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Off Topic :
I need a safe. Anyone have a suggestion?

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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 7:10 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

I think I may have too many parameters and what I have in mind doesn’t exist.

-not the huge ones that hold long guns

-to be kept in my bedroom

-large enough to not be carried off

-large enough for legal papers and a small box of jewelry and other sentimental stuff

-small enough to be discrete?

Yeah, I don’t think it exists.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8600010
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somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 7:48 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

..under the mattress works for me!!

I'm wondering if 'important papers' should be kept hidden, but available to others in your circle of trust.

jewelry is made to be worn and appreciated for its beauty and sparkle. Why not leave it out to enjoy, even if you're not wearing it?

It's insured no doubt for theft or loss.

If you owned the Mona Lisa, would you lock it up in a vault? ..or hang it up in the living room?

Once you have one, who also must have access if you keel over??

Personally, I keep all my valuables in the back of my underwear drawer..

No break-ins so far!

smy

P.S. ...have you considered a safety deposit box at your bank?

[This message edited by somanyyears at 1:53 PM, October 20th (Tuesday)]

trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!

posts: 6080   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Ontario Canada
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:04 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

Absolutely. We have 2 that use a key code sar to what they have on hotel rooms. But bigger.

They are so heavy it would take a very strong determined man or 2 to run off with it.

So heavy in fact one warped a solid oak shelf in our master closet. Look up Sentry Safe.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8600034
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 8:06 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

smy...I love your posts!

I will probably put important papers with a lawyer or something. But, like I have power of attorney for my H, and I need it from time to time.

Well, a girl can’t wear every piece of jewelry every day. And I can’t let mine lie around to “sparkle”. It ends up gone. And no, not insured. My stuff is mostly fun and / or sentimental. Just a couple that are worth anything.

I would never own the Mona Lisa - that smile creeps me out. But definitely hanging. But if I could afford that, I could afford one hell of a security system.

My H and sister would have access. Period. And me!

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
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hcsv ( member #51813) posted at 8:12 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

I have a combination safe bolted to the floor in my closet. It's not getting opened or hauled away by anyone and will survive a fire. A locksmith installed it. Since the divorce, it remains empty. Tells you what I got in the divorce!!!! LOL

Call a locksmith and see what your options are.

[This message edited by hcsv at 2:17 PM, October 20th (Tuesday)]

After 40 years, ex turned into someone I didnt know and couldnt trust anymore. Divorced. 1/17

posts: 774   ·   registered: Feb. 14th, 2016
id 8600039
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 8:15 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

Thanks tush...I’ll check that out.

The real issue...

Sadly, one of my kids steals - or at least used to.

Really badly. My H’s meds, bank card to transfer $$$, jewelry. Stuff like my parents wedding rings (from my sister).

I have recently “misplaced” my 30 year wedding set and a really pretty dinner ring my parents gave me. When I asked about it, my son’s reaction was very different from what it has always been in the past. He simply said it wasn’t him, and told me he was sure it would turn up. In the past he has ALWAYS been overly defensive. I always give the benefit of the doubt, but I am hugely crushed about these 2 rings

Of course, in reference to my other thread, it is possible I misplaced them...after all, I did recently misplace my toe rings in my H’s colon! 🙄

I know I will get blasted for this, but I will not turn in my son.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8600045
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 8:17 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

hcfv...that sounds perfect! I have a slab foundation. Can they bolt it into that?

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8600048
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hcsv ( member #51813) posted at 8:49 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

I don't see why not, pre-drilled holes and they should be good to go.

After 40 years, ex turned into someone I didnt know and couldnt trust anymore. Divorced. 1/17

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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 9:01 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

Can you share the brand?

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8600072
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 10:38 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

Yeah, bolted and heavy, and if not heavy enough by itself buy some weights to put in it.

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8600118
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 10:46 PM on Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

Putting weights in. What a good idea.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

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id 8600122
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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 12:26 AM on Wednesday, October 21st, 2020

I venture that if someone broke into your home with the goal of stealing your safe, he would get away with it given he had enough time no matter what safe you buy.

What you want to thwart is the opportunistic burglar. Even with a crowbar or angle-grinder it’s highly unlikely that sort of perpetrator would risk the time and noise to loosen the safe from the floor or even could loosen it.

I would go for a safe that can be bolted to the floor or wall. If the documents are really important consider the fire-resistance, but generally there is direct correlation between the security, sturdiness and overall “safety” of the safe and the price.

Also keep in mind that documents gain value by being in a safe. Your documents might be safer in a file beside the home-accounts. After all – what would a burglar do with your letter of attorney for your husband? That opportunistic burglar is after easy money.

Speaking frankly – if your son is a major concern then also keep in mind he can spend some hours when you are out figuring any code-combination. See if there is any form of anti-tampering security so you can monitor if there have been some attempts since you last opened. Most biometric or combination safes have a key-bypass. Your son has all the time in the world to find the bypass key, so you already have the hassle of keeping a key safe.

Just in case you are considering keeping a home-security handgun in the safe: Don’t.

Get a purpose-built gun-safe for the home-defense gun. There is a totally different criteria for opening a safe to store documents and trinkets when you have ample time and light and the criteria to opening a safe when you hear something go bump in the night in darkness and stress.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

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million pieces ( member #27539) posted at 12:49 AM on Wednesday, October 21st, 2020

I have a small safe that is heavy, but not impossible to move. But I got one for mainly documents. It is fire and water proof, so it would survive a house fire. They definitely had ones that you could bolt in the floor.

Me - 52 D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later, Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 1:41 AM on Wednesday, October 21st, 2020

No. Definitely no gun.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

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hcsv ( member #51813) posted at 2:15 AM on Wednesday, October 21st, 2020

Gardall is the brand

After 40 years, ex turned into someone I didnt know and couldnt trust anymore. Divorced. 1/17

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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:26 AM on Wednesday, October 21st, 2020

I had a medium sized one, fire safe. Yeah.. not really fire safe. They are fire safe for an hour or two. (My neighbor’s gun safe was just metal parts after the fire.. everything burned inside it— self combusted.)

Great for storing documents and stuff, and very heavy, but don’t believe them about the fires.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

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number4 ( member #62204) posted at 5:01 AM on Wednesday, October 21st, 2020

Have you thought about getting a safe deposit box for your really important documents that you don't need to access often? For the things you do need to access often, can you keep the original in the safe deposit box and keep copies in your home?

We keep our passports, birth certificates (ours as well as our adult kids), marriage license, social security cards, originals of will/trusts, HCPOA papers, deed to the house, etc. That way, if you still want to keep some valuables in a fire-proof safe in your house, you can, without worrying what happens to important papers if you have a fire, or someone does manage to steal the safe, find a key, or figure out the combination. Another thing I keep in our safe deposit box at the bank is a document that lists all of our online accounts and passwords. That way, if anything happens to both me and H, once one of our kids gets into the safe deposit box, they will have access to all of our accounts. I try to print out a copy of the document once a year (it gets updated a few times a year with new passwords as needed, and new accounts as they are created) and replace it. I also made copies of all the contents of my wallet, front and back, and those are in the safe deposit box, in case my wallet is ever stolen. After H's wallet was stolen from our home during a robbery six years ago (yes, we were at home, upstairs in bed when he broke in), we realized how hard it was to try to remember exactly everything that was in his wallet until we had to start making phone calls to cancel stuff. The hardest one was his work-issued credit card - because it was work-issued, we never got statements at home, so had no contact information in our house. It can be a mess.

Just some thoughts.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1433   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 8:05 AM on Wednesday, October 21st, 2020

Wow.

I am so unorganized compared to you!

All fabulous ideas.

I’m feeling fine, but lately I realize how unorganized I am. My H took care of all those things, but now it’s on me. And it is overwhelming.

I am normally OCD, but not so much about paperwork.

Forewarned!

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
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number4 ( member #62204) posted at 4:10 AM on Thursday, October 22nd, 2020

Believe me, it's been my observations both in my work as a hospice chaplain, and in my own family the extremes on the continuum that people fall when it comes to being prepared for a crisis. We probably fall in the middle of being prepared... enough for me, my H, or our kids to find what we need if something tragic happens (or should I say when, because it will eventually) and be able to move forward.

I also watched how different it was when my mom died in 2004 with everything pretty much exactly in order and people knew where papers were, etc., as opposed to my 67-year old brother (a widow with no children) who died from alcoholism in early 2018 with a nice estate, and how my other brother had to work through everything to get the assets doled out - evidently, the estate still is not closed; it has involved a LOT of detective work! If something happens to H that requires my attention to HCPOA, or wills/trusts, I don't want to have to go looking for stuff; I want to know exactly where all those papers are, and that they're safe from fire/water/earthquakes, etc.

I've seen people who were given a terminal diagnosis not be able to function well enough to get their papers in order, leading to the family trying to do it for them, and family freaking out because now they're dealing with a lot of legal/nostalgic stuff while grieving the diagnosis their loved one has just been given. Man, I am SOOO thankful no one has ever designated me as their executor, other than H. I only want to go through that once in my life, if at all.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

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josiep ( member #58593) posted at 12:25 AM on Sunday, October 25th, 2020

It might be a better idea to hide the jewelry pieces individually in a lot of different places so if it would never all be found at once.

There are fake electric outlet covers that hold items.

Pull off the baseboard under the kitchen sink and hide things under the cabinet.

My in-laws had a new hearth installed by their fireplace and the top looked like brick but was actually one big solid lid that covered a storage area below.

In-laws had a soffit over their kitchen cabinets. He cut the end so that he could pop it off and had that whole space as storage.

There are fake cleaning products that hold small items such as rings, etc. Just hide it in plain site in the cleaning cabinet.

Put some pieces in a ziploc bag and tape it to the back of the toilet.

Install a hook on the inside of your closet above the door and hang a bag of jewelry from it.

One of the favorite jewelry hiding things I saw was what looked like a tank top on a hanger but under the fabric was jewelry storage. Hang a sweater or blazer over the top and it makes a pretty good disguise.

Under the dirt of a potted plant (in a sturdy ziploc bag, of course).

Papers can be sewn into the bottom hems of draperies. On the underside of the dining room chairs.

I've also seen people tape things to the inside of their vacuum cleaner, next to the bag. If sonny boy never vacuums, that would be pretty safe. :)

And then, of course, buy a small safe and put it in your closet and see how long it lasts. I'm afraid that putting the big one in just tells everyone that you have stuff worth hiding. Friends of mine had a big one that was all bolted down in the back of their closet. A family member got some friends to come help her and they got it out and stole everything.

Oh, the other idea was inside a stuffed animal or doll.

BW, was 67; now 74; M 45 yrs., T 49 yrs.DDay#1, 1982; DDay#2, May, 2017. D July, 2017

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