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Why do men like younger women?

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Loukas ( member #47354) posted at 1:18 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2020

First, women are entitled to have opinions about everything and are entitled to voice those opinions. We don't need to shit up and stay put of man's business.

Second, women are not preventing men from posting here. If only 5 men post, that's on the men, not the women.

Kind of. Unless the question is directed at men. Even going as far as asking them to be honest. Then the thread is flooded with comments from women calling men gross, disgusting, etc. Not really on the men then, is it? Pretty understandable why they might not reply or be honest if they do.

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WornDown ( member #37977) posted at 1:24 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2020

I stayed out of this thread because I figured it would be a train wreck...not disapointed.

But, I'm glad I poked my head in and found this quote.

Perfect and 100% true.

Nothing makes you a legitimately stronger person in the world than living through massive levels of bullcrap from an unapologetic ex-spouse and coming out the other side. My Fucks-To-Give meter bottomed out, and that's kind of freeing.

Me: BH (50); exW (49): Way too many guys to count. Three kids (D, D, S, all >20)Together 25 years, married 18; Divorced (July 2015)

I divorced a narc. Separate everything. NC as much as humanly possible and absolutely no phone calls. - Ch

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thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 2:05 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2020

I stayed out of this thread because I figured it would be a train wreck...not disapointed.

A wise man indeed.

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 2:25 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2020

Kind of. Unless the question is directed at men.

I can't remember every word of the OP, but the title isn't directed toward only men. Also, even if the question is directed toward men, I'm pretty sure that doesn't exclude women from commenting. How many times are women subjected to mansplaining, and when they complain about it, are told to suck it up?

Even if you get a few harsh reactions from women, that doesn't keep you from commenting. You aren't really that delicate, are you? I get just not wanting to engage. It can take a lot of time and energy. I choose to not engage quite a bit. But, then, don't complain about the lack of male responses.

If you want to engage in real discussion, you have to be prepared for offense. Don't take it personally. Just state your truth.

[This message edited by cocoplus5nuts at 8:26 AM, February 13th (Thursday)]

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

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Loukas ( member #47354) posted at 2:38 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2020

Lol, well now that you have womansplained that to me, everything has become so much clearer.

All I’m trying to say, is if you are requesting the opinion from a group, it’s probably best to not insult that group before hand. It’s not really that hard of a concept to grasp.

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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 2:45 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2020

well now that you have womansplained that to me, everything has become so much clearer.

I'm glad we got that straightened out.

I don't think I posted anything insulting. I certainly didn't mean to. If I did, please show me so I can think about it. I don't always remember everything I say in the heat of the moment.

And, hey, if someone says something that you think is insulting, say so. Some of the men here did. Maybe it will make others think. Maybe not, but at least you've said your piece.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

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hikingout ( member #59504) posted at 2:46 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2020

I always find it interesting in these sort of posts, they are usually the sex ones, but anything that has a different gender view point - that you can have many, many women agree or side with the man but they will focus only on the ones who didn't. AND, the same is true in reverse as well.

Recently, one of my family members tried to engage on a political posts on a social media site. He finally just said "people do not like to see things written down that they don't agree with". And, he's right. That fans the flames more than anything else. And, when there is someone on the thread with extreme view points then you can just bet your bottom dollar it's going to take a really bad turn. I think perhaps those reactions we have to those things we don't agree with provides clues about ourselves.

I personally think that anyone who dates significally younger person, like by generations...whether the older person is male or female, they are just not looking for a partner. They are looking for some leg up or dominance so that they do not have to feel inclined to compromise. I think often it's not that person is evil or bad, but they are often just over-adjusting from a previous situation they didn't like or want to repeat.

As for men being attracted to younger women, or women being attracted to younger man...in a superficial way, not really thinking they want to date them, as the OP was originally asking about...that's just natural to some people because as young men or women they learned what they liked physically about people, that doesn't always change just because we do. Young people are attractive. It doesn't mean that older people are not attractive or that someone who finds someone attractive who is young doesn't also find someone attractive who is their age or older. There are other important things that go into finding someone you love enough to marry rather than just finding them physically attractive. In fact, I would say that I found my husband more attractive once I really knew him.

I don't think this always has to devolve into men are bad, or women are bad or whatever else seems to happen in these threads. I do think we have differences but they aren't as wide as many would have you believe. Our experiences, however, are different. And, I feel like most women have been on the receiving end of unwelcome yuckiness of varying levels, perpetrated by men. That is usually less prevalent the other way around. I don't think just because that is brought up that anyone is trying to shame specific men here.

If you are respectful of women, you have nothing to feel guilty for, it shouldn't really elicit an extreme emotional response. We do have to be careful not to speak in generalities because when we do that it does try to encompass an entire gender under one blanket, and that is never ever going to fit because everyone is different.

Ugh, I thought I was done saying anything on this thread.

[This message edited by hikingout at 8:47 AM, February 13th (Thursday)]

8 years of hard work - WS and BS - Reconciled

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Loukas ( member #47354) posted at 2:52 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2020

And, hey, if someone says something that you think is insulting, say so. Some of the men here did. Maybe it will make others think. Maybe not, but at least you've said your piece.

I would say I do that a lot, coco. On every generalized gender thread. For years. Maybe some think, some call me a misogynist, whatever, I’m a stubborn fuck that is more concerned with folks surviving infidelity than gender politics.

As for your comments specifically? I don’t know. In my opinion that is on you to review your posts.

[This message edited by Loukas at 8:57 AM, February 13th (Thursday)]

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MrCleanSlate ( member #71893) posted at 2:54 PM on Thursday, February 13th, 2020

...I routinely get hit on by men quite a bit older. (Younger happens too but not as curious about that and not as much). So why? Why is that such a prevalent thing?

...But seriously I can say that I do not look at men 20 years younger that way...at all/

So it is an ego boost? Is it gross or not? Do they not just realize how old they actually are? I guess I am somewhat wondering if all men are realistically like that is given the chance kind of thing.

If guys are looking for a ONS then sure they will go for what they perceive as hotter. Do you want wrinkly and saggy, or tight and firm?

At that point he guy is not judging you for personality. How many 50+ guys do we see hitting on 20something waitresses and beer girls on the golf course? Why not, you never know maybe the young thing will nibble and so it costs a few bucks in cloths or whatever...

Older guys have the cash and toys and confidence - and the predators will use that to their advantage. They go around using the crop dusting method by flirting with as many women as possible in hopes of getting one that bites.

I get why guys would want to go for a younger woman for the sex and arm candy. But actually developing a real even relationship????

A couple years ago a younger tech at my office was having a CD acting up in her computer and I suggested that she 'put a penny on it to fix it' and she looked at me like I had two heads. Guy at next desk who is my age started laughing. I had more in common with the guy than the young tech.....I mean what do you talk about with someone 20 years younger?

WH 53,my BW is 52. 1 year PA, D-Day Oct 2015. Admitted all, but there is no 'clean slate'. In R and working it everyday"
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day

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 Jesusismyanchor (original poster member #58708) posted at 1:17 AM on Friday, February 14th, 2020

I just wanted to thank the men for giving honest answers on here. I know that can create waves and I am glad ya'll can swim. I welcome women's comments as well of course as I value my own. I did say I wanted to know from men. I think I did get a good answers reading through it all actually. I can see it depends on the mad and what he is looking for.

Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future

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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 3:08 AM on Friday, February 14th, 2020

As for your comments specifically? I don’t know. In my opinion that is on you to review your posts.

I know my intentions so there's no need. If I say something obviously insulting, you can bet I did it on purpose and have no intention of taking back.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

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