SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Because sex = validation. "I'm so amazing! Look at how people want me and tell me how amazing I am!"

Because sex = validation. "I'm so amazing! Look at how people want me and tell me how amazing I am!"

I suppose it could be, but honestly, I think it's so much simpler than that.

Why order dessert after a big meal when you're already full? Because you can, and because it tastes good. In a lot of ways, it's really that simple. I've never cheated, but I've done a lot of dating in my day, including dating multiple women at the same time? Why? Because sex feels good, it's fun, and when you have more women in your life you have more opportunity to have that fun and different kinds of fun with different women.

The hurdle for me isn't having more sex when you're already having sex, it's risking so much for more sex. And, I can see why, it's just not a great cost/benefit analysis, affairs don't usually last that long, it's a lot of work, and they often end badly, including going on a sexual drought with your H/W. So, in effect, your borrowing tomorrow's sex for today. For a lot of people, myself included, sex with someone new is usually quite good, so, you could argue your trading maybe not great sex for great sex but.. Honestly? I think it's just a failure to see into the future. Same reason people borrow up to their eyeballs in debt buying crap, they can't see into the future and how badly all the debt will hurt them and come to define the lives. Many, many people suck are it; they can't see to the end of the day, let alone months/years from now. Hence, retirement crisis, people whooping it up and partying while there's a pandemic raging and, of course, people risking a good marriage/sex life for a quick toss with someone new.

Because sex = validation. "I'm so amazing! Look at how people want me and tell me how amazing I am!"

Yup. There is nothing sexually, quality or quantity, that AP could have given my POSWH that he wasn't already getting, enthusiastically, from me.

One of my male co-workers, who was aghast when he found out I had been cheated on, had this little nugget of wisdom that made me feel a little better: "When you have caviar every night, sometimes you just want a fish stick." So I started referring to "mediocre sex (but still sex)" AP (WH's words) as the "fish stick." Boring, cheap, forgettable.

He had (and still has) a gaping hole in him. He has nothing of his own to give him the feeling of importance he somehow feels he is entitled to. A great marriage to a very compatible, smart, sexy woman, two awesome kids, a successful business that we (I) ran. All the time in the world to pursue his hobbies. Not enough to fill his void. He pursued beer and really unappealing women instead.

This has nothing to with us or the availability or quality of sex. In fact, I'd say these cheating fucks would be just as happy fucking a blow-up doll as long as it made all the right "you're so important and so awesome!" noises. And maybe had a pulse... but I think that would be negotiable too.

Greed. Some people are just greedy. They can have everything great at home, and still want more. That goes for sex just as much as it does for money, power, attention, etc.

Greed. Some people are just greedy. They can have everything great at home, and still want more. That goes for sex just as much as it does for money, power, attention, etc.

Yup, that's how I see it and what I've seen IRL from cheaters I know. It's just pure greed, I can have it, why not. It's your typical "rich man who continues to steal from the petty cash drawer" or "rich man who steals from the poor". Which is why I really bristle when we say these people are lacking validation, if anything, they are OVER validated, ego driven and greedy. That much, much better describes the cheats I know (and certainly my W's AP) than some "broken/desperate/under validated/FOO ridden man". He's just a greedy pig, and more sex is always better, just like more money is always better. You can never be too skinny or too rich, right?

Yup, that's how I see it and what I've seen IRL from cheaters I know. It's just pure greed, I can have it, why not. It's your typical "rich man who continues to steal from the petty cash drawer" or "rich man who steals from the poor". Which is why I really bristle when we say these people are lacking validation, if anything, they are OVER validated, ego driven and greedy. That much, much better describes the cheats I know (and certainly my W's AP) than some "broken/desperate/under validated/FOO ridden man". He's just a greedy pig, and more sex is always better, just like more money is always better. You can never be too skinny or too rich, right?

I'm not a Trump basher, but the man is sexually greedy. He had one smoking hot wife after another, and he cheated on all of them simply because he could.