SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Smy:::do you come here to word police BS? At no point in my thread have I said all men anything neither did I say ‘all’ men in the title ...I was very clear about that . It can be taken either way if you so desire but reading the actual posts are always more insightful. Please forgive me if I left the one word off you would have added. Is that really why we are here? If you don’t want to keep stirring it up then I have a recommendation. Stop stirring

[This message edited by Jesusismyanchor at 1:39 PM, February 9th (Sunday)]

..@Jesus..

Word Police ??? Heavens no! and please don't question if I know 'why' I'm here.

..as for my post, I didn't quote you using the word 'all' anywhere. However, your title 'infers 'all' men... which is why I questioned it.

In my time here I've read numerous titles that have drawn the red flags of our Mods and Guides.. warnings about blatant generalizing.

..your title doesn't say 'all', but it definitely infers all. Hence, the generalization!

Now, can I make my feeling known about the TURKEY NECK and old guys??

... actually, there may be a little 'Word Police' in me!! I've been SO tempted to explain TWO, TOO, and TO to people.. ..

..and I do forgive you.

Whether I stop stirring however, is up to the Mods . Sisoon might drop in with his wisdom on the topic. His tag may give it away however.

No hard feelings.. just thought 'some' of the men here might not think they are part of the men in your title.

smy

don't forget 'there' and 'their'

Sorry for my reaction. Probably came from some of the emotional abuse to be honest. I thought about that after my response.

..and then there is the you're and your, as well as the it's and its

hey...no worries

I'll admit to being old'ish and grumpy (sometime)so please take that into consideration,

but the TURKEY NECK thing is where I draw the line!!!

If I had my wish, neither of us would have a reason to be on 'this' site to begin with!!

So sorry you're here.

smy

There's also "they're", Jesusismyanchor. I think autoincorrect sabotages me. I know the difference between all of words mentioned.

I feel even better now, Coco.

I wonder what an acceptable age difference would be. If I ever sign up on OLD I think they ask for an age range.

OLD might be a problem for me, anyway. I have a flip phone and don't swipe or text.

OLD might be a problem for me, anyway. I have a flip phone and don't swipe or text.

😳 Dude, were you around with the dinosaurs? 😋

My oldest once asked me if "they" had gum when I was a kid. He also thought a record was "a really big CD". 😂 It's all relative.

Seeing as most of the replies are from women I am sure I am about to get myself in trouble. I am married to a younger woman and in general I have always been attracted to younger women. I am 14 years older than my wife which to be honest was a bit much. So when I say I am attracted to younger it's typically closer to my age than even she is.

I'm not sure why it is looked upon as any more than a preference, that there must be something wrong with a man who likes younger or the woman must have daddy issues if she prefers older. Some people like their partners to be super fit and others love a teddy bear.

To each their own I say. I think or let me just ask a question, is it possible that it is seen as a problem or issue because women feel more threatened by younger women? I know I feel more threatened by younger men. I can't ever be that again. No matter how hard I work at it I am older. I can't compete with it. Our culture is obsessed with looking younger. Look at 50 year olds today compared to 50 year olds in the past...(J-Lo?)

On last thing, for anyone waiting around for the karma train to hit their WS. It seems with younger women us men have a head on collision with it. So get your popcorn and get settled in.

To each their own I say. I think or let me just ask a question, is it possible that it is seen as a problem or issue because women feel more threatened by younger women? I know I feel more threatened by younger men. I can't ever be that again. No matter how hard I work at it I am older. I can't compete with it. Our culture is obsessed with looking younger. Look at 50 year olds today compared to 50 year olds in the past...(J-Lo?)

I didn't feel threatened by younger women, but I certainly wasn't going to get into a looks competition with a 20-year-old. Maybe when I was 20, but not in my 40s. That would be silly. It didn't bother me, though. I had already lived that part of life and I lived it all the way, so good for the young people getting their turn. Pre DDay.

Yes, after finding out that my XWH had been cheating on me with really young women, I felt pretty much like a non-sexual being. There aren't many crueler things that you can do to a middle-aged person than cheat on them with people half their age. I'm still crawling back from the massive ego hit of that one. I know that's why it bothers me now when I see it. At one time, I'd have just thought "thank goodness I don't have to start over with babies in my 40s...good luck, guys". If a guy wanted 20-year-olds, then clearly I wasn't in his targets anyway so he wasn't my problem. Now it feels personal in a way that I wish it didn't because it truly isn't my problem.

Coco: Yes.

Devastated, I very much resonated with your post. I had no issue aging together and had self confidence. I have had to battle that back since he cheated with younger. Now I can take it personal for sure. Like, oh look at him with that much younger woman. Before I didn't care-C'est La Vie. Now I wonder if they are hurting someone(I mean MUCH younger).

But alas my self confidence is now more intact than ever away from my WH. Thank you to all the young and older men whom have hit on me. I wasn't interested but with some self work, working out, learning to love myself again I am back.

I also would not want to be 25 again and do not feel in competition with them. They will be my age one day. It happens to all of us. I loved the enjoy your life pre-DDAY. I really do think this sometimes. I only do not like the younger women who are OW> They disgust me and I think about how they will feel when the are M in the future with kids. I guess that is a little of topic but at the same time not entirely. Many OW are younger, don't have kids yet and are single. To be honest I have hoped that it haunts one of them that cheated with my H because I heard she got M. In my darker days I sent her a message. She did not know that I knew. I sent her a message that said I hope your H doesn't cheat on you while you are pregnant like mine did with you. Congratulations and watch your back. I am not proud of that moment but also do not entirely regret it.

I do wonder if men who have a big age difference (Sum) worry that their much younger W will stick around when they are older?

I actually do know a woman who M a much older man. He was a cheater and that is how they started so I found out. She D him for cheating on her with younger women (big shock). He became sic so she got back together with him to remarry him for his money. He promised he wouldn't cheat on her and she promised to take care of him if he bought her a new house and agreed to no pre-nup. She thinks he within a few years and she does not want to work. Love is in the air for Valentine's Day!!!

Same to you Say. I wish neither one of us were here

I also would not want to be 25 again and do not feel in competition with them.

I love how young people don't think they are going to get old. They will. I know I never thought I would end up being old and not looking like my young self still. *sigh*

One thing to note about older men and younger men...

Once we hit about 30-35, we just.. dont care. I see young men in the octagon or sparring, and there's posturing, chest puffing, strutting, a lot of chest pounding, and they are nervous. Young men are lean, powerful, and sexy, but us older guys are more often made out of iron bars and steel cable. We dont puff, we dont bluster and feint, we just do what we have to to win and not get hurt too bad.

It's just like, well, I'm going to be in pain no matter what, let's minimize it as much as possible. There's nothing a younger man can do to me that time and life hasn't done a dozen times over.

And when it's over, well, I'll look more or less the same. The younger man will look like he's been in a fight and will age from it, lol.

Apply that attitude to the rest of life, and you've got an older man. At least it has been such in my experience.

Once we hit about 30-35, we just.. dont care. I see young men in the octagon or sparring, and there's posturing, chest puffing, strutting, a lot of chest pounding, and they are nervous. Young men are lean, powerful, and sexy, but us older guys are more often made out of iron bars and steel cable. We dont puff, we dont bluster and feint, we just do what we have to to win and not get hurt too bad.

Wh says the same about the guys at work.

The younger ones, 20 somethings will strut around like they own the joint, puffing out their chests and acting all macho. The older guys come in, do their job and leave.

One of the guys that I know is the big "bragger" of the group. He always has to one up anything someone else says and brags about everything. Some of the things he says I'm sure are just lies to make himself look better. Theres just nothing attractive about that.

There's nothing a younger man can do to me that time and life hasn't done a dozen times over.

Nothing makes you a legitimately stronger person in the world than living through massive levels of bullcrap from an unapologetic ex-spouse and coming out the other side. My Fucks-To-Give meter bottomed out, and that's kind of freeing.

I love these sentiments. Maybe this is why I would prefer my age or a slightly older man. I am not interested in the ones still trying to prove themselves at any age. There is something very appealing about a man that knows they are a man. That calm confidence and maturity is attractive. Some of the men here on SI have restored my faith that you exist out there.

[This message edited by Jesusismyanchor at 8:09 PM, February 10th (Monday)]

I don't feel threatened by younger women. They aren't even in my sphere.

My H cheated with a woman who was 16 years younger than both of us. I didn't feel threatened by her age. I was disgusted with my H because I had a son who was only 4 years younger than her.

I don't consider an age gap like that to be a sign of daddy issues. My H could've been her dad if he had a child as a teenager. That's cutting it kind of close, though. I do wonder when you get into the 20+ year age gap. A middle aged man or woman hitting on a friend of his/her child is just creepy.

My Fucks-To-Give meter bottomed out, and that's kind of freeing.

I love this. I'm taking it!

Jesusismyanchor I once had concerns about my wife leaving me as I got older, now it seems there are other things more pressing to worry about.

I think others have chimed in and said what I think many younger women see in older men, true confidence, maturity, security, which to women is more attractive than that perfect body.

I can say that our age difference has been a huge factor in most of our marital troubles. She and I are a lot a like but she is going through life stages that I have passed and care nothing about now. Like any difference, if it be religion, race, socio-economic, geographical you add an element of difficulty to a relationship. I tell me kids that relationships are hard to make work and know that any of the things like I listed above will only add to the difficulty of making it work, but if they feel good about it, then it is no reason so stop them from pursuing it.

If I am ever single again, I highly highly doubt that I would be interested in someone over 10 years younger. Who knows though I am a stupid male whose brain malfunctions from time to time around women.

[This message edited by SumofOne at 8:33 AM, February 11th (Tuesday)]

In the context of affairs, I can see where a cheating man would "like" younger women because of the ego kibbles involved. In popular culture (which reflects human nature, in my opinion) the older man who "gets" the young attractive woman is held up as a hero/winner. For an older cheating guy who craves ego kibbles (but I repeat myself), having a young woman interested in you must be some pretty heady stuff. They get the ego kibbles of the young woman being interested, and in at least some cases they get the ego kibbles of the 'atta boys from other men.

In a non-affair context, I would think men like younger women for the same reason women like guys with money.

My H definitely got ego kibbles from having a 20-something woman interested in him. He even pointed out the age difference, saying he was an old fart at 43. Ha! That's not old.

I had been ruminating over the comment a while back implying that women shouldn't be giving their opinions here. The poster went on to comment on how few men had posted. That really bothered me.

First, women are entitled to have opinions about everything and are entitled to voice those opinions. We don't need to shit up and stay put of man's business.

Second, women are not preventing men from posting here. If only 5 men post, that's on the men, not the women.