going for you. Are you and H talking and making any progress? Did he talk wioth the OBS? You've dealt with this head-on and I hope this can have a postive oucome for both of you.
This Topic is Archived
