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NeverEnough28 (original poster member #58215) posted at 9:51 PM on Friday, July 10th, 2020
Short version of my story. Husband cheated 3 years ago, begged him to stay. Became a madhatter, had a full mental breakdown and ended up hospitalized. While in hospital husband closed all our joint accounts took his stuff and left the house. He refuses to talk to me unless it's divorce related. The last two days have been rough all I've done in cry. My heart feels like it's in my stomach. All trust is gone on both sides, he's been so cruel.
How do you ever love again, how do you ever trust someone again? I can't imagine falling in love with someone new and having them break my heart like this. I can't do it again. I don't know if I can even get through this time.
I may be knocked down, but I'm not knocked out.
Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 10:41 PM on Friday, July 10th, 2020
I hear you and I thought that I could never open myself up to another person again. But I did. It didn't work out, but it taught me what is possible. Now, I am just focusing on myself and moving forward. I decided to not date for at least 6 months, but probably a year. I really want to explore me and what that all means. I figure that at the end of that, I might be a better partner than I would have been before. Then, who knows?
People are surprisingly resilient. You might just surprise yourself.
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 2:04 AM on Saturday, July 11th, 2020
I feel the same way. It is going to take some time before I can even entertain that thought.
I really want to explore me and what that all means
I'm currently doing this and trying to heal my childhood wounds. Every relationship I have had has been abusive in some way. I don't really want to risk my mental health again.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
LadyG ( member #74337) posted at 6:38 AM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020
Last night I heard that song ‘Only Love Can Hurt Like This’
I teared up a little and then cuddled up to my puppy.
I realised that even though I offered my STBXWH unconditional love forever, it was never reciprocated. I look back at the first time we met and started dating, I had doubts, I wasn’t feeling it and shut him out when the abuse started. So I haven’t been in romantic love with WH ever. I love him as a fellow human and father of my children.
I love my friends more. Losing my best friend last August hurt me more. I loved him from the moment we met and even though He is no longer on this Earth I will grieve forever and love him for an eternity. We never cheated. We kept everything platonic yet our love for each other was intense.
I am determined to be honest with any man who may come into my life in he future. I doubt any man could even compare to the love I have for my late best friend 🙏🏼
He was a fellow Buddhist, so I am looking forward to meeting him again next lifetime.
September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼
NEWPERSON ( member #71436) posted at 9:50 AM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020
Please listen to Dr Shefali Tsabary in conversation with Leah Marshall on you-tube , this will help you with healing.
I just left my husband 4 weeks ago because he cheated and weird thing is while I loved him....like ladyG my true love was my first boyfriend who passed on last year(I still cry for him too but I too never crossed the line after I was with my husband because I respected my husband).We had not been together since 2005(met my husband 2006)but still he was the one person who understood me and was kind and really cared for me even when we decided to part ways there was always respect no cruel and meanness .
As for my husband i Loved him as I chose to marry him but he was always mean ,cruel, manipulative and so it was a one sided relationship(if I did not do what he says he would not talk to me for 3 weeks or so)
he hurt badly through the 14 years i WAS WITH HIM BUT EVERYTIME i forgave him and hoped he would change. The final straw was the affair with his PA (who we attended her wedding 2 year before the affair) that crushed me and destroyed my outlook on love but I know one thing if I can love and be honest and be kind then there is a man out there who can be that too. For now I need to heal-I foresee a good 2 years of being alone as I also need to heal my childhood wounds(my dad abandoned me) so I am a people pleaser and that is not good for me because I do not want anyone to leave me ......but guess what I am proud I left my husband because I am now creating boundaries of what I will /or not tolerate.
I hope you get better and claim the life that is meant for you.
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