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Just Found Out :
Update to Christmas Eve D-Day

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 heartbrokeninNC (original poster member #72472) posted at 9:56 PM on Monday, June 29th, 2020

Got the VAR on me. WW is heading back down to GA on Thursday, there will be no lovebombing I don't think. She is welcoming the separation paperwork. DS18 or DD16 are with me at all times and will back me up.

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8555849
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Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 12:37 AM on Tuesday, June 30th, 2020

Popcorn 🍿 at the ready. Remember you got this. She is a confirmed manipulator who cares for herself. Not her children, reputation, or family values.

Pump up the title song as she knocks on the door FBG!

Strength out!

Buffer

Buffer

posts: 1318   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2019   ·   location: Australia
id 8555892
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 heartbrokeninNC (original poster member #72472) posted at 10:49 AM on Tuesday, June 30th, 2020

WW is heading back out to the bearded troll's place on Thursday. Informed her that she needs to find a place after 7/8 as she is no longer welcome here. At least it will be a quiet holiday. VAR is constantly on me now.

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8555997
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 12:35 PM on Tuesday, June 30th, 2020

Thank goodness you'll finally have some peace.

2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8905   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8556007
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 heartbrokeninNC (original poster member #72472) posted at 1:26 PM on Tuesday, June 30th, 2020

Thanks, lalagirl!! It was so peaceful around the house that I just relished the complete and utter silence, can definitely get used to that. Now I know what it's like to be happy even if it's only for a nanosecond.

Tired of tension and the constant hurt that I can't show. Every time WW shows up it's a big shit fest (gaslighting and narcissistic abuse). I have no respect for her and absolutely no love.

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8556017
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Dismayed2012 ( member #49151) posted at 3:25 PM on Tuesday, June 30th, 2020

"I'm not going to let WW determine my happiness."

That's called 'taking your life back'. I wish the best for you.

Infidelity sucks. Freedom rocks.

posts: 1802   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2015   ·   location: Central KY
id 8556055
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KingofNothing ( member #71775) posted at 3:43 PM on Tuesday, June 30th, 2020

D on the ongoing PA and financial impropriety. WW spends worse than a drunken sailor on liberty in Thailand.

I understand that reference, that made me smile.

The affair has been documented through bank statements, texts and FB messenger screen shots. I've got evidence that she has been bankrolling the whole affair through the joint account which I've since stopped depositing to.

Does your lawyer think you can get half of the affair expenses back? Those should be recoverable. Most courts take a dim view of a spouse using marital assets to finance an affair.

Rex Nihilo, the King of Nothing
----------------------------------
“If you’re going through hell, keep going. Just please stop screaming, it’s not good for morale.”
— Winston Churchill

BS 3 DDays/Attempted R, it failed. In a better place

posts: 799   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2019   ·   location: East Coast USA
id 8556056
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 heartbrokeninNC (original poster member #72472) posted at 4:46 PM on Tuesday, June 30th, 2020

Does your lawyer think you can get half of the affair expenses back? Those should be recoverable. Most courts take a dim view of a spouse using marital assets to finance an affair.

We are definitely going down this avenue so that I can be reimbursed. Attorney let me know also that the courts don't look too fondly on it either. There is also financial impropriety going back three and a half years.

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8556084
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 heartbrokeninNC (original poster member #72472) posted at 11:58 AM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

Good News!!! WW is gathering her things up and taking them down to her POS place this weekend in GA. She was doing this last night. Also informed her also that I renewed the lease when she got back on Monday and that she was no longer on it anymore after 7/8.

On another note, WW put in her 30 days notice at work. Thought this would never come!!!

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8556318
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 12:31 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

Good news, indeed!

Onward!

2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8905   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8556330
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Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 12:36 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

Well that’s a double thumbs up. 👍👍

One day at a time.

Buffer

Buffer

posts: 1318   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2019   ·   location: Australia
id 8556332
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Tigersrule77 ( member #47339) posted at 1:02 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

Wow. Looks like she can't wait to be out. Hopefully that means she will be anxious to agree to terms with you. Perhaps she is looking to marry OM right away.

I hope this means there will be less trauma for you in the D proceedings.

posts: 1593   ·   registered: Mar. 27th, 2015   ·   location: Maryland
id 8556342
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 heartbrokeninNC (original poster member #72472) posted at 1:20 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

Tigersrule77, she cannot wait to be out of there and she has indicated this to me since DDay. I don't think she is going to put up a fight but have to cover all bases to protect myself. As for marrying the POS, more power to her. It'll be interesting now since she is going day to day and no longer fantasy land.

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8556345
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goalong ( member #57352) posted at 2:04 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

As with any big change (even where you wanted it) you will feel sad or have misgivings about it for few days which is normal.

At 50 hope she thought twice before moving with a person who she does not know well and a proven cheater.

[This message edited by goalong at 8:08 AM, July 1st (Wednesday)]

posts: 819   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2017   ·   location: USA
id 8556353
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 heartbrokeninNC (original poster member #72472) posted at 2:33 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

I'm ready for it. Since mid-May, WW has been spending almost every other week with POS for either a long weekend or a week. I've gotten a taste for the separation and when she is gone and I'm finally able to be happy again. There is peace even if it's only for a couple of days.

It is a big life change and I was afraid for it back when DDay happened. I guess it was the initial shock and being lulled into a False R (used this time to build a stronger timeline). There is no more love and I'm repulsed by even the sight and presence of her.

The Show Must Go On!!

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 8:35 AM, July 1st (Wednesday)]

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8556360
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 heartbrokeninNC (original poster member #72472) posted at 3:23 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

At 50 hope she thought twice before moving with a person who she does not know well and a proven cheater.

WW was working her way up to a full-blown exit affair for at least a year. From research, she was trying with different men through her online game but they knew WW was married and did not mess with her. WW and POS are both very broken people. They deserve each other.

As for me, I'm moving on to better things!!

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8556366
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Shockedmom ( member #44708) posted at 6:30 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

It’s looking like a swift end is coming to her drama. Great news.

Be prepared for her to reappear within the year expressing her love for you and a desire to return to the family. Her new relationship is bound to implode and she will scurry back looking for comfort and care. It was all a mistake, midlife crisis...

posts: 1094   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2014   ·   location: Hawaii
id 8556449
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 heartbrokeninNC (original poster member #72472) posted at 9:36 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

Be prepared for her to reappear within the year expressing her love for you and a desire to return to the family. Her new relationship is bound to implode and she will scurry back looking for comfort and care. It was all a mistake, midlife crisis...

Midlife crisis......yes. Crawling back, oh hell no!! Once she is out of this house it is done and I've already told her it's over, total NC and blocked on everything except for the phone (only to talk about the D, finances and the kids). She had her chance but decided to burn that bridge down in a five alarm fire.

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8556536
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 10:03 PM on Wednesday, July 1st, 2020

This is just me, but I would block her on the phone as well. Any communication on kids, D, or finances can be handled adequately by email. Gives you a written record, and limits interaction when she can try to hurt you and manipulate you. Many have done this and it seems to work.

[This message edited by fareast at 4:12 PM, July 1st (Wednesday)]

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3991   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8556553
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 heartbrokeninNC (original poster member #72472) posted at 2:46 AM on Thursday, July 2nd, 2020

Will definitely keep this in mind. I thought with the texts that this would be a written record also since it can be timestamped. She's got my email address though. Currently in the process of moving the household into my name only.

M-20 T-21DDay: 12/24/2019Separated: 8/22/2020D: 10/11/2021

Me: 52

"Always fear regret more than failure." - Author Unknown

It's time for another name!

posts: 327   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2020
id 8556666
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