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Newest Member: Sunflower96

Divorce/Separation :
I did it! I moved out

This Topic is Archived
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 5:42 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

Well I can’t believe it! I did it! I’m in my own place and it is so peaceful. The hardest part is not seeing the kids as much because I don’t have internet yet, but getting there. I don’t miss him and that really says a lot.

Of course he made the move as difficult as possible for me we even argued in front of the movers and I was crying for most of it, I am just happy it’s all put behind me now.

What’s interesting is I was never able to be alone when I was younger and feeling alone in the marriage all these years must have really done a number on me because I like being alone right now.

Kids love the new apartment! My son is already decorating his room the way he wants. Me and daughter have to share a room. It’s temporary until I can move back to my home when my renters move out.

Just can’t believe I did it I have overcome my greatest fears.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 11:43 AM, September 11th (Friday)]

fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024

posts: 9075   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8586441
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 5:46 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

I am SO proud of/happy for you!

Onward, SI sister! ((((HUGS))))

2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8905   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8586442
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lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 9:49 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

I'm so happy for you. (((hugs)))

I remember when I moved into my home after I divorced. The feeling of freedom and happiness was incredible. I still enjoy that feeling and it's been 17 years since I moved in.

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22643   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
id 8586552
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maise ( member #69516) posted at 9:58 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

This is so amazing!!!! Congratulations on this move! I’m so happy for you and how far you’ve come in this process!! I used to have a fear of being alone also, lately it doesn’t seem to be present in me anymore either.

BW (SSM) D-Day: 6/9/2018 Status: Divorced

"Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

— Rumi

posts: 980   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: Houston
id 8586556
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 9:59 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

FIST BUMP!!!!!!

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8586557
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DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 10:11 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

YES GIRL!!! You made it!!! I am so happy to read this! Life is getting ready to get a whole lot better! I swear I was floating on air when I moved out. It's so great.

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 5083   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8586563
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 10:11 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

ROCKSTAR!!!! So happy and proud for you!!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6483   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8586564
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 10:57 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

YAS!! So happy for you!!

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3432   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 8586578
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 11:43 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

Congrats! I was worried that he'd be physically abusive when it was time for you to move out. So glad to see your update.

You did it!

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 4566   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8586595
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 11:59 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

Awesome!!!!!

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8586598
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Chili ( member #35503) posted at 1:58 AM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

Holy Crapola - you did it!!!! I know it was a long, hard road for you, so I hope you bask in the courage and strength it took you to stand up for yourself. What a landmark moment. Sending big huge kudos your way.

2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett

posts: 2242   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Reality
id 8586643
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Ripped62 ( member #60667) posted at 2:43 AM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

Congratulations! 🌟🎊🎶🎉🏅

Way to overcome your fears! You are very strong.

(((crazyblindsided)))

May your needs be met and your dreams fulfilled in ways you never thought possible.

posts: 3195   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2017   ·   location: United States of America
id 8586659
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 3:46 AM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

Wow!!!! I am so happy ti read about this. You go girl!!

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 8586675
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pinkpggy ( member #61240) posted at 3:47 AM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

Congrats!! ❤

Happily Divorced

posts: 1916   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2017   ·   location: North Carolina
id 8586676
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skeetermooch ( member #72169) posted at 4:29 AM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

Woot Woot!

CBS, you did it!! You are free!!

I'm so happy for you!!

Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021

posts: 1275   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2019
id 8586686
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Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 4:40 AM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

I'm standing in my living room applauding.

You figured it out. You were alone all along but putting up with a jerk. Being alone is nothing new. It's just way more pleasant. Good for you!

posts: 1736   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 8586689
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phmh ( member #34146) posted at 4:36 PM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

I have been secretly rooting for you to do this for the better part of a decade! So proud of and happy for you! I still remember all the different feelings I had after moving out. You may experience dips, but are on track for creating a life you will love!!!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 8586768
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J707 ( member #63778) posted at 8:21 PM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

Congratulations!! It's a new chapter. It took a little bit of adjusting not having my kids everyday. You'll adjust, trust me. I've even taken a day off here or there when they aren't here to do absolutely nothing (recharge) or to plan a solo adventure. This is your new chapter, enjoy the peace, yourself and your kids.

posts: 1113   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8586832
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OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 9:09 PM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

Congratulations!!!!

me: BS/WS h: WS/BS

Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.

posts: 5911   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2016   ·   location: Midwest
id 8586852
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 5:23 PM on Sunday, September 13th, 2020

Thank you so much! I am doing surprisingly well. I just needed to trust myself and the process and it all worked out. Really the hardest part was coming to the decision to leave and his harassment of me. He is leaving me alone thankfully and I am really enjoying being with myself and exploring my new life on my own.

Last night my daughter and her friend made Halloween cookies here and son was talking on his phone with friends until midnight. The kids are alright

fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024

posts: 9075   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8587062
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