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I'm so sorry, J707. One of my kids went through a dark time, too. The terror and helplessness of watching your child in that kind of pain is indescribable. You and your family are in my thoughts.

J707: What help are you getting for yourself?

As a parent, it is right and proper to do the best you can to support your children, but that doesn't mean you neglect taking care of yourself at the same time.

Besides AD's, do you have a plan for counseling for yourself? A support system in place? Non-destructive activities to distract your mind?

If you fall apart in the process of taking care of her, you can't provide the support in the long term.

Breathe. Eat. Drink water. Exercise, if that's your thing.

J707: What help are you getting for yourself?

As a parent, it is right and proper to do the best you can to support your children, but that doesn't mean you neglect taking care of yourself at the same time.

Besides AD's, do you have a plan for counseling for yourself? A support system in place? Non-destructive activities to distract your mind?

If you fall apart in the process of taking care of her, you can't provide the support in the long term.

Breathe. Eat. Drink water. Exercise, if that's your thing.

I haven't slept much. I'm eating and drinking my water intake. I've set up IC for my DS19 (his past counselor) and in the works for myself with IC as well as my exww for how to deal with this. I have resources available. I know I'm not good. So I'm doing what I do. Getting things in order to better myself. I'll be good even though I'm not now. My mom, as all moms do, is my my rock and guidance. She is here helping me through this all. I'll be ok. I have my coping mechanisms to rely on.

Sending you strength, sir, and all the mojo I can spare.

I didn't have much to offer as far as advice before, but I have some now.

First, as others have suggested, be sure to take care of yourself. This is critical and it seems like your prior SI training has helped you there. So, at this point, keep it up.

Second, start planning for your daughter's medical care RIGHT NOW for when she leaves the hospital.

The goal of in-patient psychiatry is to get your daughter safe from harming herself or from harming others. I was required to set up an appointment with a therapist before I was discharged, but they waived this when I couldn't find a therapist (I signed up for a couple of waiting lists, though).

Personally, I'd recommend getting her set up with both a therapist and a psychiatrist. In my case, I was placed on meds that did not agree with me. I would have been in a lot of trouble if I had not already had standing appointments with my psychiatrist.

In some cases, it might take months to get into see a psychiatrist, so I would try and set that up now if you haven't already.

And, again, I am sorry. This is really difficult. Bro hugs, my friend.

Second, start planning for your daughter's medical care RIGHT NOW for when she leaves the hospital.

Yes. The hospital might require it but if not see about working together with you to get DD appropriate therapy. idk about the US, here the psychiatrist isn't just a med dispenser but also does the talk therapy. You can't get psych meds from a gp (here).

But if psychiatrists don't do talk therapy where you are, it would still be helpful to have one (who specializes in adolescents) on your DD's case to carefully monitor her meds. ADs with teens are tricky, you need a specialist.

Keep taking care of yourself, and just ride the wave.

((((J707))))

[This message edited by ZenMumWalking at 2:30 PM, October 20th (Tuesday)]

So once she is ready to be discharged, she will be doing an Intensive outpatient program following. The psychiatric hospital and Kaiser work together to have her set up for a therapist and a psychiatrist to see. They will have a plan for exw and I for the aftermath of what to expect and how to handle all this. I've got my son set up for IC as well.

I’m so sorry. Praying for your precious daughter .

The psychiatric hospital and Kaiser work together to have her set up for a therapist and a psychiatrist to see.

This is all very encouraging, especially for the USA.

I am glad to hear that all of you, especially your daughter, are getting such good care.

idk about the US, here the psychiatrist isn't just a med dispenser but also does the talk therapy. You can't get psych meds from a gp.

My psychiatrist didn't do talk therapy but she strongly encouraged it (i.e., she said that it was more important than the meds that she was prescribing). You can get some psych meds from general practitioners, but not much beyond really common antidepressants.

I definitely recommend both medication (under the supervision of a doctor) and talk therapy. Please also note that I wouldn't have said that during the first year or so of my battle with depression... and I was totally wrong.

I definitely recommend both medication (under the supervision of a doctor) and talk therapy.

I have read that this combination is definitely the most effective. I hope your DD finds it effective and a way to get out of the darkness and into the light.

Thinking of you and yours during this very trying time.

Cat

If I may vent: I'm pissed

My daughter talked about (in writing) cutting herself. Hanging herself. Taking pills. I'm getting lock boxes for any medicine, knives, scissors etc. Atleast for now once shes released. Nothing big or anything she may notice. My ex has a studio with her BF next to my kids house. So she doesn't sleep in the same household as my kids. I recommended that she needs to be with her after this. I'm controlling her life now supposedly.

My fucking exww doesn't see any reason for all this. That DD needs to go back to normal and have normalcy. Fucking really? Uh. That didn't work. I'm sorry. Wtf! Just go back to normal. This isn't a normal situation. My ex has come full throttle of I'm trying to tell her what to do and control her. This is about are daughter who tried to kill herself. That's it.

I know who I'm dealing with. She's an idiot with absolutely sense of everything that just happened. It was there for the weekend. But now. It's back to the ole narcissistic bullshit. Fuck you!

For me. I'm holding my ground. Taking care of my son and I. This is a rollercoaster of emotions and she brought on the unnecessary anger.

I have been wondering if I can in any way contribute to your situation other than offer you my thoughts and prayers. You have those and have had for a couple of days anyways.

However – your last post…

Sometimes we just have to stand up and do our duty. Meet our obligations. If your ex is not showing the correct support… well… so be it. You do what you can do and is within your control. Be there for your daughter – as you have been. What your ex does… well… that’s hers.

Thanks Bigger. I'm on a SI rollercoaster with all this as far as emotions. I recognize that. She has retracted her statements since the last conversations in a blame game. She is on board because the psychiatrists said so, not me. Cool. I don't care.

I know I can only handle my side. I know who exww is. This will be a burden though. Especially with my recommendations.

A little update on DD. I've talked to her a few times now. She has always been softly spoken. She still is but is opening up little by little. The psychiatrist gave me a lot of info on what to expect upon discharge. She will most likely be discharged early next week. Then she will go to intensive outpatient program, see an IC and psychiatrist. Exww and I are on good terms with following through with the aftermath and how to deal with all this.

I'm exhausted. My sleep schedule is all messed up. I know I need to get myself together and I'm trying. I have IC set up for myself and my son. Ex and I will also see someone. Antidepressants come in today. Eating is hard but I am little by little. Trauma has been part of my adult life off and on. This is another one. For me, I'm digging deep and trying not to go down the rabbit hole. My daughter is safe. Shes is getting the help and meds she needs. I may have mentioned some of this before. But this is where we are at.

Then she will go to intensive outpatient program, see an IC and psychiatrist.

This is exactly what my DS had, although IC and psychiatrist was the same person, which is usual in my country.

I know the hit this is taking on you and I am so sorry. It will take some time before you start feeling safe yourself. I'm so happy though that you are taking all the right steps.

I'm sending out strength and positive, healing thoughts to you all. This is a long road.

((((J707 & DD))))

I'm so sorry.

Please be aware that when the anti depressants begin to work, very often a month to six weeks after starting, the individual may appear to be feeling better, more energetic, happier.

Please watch your daughter closely at this time. It's not unusual for them to attempt again at this time.

This is just so upsetting to read, J. I haven't read all the comments, but have read your posts here. I have heard and read how much all of this year's events have affected everyone, but been so much harder on teens and children. Last night on the news they said half -HALF- of all teenagers in this country have considered or attempted suicide in this!

Families in your area have had much more to deal with than the pandemic and you and your family are still dealing with what brought you here. None of it, alone, is easy to navigate. You all have a lot to overcome.

You are doing great by both of your kids and it sounds like for yourself, too. Good thoughts and HUGS for you all getting through this.

My heart goes out to you and your family, especially to DD13. She has so much to live for, as do virtually all of us - I hope she sees that soon.

I'm so glad her attempt failed.

Mojo sent.

Hang in there. You are doing great given the traumatic circumstances.

I’m late coming in J707 but I want to send you strength and prayers for you and your DD and entire family. Very sorry that this has happened.