SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hire a PI and have her followed, you should get your answer quickly, or go to her place of employment during lunch hours and watch from a distance, if she's being picked up then again you should have your answer quickly, don't forget the VARs.

I still think the Messenger offline timing is extremely weak and honestly I don’t see that you have the “proof” some mention.

You have indicators. You have red flags that need to be checked, but anyone telling you that you have more is reading something that isn’t there from your lines. I would not want to base potentially life-altering decision on such a weak base.

The white truck? Definitely something to look into. Just keep in mind white is the most common color with over 30% of all trucks (irrespective of brand or make) being white.

Do you have any chance of monitoring her during lunch? Is there any way you could borrow a colleagues car to sit outside her place of work and try to catch her?

Do you know OM truck type and model?

Do you know OM? Does your wife know you know OM? As in are you all acquaintances or in the same social group? If you were to ask your wife what she was doing in Fred’s truck would she know you know who Fred is?

Are you two in any way stuck home due to covid? This might open some investigative suggestions.

Messenger logs are saved centrally so if she has Messenger on the phone she leaves open to you then have you tried looking at her logs and past conversations?

If they are meeting, then at what times do you think it is? Other than lunch are there times she’s not at work but not at home? Like does she claim to go jogging or the gym?

If she had a burner phone then where would she be likely to hide it?

Does she have her own vehicle? Have you searched it?

Considered placing VAR’s in places where she might be contacting OM?

Keep in mind that if he’s not married then he has the ability to a) talk to her whenever she wants to talk and b) have her over to his place. So if your wife is hanging out at the end of the garden on her phone or spends an hour in the bathroom it could be to talk to him.

Keep a couple of things in mind:

Investigate to discover the truth – not to discover an affair. Maybe the truth is an affair and then that is what you discover, but don’t go searching specifically for an affair.

If after a certain reasonable time you don’t find anything suspicious then maybe there is nothing going on.

-----------

edited to add:

If you have free access to her phone you might search for and install a silent tracker app on her phone. Maybe use the weekend to download and test on your phone: want one that is relatively unobtrusive, quiet and not noticeable.

Look – IF there is an affair going on and IF it’s this WhiteTruck OM and IF he’s single then there are some assumptions we can make:

He can have her at his place for sex (if it has gotten that far). Why take the chance of being picked up by cops for making out in the truck or paying money for a motel if the home is empty 20 minutes away?

He can be contacted whenever she wants to call – this matters in that she will initiate calls and therefore you seek places she feels safe talking in.

With a tracker in place on her phone then if she leaves work for lunch you can head directly to his home-address or follow the tracker.

[This message edited by Bigger at 9:30 AM, November 20th (Friday)]

@fooled13years- how do i find a members thread. I looked all through just found out and do not see donegone. Is it maybe in another forum?

@newlife03 - Ive spent many hours trying to get intel on a lunch date she might had planned. But where her work is, it is almost damn near impossible to get clear views without being spotted with it sitting on a hill and being blocked by trees. I have even thought about getting a better quality drone ans seeing if that would work out. Be nice to know if its been done and if it worked.

Buster123 - i wish i could afford a PI. If i could, i wouldve done it along time ago.

@bigger - yes I know the other person and she knows i know him. Ive searched and searched for a burner phone. Is there anything that can help locate one.

Update: I actually messaged him just to see what he had been up to. Made alot of small chit chat. Knowing he'd been through 2 divorces, I asked how his love life was going and he said hed been seeing this girl he dated in school 30 years ago. He said she ended his 4 year dry spell.

Now heres the catch, 30 years ago is how long ago it was when they dated.

Believe it or not a man suspected his wife was cheating, put a drone in the air and followed her as she was almost getting in the car with a man. He stopped it and she admitted that it was an almost done deal. Somehow they repaired their marriage.

Can you park your car out of sight a few blocks away and observe on foot?

Or since you know who the OM is, go to his place around lunch and follow him.

Find out who his current GF is.

Note: does he have a social media account? If so, he may have pictures of his GF posted.

[This message edited by Robert22205https at 1:33 PM, November 29th (Sunday)]

Wait...so you called the person you think your spouse is cheating with and you think they admitted to you that they are "seeing" your spouse?

Update: I actually messaged him just to see what he had been up to. Made alot of small chit chat. Knowing he'd been through 2 divorces, I asked how his love life was going and he said hed been seeing this girl he dated in school 30 years ago. He said she ended his 4 year dry spell.

DoneGone's thread:

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=557162&AP=1&HL=

(I don't know how to find it in SI, used google).

He knew why you called. He was flaunting it in your face.

I do not see the resemblance to DoneGone’s story. DG had quite clear strong indicators that there was an affair going on, followed by a long period of getting proof. Here we have weak indicators that require more investigation.

He’s only flaunting it in his face IF there is an affair.

25yearsin – you have already gotten a number of suggestions on how to proceed. PI’s out of the question so why not follow the other advice. Have you placed the tracker in her phone? The VAR in her vehicle? Made arrangements to be outside her work at lunch?

If you can’t hang out her workplace during lunchtime, you can hang around near (the potential) OM’s place during lunch time.

It’s a long shot, the best guess would be at the beginning of her lunch time, and maybe the day that coworker spotted her getting in the pickup (in case it’s a regular “Tuesday” thing).

A tracker on her phone is better.

How are things going? I hope you're doing ok.

If you can't go the PI route, go with the Var in the Car. Put it under her passenger seat and you will hear their conversations.

That usually works well. They think they're alone in the car, and she can speak freely. Good luck, you're definitely on to something. Trust your gut

Dont you have a white truck? I said no ma'am, just this silver one. And she said i swear ive seen you picking her up at lunch in a white one.

Someone was trying really hard to let you in on a secret.

I also agree that the OM was rubbing it in your face. Usually, I try not to jump to conclusions on "thin" evidence, but a man is picking your wife up from work for lunch and she has failed to mention it (if I go to lunch with anyone, I generally tell my WH, as it's just part of "how was your day"-type talk). I'd say a little lunch-time stakeout is in order. Randomly ask her to meet you for lunch on a couple of different days. If she says, "gosh hun, I'd love to, but I have a meeting" or something like that, you know a potential day to stake out the OM's house...

Dont you have a white truck? I said no ma'am, just this silver one. And she said i swear ive seen you picking her up at lunch in a white one.

Someone was trying really hard to let you in on a secret.

Yes, that seems obvious. Is this a person that you could perhaps cultivate an acquaintance? She seems as if she'd like to be useful. Coworkers often loath people who cheat. They talk about them and resent the hell out of them.