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Reconciliation :
This has literally shaped our marriage

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happy

 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 4:47 PM on Wednesday, May 19th, 2021

I have often talked about the daily "One Thing" emails I get...and the title to today's "One Thing" by Kim Kimberling from the Awesome Marriage website really intrigued me . As I read it...I realized this was so TRUE for OUR marriage as well !!

I am sure that there are successfully reconciled marriages that do not have God guiding them. For US though...it wasn't until we "Let Go and Let God" that we saw a HUGE difference in not only OUR marriage...but in the way we saw LIFE in general . I used to think I was a faith filled Christian...but as we all know...hindsight is 20/20. I have talked about how WE were straying so far off of the faithful path with the decadent lifestyle we pursued...until my H ended up on the infidelity path that nearly destroyed EVERY path for US . God showed us the way back though...and WOW...it has truly been the BEST path WE have ever been on !!!

Today's email really moved us...and I thought I would share this with those of y'all who are on a similar path . Kim talks about praying with his wife, Nancy, often. Today he laid out a few examples...and as I read them...I realized this was also true for US . Here is an excerpt from the email this morning:

...Knowing how it has literally shaped our marriage, however, may influence your view on prayer. So here are some ways prayer has impacted us.

It has been a daily source of consistent connection.

It has kept us from going to bed angry at each other. (Almost always!)

It has helped us see each other through God’s eyes.

We have seen God answer prayer after prayer after prayer.

It has given us a place to take our deepest needs and hurts.

It has calmed our fears.

It has given us confidence in our decisions.

It has made us feel like we have a private audience with God.

My list could go on and on, but you get the idea. The bottom line is that if you and your spouse pray together, it will have an amazing impact on your marriage.

Right after Dday...I lost my faith in God . I truly was at a loss...not only from my precious marriage that died...but from the faith that died too . However...God wasn't going to let me go that easily . He allowed me to rant and rave at Him...knowing that my anger came from a place of deep HURT. Then He gently showed me the fallacy of my thoughts...He's kind of cool like that .

I got my faith back...and MORE . It also helped me to see that what I THOUGHT was gone forever...really wasn't. IF I could get my faith back...maybe my precious marriage wasn't completely lost either?

I knew my H would have to be willing to do the WORK as well though...and WE weren't ever a couple who prayed together regularly. My H assured me he was very willing...and we started doing a daily Bible Study...as well as praying together every morning and night. I have to say that the saying "Prayer Changes Things" never registered before like it does NOW !! Needless to say...OUR precious marriage is BETTER than EVER .

NO...I never got the blind trust back. NO...I am not free from the pain of betrayal. YES...there are times when the memory of what he did can bring me to my knees . But when I get there...I am in the position to PRAY .

NO traumatic event is erased from our memory...and we on this site have infidelity as part of the trauma in our life. EVERYONE goes through trauma...and on this site we have this experience. We can all share our experience in healing from this particular trauma...and help each other . MY experience isn't for everyone...but I hope this helps those who are going through the same experience I did in my faith .

YES...I trust my H. YES...I can look at my H with pride and respect. YES...we are totally...unashamedly...and head over heels IN LOVE with each other !!!

R is HARD...but if BOTH spouses are ALL IN...it is totally WORTH IT !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6615   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8660816
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Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 5:50 PM on Wednesday, May 19th, 2021

Nice post W2BHA --

So good to see you continuing to be in a good spot.

R is HARD...but if BOTH spouses are ALL IN...it is totally WORTH IT !!!

Yes, it is!

Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca

posts: 4719   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2016   ·   location: Home.
id 8660841
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 7:08 PM on Wednesday, May 19th, 2021

Thank you for the encouraging post. We were very faithful Christians and have really gotten away from him, but I feel his presence and blessings every day.

This is a hard journey and I feel my W is all in, I’m working hard to get there with her.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3453   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8660865
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 10:02 PM on Wednesday, May 19th, 2021

Oldwounds...I am pleasantly surprised...since I am now in A season...that I am doing very well . I'll TAKE IT !!!

Tanner...His Blessings sure have helped me to keep on going !! With the attitude you have...and your W being ALL IN...you are going to do just fine !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6615   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8660925
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sadgirlinsouth ( new member #77316) posted at 1:05 PM on Thursday, May 20th, 2021

Thank you for your post.... it's encouraging to hear from others that have travelled this path. It's only by God's grace that our marriage is on the path of recovering.

posts: 21   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2021
id 8661080
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HouseOfPlane ( member #45739) posted at 1:49 PM on Thursday, May 20th, 2021

Props to you, W2BHA!

But also don't let it get you down if the roller coaster takes a dip here and there. What goes down must come up, unless you're in a submarine.

Sending strength!

DDay 1986: R'd, it was hard, hard work.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
― Mary Oliver

posts: 3209   ·   registered: Nov. 25th, 2014
id 8661084
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 5:11 PM on Sunday, May 23rd, 2021

sadgirlinsouth...I agree . I Thank God EVERY day for the GRACE he has given me and my H .

HouseOfPlane ...thank you! I am so happy that the emotional rollercoaster was talked about a lot on here when I first got on this site . I am also happy that I have graduated TO the baby rollercoaster now !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6615   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8662008
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