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Newest Member: Crushedafter46years

Reconciliation :
Thankful Thursday

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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 11:14 PM on Thursday, September 8th, 2022

I'm thankful for football and that my latest beer turned out well. Tonight, I will watch the opener and have a homebrew.

I need to try this, I’m liking beer suddenly. Going to the tap house and trying different ones. I will be watching football tonight. Ozzy is the halftime show, I’m an old headbanger.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8754437
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 2:49 PM on Saturday, September 10th, 2022

This is late for Thankful Thursday, but I realized this morning that one of the things I’m grateful for is the advent of fall.

This is new, because I’ve never been a person who loved fall. I’ve always felt intensely alive and grateful for the first signs of spring, and summer is my absolute favorite. I love everything outdoors—gardening, swimming, hiking, camping, paddle boarding, mowing, yard work, etc. I don’t mind heat, and my break schedule as a teacher enhances my love for summer. The coming of fall always felt a little like death to me and made me feel sad.

My husband’s January to July affair two years ago, and the death of a beloved family member less than two weeks after D-day have cast a pall over my favorite season for the last three years. I still love and appreciate spring and summer, but they come with a certain weight of memory and sadness.

I woke up early this morning and went out on the porch with my coffee, and for the first time I can ever remember I felt real joy at the prospect of fall. I made plans to have a fire in our fire pit tonight, and I grabbed a hoodie and felt happy and cozy. I don’t like the circumstances that changed my perspective on the seasons, but I sure am grateful for this unexpected excitement and happiness.

Married for 20 years with two kids when my husband had a six month affair with a coworker. DD1: 6/2020. DD2: 7/3/2020. Reconciling

posts: 276   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8754717
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 4:22 PM on Thursday, September 15th, 2022

Grieving...this cooler weather is AWESOME grin !!

My H and I have been sharing a lot of jokes lately...mostly private jokes that only we would understand...or think is funny laugh . I realized how much I MISSED that type of intimacy between us. It had actually been missing before he had his PA...but it was because he was having multiple OA's for about 2 years before. I guess he didn't have the energy...or just forgot that he hadn't said a particular joke to me rolleyes . Not anymore grin !!

TODAY...I'm so THANKFUL for the little things my H and I share smile . Little jokes...little looks...little touches that in reality...are pretty BIG grin .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8755393
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 4:29 PM on Thursday, September 15th, 2022

I'm very thankful that my sons are doing well at the start of the school year. It's been hard for them through COVID and the return to a normal school schedule has been great for them.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2173   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8755394
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 6:39 PM on Thursday, September 15th, 2022

We had a great weekend at the body building competition. I cannot even begin to explain how much hard work goes into it.

My W did not place in her class (45 over) there were 8 very strong contestants, I told her "you might not have placed, but you still won that MFer!!!" She came a long way in her fitness journey.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8755404
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:48 PM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

Gooooooood Thankful Thursday Morning everyone grin !!

This0is0Fine...I am so HAPPY to see that your sons are doing well in school smile .

Tanner...anyone putting that much EFFORT into a competition like that is definitely a WINNER smile . But hey...with all the EFFORT y'all have put into rebuilding y'alls M...Y'ALL can see for yourselves what it feels like to WIN at surviving infidelity grin !!! Y'all are now THRIVING!!!

TODAY...I am actually THANKFUL for something that happened a few days ago smile . I went to pick up an item for my H's business from a man my H has talked very highly about. I told him that it was so nice to finally put a face to his name...and how nicely my H has talked about him smile . It kind of caught him off guard...and his secretary made some kind of joke about him not being all that nice laugh . The guy...trying to be funny and to get the talking off of HIM...blurted out that this was odd because my H said nothing but HORRIBLE things about me. I started laughing...a GENUINE laugh...and said that I KNEW that wasn't the truth laugh !! We all laughed about it before he brought the item to my car for me smile .

As I was driving home I thought more about what the guy said. For so many YEARS after Dday...I often felt that my H thought/said horrible things about me. How could he NOT...he CHEATED on me!!! But THAT day...I KNEW he didn't grin . He actually had that as one of the "rules" with the adultery co-conspirator...that she would never say anything negative about ME. What he didn't think about was how DISRESPECTFUL they BOTH were to me...just by having sex crying .

Like I often say on here...that was THEN. This is NOW. And NOW is what COUNTS grin !! I am so THANKFUL that I genuinely KNOW that my H is NOT thinking OR saying horrible things about me grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8756514
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 3:20 PM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

I am thankful for my good friend and her dogs and all the dogs at the local dog park. It is lovely to see the dogs all cavorting joyfully together and be able to drink a tea with her.

I am weirldy grateful my daughter felt sick to her stomach this morning and stsyed home from school with me. We are doing face masks weve been meaning to do and relaxing together on the couch. Maybe we will paint nails later.

I love being able to work from home.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 895   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8756519
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 3:40 PM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

So much good stuff there Cuzin, I really do feel we are thriving right now. The roller coaster is running out of momentum. One thing in realized recently is, I will never go back to full trust with my W, but I’m confident that her guard rails are firmly in place. It’s funny a friend in a group said the same the same recently, "your W was talking shit about you". I laughed and said I know better than that. Everyone one around laughed because she wouldn’t do that.

Thankful for the first day of Fall, but it’s almost 100 today 😩

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8756524
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 7:52 PM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

Let me add to that. For me Thursday is the new Friday, I just got a yes for a day drinking date in a local downtown area tomorrow. So hold my calls, we are going out!!!

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8756566
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 10:13 PM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

I am thankful for the sunrise I got to witness this morning.

I work from home and happened to look outside my office window this morning. It was overcast and the weather was about to turn to shit but enough sunrise managed to poke through to turn the clouds that cool pinkish color. It remained me of something I read once. We spend so much time rushing around, worrying about this or that, that we never stop and just enjoy a sunrise.

It was an awesome meteorological event, right sis? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Me -FWS

posts: 1984   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8756576
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 10:26 PM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

What a wonderful mix of things to be thankful about. ❤️

Today I’m thankful for the colleague who leads after school yoga in her room for any staff member in the building who wants to come. The scheduled day never worked for me in years past because I coach two days a week, but this year it’s a different day and I went for the first time today. It was wonderful to unwind and work out with other teachers who know just how challenging the job is but who are also trying to prioritize health and well-being. It was perfect.

Married for 20 years with two kids when my husband had a six month affair with a coworker. DD1: 6/2020. DD2: 7/3/2020. Reconciling

posts: 276   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8756579
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 12:49 AM on Friday, September 23rd, 2022

ff4152, I'm more of a sunset guy, but sunrises can be good too. I'm running during sunrise in the morning on weekdays for a month or so which is nice!

I'm thankful for my job today. I have been very stressed at work, but I have been doing well enough. I finished a major deliverable on Tuesday and am feeling some relief. I actually really believe in the work I do, and I'm compensated well. I understand that not everyone is so lucky to both get to do what they love and make decent money doing it. So I'm very thankful.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2173   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8756597
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 3:18 PM on Friday, September 23rd, 2022

MIgander...ENJOY those times with your children...they grow up WAY too fast!!!

Tanner...it was in the 90's here Cuz...but we are supposed to get a cool front next week smile . We will see what that development out in the Gulf is going to do to us though. Thankfully the water in the Gulf is getting cooler too...so hopefully it won't develop into much!!

ff4152... laugh laugh laugh . YOUR meteorological event is MY masterpiece from God little brother grin !! You'll see it too one day...you were always the STUBBORN one in the family laugh !!!

Grieving...that sounds so AWESOME grin !! Teachers have such a great heart for GIVING to others. I am so HAPPY you get to have something that is PERFECT for you smile .

This0is0Fine...what a BLESSING it is for you to have a job like that grin ! The sunsets down here are pretty awesome as well. To ME...either one...sunrise or sunset just shows me that there is NO greater artist than God smile . So MANY beautiful masterpieces to ENJOY grin !!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8756737
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Hannah47 ( member #80116) posted at 4:00 PM on Thursday, September 29th, 2022

I’m thankful that I've finally decided to post in this thread.

I’m also thankful for the music – a perfect companion in every situation.

posts: 134   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2022
id 8757515
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 4:13 PM on Thursday, September 29th, 2022

Oooooo...I LOVE to see posts on this thread grin !!

Hannah47...I am so HAPPY to see you posting in this thread smile . I hope it won't be the last grin !!

Today...as I am watching the devastation from Hurrican Ian...and praying for these poor souls...I am reminded of another "I" hurricane...Ida...which devastated my area last year. Although I will NEVER be thankful for hurricanes...I am so THANKFUL today when I think of the outpouring of so MANY people who came to our aid last year. We never saw so many different license plates...from almost every state...with people using their TIME to come and give us comfort. I can see the HELPERS already going in to help the people who were in the path of this terrible storm in Florida. To those on here who are in shock from what Ian has done to your area...please hang on...HELP is on its way.

I am so THANKFUL for the HELPERS grin !! Y'all have NO IDEA how MUCH of an impact it makes to those who for one reason or another are unable to think straight at times like this.

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8757518
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 4:35 PM on Thursday, September 29th, 2022

I'm thankful my brother can come visit with his family. We are going to a concert tonight too. 🤘🤘

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2173   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8757521
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 4:46 PM on Thursday, September 29th, 2022

Thankful for the good folks here on SI and the good counseling I'm able to receive. Ya'll have given me a lot of good perspective, good questions and each bring something unique to the table here.

Thankful for a coffee shop where I can just get OUT of the house.

Thankful for having my dog (always!) and snuggles with kids and a 12yo son who still puts his head in my lap when I'm reading to him (yeah, we do that still grin ) and loves it when I scratch his head. He'll be 18 soon enough and going off to college, but I hope he's never too old to do a book club with mom! Daughter too- we read lots together at bedtime too.

Thankful it's fall and I have yet another sweater of H's to steal. It's like a tradition. Ever year he has a sweater he never wears and I like, so I swipe it laugh . This one is the one I got him for Christmas last year... maybe I'm subconsciously buying him sweaters I want to wear rolleyes laugh .

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 895   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8757524
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 5:00 PM on Thursday, September 29th, 2022

I’m thankful for all the first responders that are ready to converge and clean up Florida. I saw the Cajun Navy was at the ready. I’m so thankful to not live in a hurricane zone, we get the occasional tornado but we live in a sweet spot here in N Texas. I pray for all those affected.

2 of my childhood friends are in a local band together. They have a gig not far from us Saturday night, but my W and I rarely get to go out at night because of our Sons special needs. We can’t just get a sitter, it takes someone that knows him and he will respond to. Our neighbor has told us to go and she’s got it covered for us. We are so excited to get to do this.

Of course this means my W trying on everything in the closet like a fashion show, my other neighbors doing her hair and makeup, and trip to nail shop.

I’m thankful I can roll in 15 minutes before we leave, change clothes, fix hair and look just as good laugh

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8757525
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 11:54 PM on Saturday, October 1st, 2022

Two years ago today, W2BHA started this thread. It really started at the right time for me, I was transitioning out of shock and anger and into healing. It was the first time I could have some fun on SI. Before this thread everything I was reading or involved in was heart break and pain. I have a great sense of humor and that was lost on Dday. I needed laugh and joke again because infidelity had taken too much already. I was glad to introduce some humor back into this mess.

I’ve had a lot of fun on this thread and it challenges me every week to find something to be thankful for.

I’m also thankful for you W2BHA, my friend, my Cooozan. I got to know you here and you really moved our R forward. I learned so much about handling triggers and that damn lizard brain.

This is a day to be celebrated for the Tanner family. Thanks to everyone that contributes here.

Emoji blast in your honor
smile grin sad wink crying rolleyes

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8757908
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:12 AM on Sunday, October 2nd, 2022

Aww shaa...I had NO IDEA this thread was started 2 years ago TODAY shocked . Thanks for that Coozann Tan...you are too sweet...that runs on our Moms side of the family wink !!!

The first time I saw a "Thankful Thursday" thread on here...it was from a poster with a really cool name...theamazingWondertwin smile . The MC told her and her WH to think about 3 things they were thankful for about each other so that they could discuss this at the next weekly meeting. She thought this was a nice idea for this site...and started it...and I LOVED it grin !! Sadly...their M didn't work out sad . I haven't seen her on here in years...but I HOPE that she is now happy and at PEACE in her new life smile .

Her thread inspired me to keep doing a "Thankful Thursday" thread every now and then...but THIS one has lasted...mainly because of YOU Tanner grin !! There are many more who try to add to this thread every week...and I sure look forward to seeing ALL of the posts smile .

It has been such a JOY watching you and your lovely wife navigate this healing path that y'all are on smile . I feel very HONORED to be able to call y'all FRIEND...and hey...now we are FAMILY grin !! Thanks for those cool emojis Cuz grin !!!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8757915
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