SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm sure this has been asked before and if so, please refer me to the correct thread. And this isn't me asking out of despair (although it feels that way much of the time).

My therapist is convinced that my WW will come crawling back at some point, realizing how much she screwed up. I don't really think that is going to happen. I'm more curious about two things:

1) How often it happens so I know how much I should be prepared for the eventuality.

2) What type of personal experiences some have had, if it worked out long-term, how long it was after you found out that they came back, and where in the proceedings you were at the time. (Separated, they left you for another person, or divorced)

I appreciate any input and I can't say it enough, thank you all for being here for others during these horrible times. You & this place have become a great respite from the hell I've been going through.

My fWW pleaded to come back after five months separation.

[This message edited by fareast at 1:29 PM, June 27th (Saturday)]

My WH did not come back to the M until I was done with it. I hired a mediator, we were working on our D, and after a full year of constant IC appointments, much better behavior, and a remorseful attitude, I stopped the D. We stayed separated for a few more years. I really was done, done, done. Crawling back???? Oh, no. When I finally moved on from the M and gave up, he knew he had lost it all and started changing for himself and for the kids. It was like fareast said. I just realized that this "new H" was pretty awesome, but he never expected that. He believed that getting back together was not on the table.

[This message edited by OwningItNow at 3:09 PM, June 12th (Friday)]

My xw ran off with a rich guy. She came back in about two weeks. She thought they were going to get married, but he just wanted a live-in for fun. Crushed, she came back. I took the couch (actually I did so as it helps my back to sleep on one). She begged to stay as I was hopping to the beat of the 'pick me' dance. I was pathetic.

[This message edited by thatbpguy at 4:51 PM, June 12th (Friday)]

I am going to sound harsh and uncaring and downright cruel.

I told my WH to crawl back down the sewer, where he and AP belong.

I called them sewer rats, actually I went as low as calling them Parasites that feed off sewer rats. (Nature has a purpose for all living creatures)

He would need to crawl through Hellfire and worse to convince me that he is offering Love and Devotion.

I still want a D. W wants R.

At very least when this happens, you will possibly understand what it will take to R with you W.

XW tried to return about 12 months after the divorce, but she never realized I was already gone after finding out about her "behavior" a year plus earlier.

Unfortunately, she kept up the attempts at contact until I blocked every means of communication.

It made me feel both vindicated and sad for her to be honest.

I feel like my STBX has been crawling back the entire time while simultaneously duping me. I mean it hasn't been the first time he's done this.

The question is do you really want them back when they come crawling?

I am going to sound harsh and uncaring and downright cruel. I told my WH to crawl back down the sewer, where he and AP belong.

When I see this, it makes me think of how a Betrayer feels (as in what are they going thru) when they either confess, do come back knowing the jig is up, or otherwise. The minute they have to actually face reality. I suppose some don't care that much, some are defensive, and others feel very low.

My XWW tried to come back about every 4-6 months. That soo wasn't happening.

Dday2 my H demanded a D. Walked in the door and said “ I want a D”. No fight or issues prior to this - b/c. It 48 hours before we were in MC and he’s pledging his love blah blah blah.

After 6 months of the emotional roller coaster I had enough. When I found out about false reconciliation and the affair had resumed I had enough.

I looked at him and told him I was D him. He left me with no other choice. And BTW get out. He suddenly wants to R, wants the marriage and wants to stay in our home.

Ha! Too late dude. I was done having my heart ripped out.

He did commit to doing everything possible to get me to change my mind. It took 12 months to stop thinking I’m D this guy every day. He made serious changes that have stayed in place almost 7 years later.

It was never easy for him and did not do anything to help us R after dday2. He either figured it out or we were done.