SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Gala apples for eating. Granny Smiths for pie.

I like to mix it up. Some granny, some gala, some red D's. Gives a nice mix of flavour and texture in the pie.

*ducks and runs...

I like to mix it up. Some granny, some gala, some red D's. Gives a nice mix of flavour and texture in the pie.

*ducks and runs...

Yes, granny smiths for pie!

Justsomelady, I know you weren't trying to be insulting. If I thought you were doing that on purpose, I would've given a very different response. I was not trying to insult you, either. See how the words can come across that way, though?

I don't think I ever said I was comfortable with a peer step-parent sitch. None of us have ever been comfortable with FIL's new M. Some of that is because of the age difference. Most of that is because of the person he married. Red flags all over the place. The age difference highlights the other issues, I think.

WRT people having power over us, we say all the time on SI to not give the AP or the CP any of our power. That same line of thinking goes to anyone in our lives. Mental health professionals will say that giving someone else power over you is not healthy.

Maybe it's just the word "power". When you say "power", maybe you mean influence. Everyone and everything will encounter with have influence over us. How much depends on how important they are to us, imo.

I was not trying to insult you, either. See how the words can come across that way, though?

Ok...but even so I still don’t see how I was offensive? I DID see you referred to my situation as being “up each other’s butts” and use intentionally offensive language. To be clear, I am not offended - because I don’t care - but I can clearly see you were the one choosing to use offensive language and I was not. You chose to be offended by my explanation of a dynamic.

Anyway- I DO see what you mean about influence. I think that is probably more what I meant - I see the word power as encompassing a lot of things and not just the literal control of other people. However, I do think all organizations and groups and families have “power dynamics” and they are real. And they get affected by who gets added. Also, I am an older millennial and due to a lot of circumstances I am not as well off as my parents were at my age. I do not own a home and will not for many many years. I don’t rely but SOL benefits and fluctuates depending on my family’s generosity - which has strings attached - and that is a literal power they have over me as well. Money always affects everything.

[This message edited by Justsomelady at 8:16 AM, February 7th (Friday)]

Listen people. I've developed the equations and ran the algorithms. The results are indisputable. Those claiming superiority over Honeycrisp and Ambrosia apples by some inferior apple varieties simply haven't tried either of these.

Well I guess I am weird. I like women around my age. or a little older. I can go back a year or two but no more....

Always keep both in Gala and Honeycrisp in stock.

[This message edited by KingRat at 9:44 AM, February 7th (Friday)]

This popped up in my Facebook newsfeed today.

Women close to or over 40.......

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women near an over 40:

“As I grow in age, I value women near or over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman near or over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman near or over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women near or over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman near or over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman near or over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women near or over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman near or over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

Andy Rooney is a very intelligent man 🤷🏻‍♀️ JS!

There is so much true about what he said. Thanks for sharing that! I especially identify with a few of those points

I did not read the whole thread. But I have a few thoughts.

1- XWW is much younger than I am. She pursued me. I wouldn't have because I thought, "don't be a dirty old man." - much younger means 16.5 years. We didn't take our age difference near enough into consideration. I was flattered and felt great that such a pretty and intelligent girl would like me. (Now I think she's a moron, but that's a different story after there is water under the bridge). I would NOT date someone in that age range again. But in all honesty, if a younger woman wanted to get naked with me, I don't think I'd say no. I would not pursue someone that much younger.

2- You know how some people make a list of celebrities they's have sex with? Cher is on my list. That woman could teach me a thing or two. I'm pretty sure. Well, she was on my list 15 years ago when I wrote the list. (Yes, I actually wrote a list....Can't find it anymore.) Now that I think about it, I just googled her and she's 73. Back then she was still in her 50's. I may rethink this. I think it actually makes the discussion about age differences more interesting.

3.- Big Mister hasn't met an apple he didn't like.

..

So when did the discussion switch to PIE??

..and nobody called me?

..as for the topic title..

I thought generalizing tended to be frowned upon at Si..?

eg. Why do women like men with 'big'.... personalities.

or: Why do men like new cars?..

smy

Going back a few pages I think to a post about old men, pot bellies and turkey necks.

I'm old, slight paunch but in pretty good shape but I DON"T HAVE A TURKEY NECK. I shouted that. I feel better now.

I DON"T HAVE A TURKEY NECK. I shouted that. I feel better now.

You are fabulous!

Justsomelady, I did get myself a little worked up toward the end of my post. I tend to be blunt. I've never been good at being diplomatic.

depending on my family’s generosity - which has strings attached - and that is a literal power they have over me as well.

This is a power dynamic and it's very unfortunate. I don't think there should ever be strings attached to giving. Either give out of the generosity of your heart or don't give at all. It's not truly helping if there are strings attached. I will stand by my opinion that your family wielding that kind of power over you is not healthy. It's manipulative.

I'm not saying your family is full of bad people. They're probably not conscious of what they are doing. In my experience, most people "give" this way. It's a basic fabric of our society. Everyone asks what they can get put of something.

I won't work unless I get paid.

Why should I do my homework if I don't get a gold star?

It's a sad state to live in, imo.

ETA:

Coco I relate to my family totally different from you. I am from a close knit community of a unique cultural background I won’t identify here - and our parents have a huge impact and involvement in our lives forever.

Here's the insulting part. First, you say you relate to your family very differently than I relate to mine. You don't really know how I relate to my family. Then, you go on to say it's very close knit and, basically, your family is very connected and important to each other.

The implication being that my family is not close. We are not connected and are not important to each other. That's simply not true. We just don't tell each other what to do. We don't try to wield power over each other. We don't try to control each other.

If you can't see how what you posted leads to what I just posted, go back to the first statement. You say I don't relate to my family the way you do. Then, you go on to tell me how you relate to your family, connected and important.

Telling me that I am not connected to my family and we are not important to each other is insulting.

[This message edited by cocoplus5nuts at 8:51 AM, February 8th (Saturday)]

I’m not sure how that turkey neck comment didn’t get more attention earlier. My mom stood by my dads side although he developed many physical issues before his death nor was he the best looking man (totally pot bellied). He was however a very good faithful man. He never tried to trade her for a younger model either. He appreciates what he had and always talked about how fortunate he was to have a good woman. That was my life’s dream I guess but didn’t get the same.

I do remember when I was much you get finding older men unattractive. Ugh he looks like my dad...gross. Now I am in my 40’s and I think...he is still ok shape. Nice. He has gray hair...he knows something about life! But I still want what I have always prized the most.::the type of man he is and how he treats others/

As far as the generalizations go...the point of the post was to address that issue that is real...not to say that all men are that way./...they aren’t. My dad wasn’t but I was curious about why and just how prevalent it it. Is woman all know it is a real thing.

Coco - ok. Im sorry. That wasn’t my goal. My goal was explaining the closeness and how it would weird me out even more in the midst of that closeness to have a peer in the mix. On the other topic - agreed -I also know my parents should - If they feel compelled to give - do so without so many strings. It does add something weird to our dynamic, but I am not in a position to refuse when it means never taking a vacation for instance otherwise. And since they are generous, I don’t feel I can say hey - I’d you are going to give me x, could I at least choose to do with it what I fee is most needed for my family. I don’t think beggars can be choosers so I don’t say anything.

Jesusismyanchor- yes I also had a problem with that turkey comment and should have said something.

[This message edited by Justsomelady at 1:07 PM, February 8th (Saturday)]

Incarnate, if a Macintosh is bland and chalky, that's because it was in cold storage for months. A crisp, fresh Mac is the perfect blend of tart and sweet, with a tender skin that's the polar opposite of the bitter rhinoceros hide on a Red Delicious. Macs are the apex of the apple pyramid.

..not trying to stir up dust, but perhaps the title might have been:

Why do SOME men like younger women?

.."not to say that all men are that way."

..but your title does..

..smy

[This message edited by somanyyears at 4:48 PM, February 8th (Saturday)]

Justsomelady, I know that wasn't your intent, which is why I said I was trying not to be insulted. Me feeling insulted by that is my problem. It really doesn't matter one way or the other what you think of me and my family.

I have a very different opinion of those situations with your family. My mother used to try to do stuff like that with me and my siblings. It's totally O/T here, so I'll let it go.

Smy, some men? I thought there was only one.

I am middle age and generally I am not attracted to women younger than maybe 35 or so. That does not mean I do not find them pretty or physically appealing... I am just not really attracted to them like I might be to a woman closer to my own age.

So I don't think it is universal, unless I am an outlier.