A longtime friend of mine came to visit us last weekend. When I was going through what my ExWW had done he and his wife were basically newlyweds so he was less than empathetic towards my situation. I knew his situation so I never held his decision to keep my situation at an arm’s length against him.
I had heard that he and his wife had been having problems and I reached out to him a couple times but was told that he was sure they were normal marital problems and nothing to worry about.
After dinner and the kids went to bed we were in the living room, I had sensed most of the night that there was something he wanted to tell me but hadn’t.
He started out by saying that he was sorry for not being available for me when everything had happened and knowing what he knows now he most definitely would have been.
I knew right then what had happened.
I told him that what had happened in the past was in the past and the most important thing was that we were there for each other and talking now.
We talked about his situation and I recommended that he consider joining SI. He is sure that it was an EA only but he is so mad at his WW that she is staying with her mom as he doesn’t want to see or talk to her for a couple weeks. She wants to R and he thinks he wants the same thing.
He went into a diatribe against my ExWW and former best friend that went on for nearly 15 minutes.
Some of the ways he described what he thought of her were ways that I never thought even being on the receiving end of their actions, deceptions and disrespect.
He stated that our former friend deserved to die the way he did and that my ExWW deserved everything that happened to her. She deserved the death of her father, her mental breakdown and losing her child for what she did to me.
My wife, other than saying she was sorry for what he was going through a few times, hadn’t said anything until she said something that I had known but never associated with my ExWW.
My wife said “there is no doubt that what she did with S and how she deceived and hurt the man who is now her H was terrible, just remember that she too was cheated on by S so while they were not yet married she is a BS.”
I have been rather indifferent toward both my ExWW and former best friend for quite a while now but what my wife said gave me pause and had me empathizing with her as a BW/BGF.
Every BS who says I was not the best husband/wife/person needs to know this; after all my ExWW did to me, to her mom and dad, to her son and her friends she still did not deserve to be cheated on. No one does.
