SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hello, thank you for taking the time to read and respond to this.

It’s been 9 weeks since the final D Day. I have more details in my profile as well.
My BH (betrayed husband) hasn’t been talking to me at all. It’s been a week since I’d been messaging him good morning, good night, and logistics. He doesn’t respond. I’ve stopped all the silly messages just yesterday.

We’re on week 6 of an affair recovery program but he was very adamant that he wanted to do it for closure. I wanted him to keep an open mind but he said no. A friend of his also encouraged him to do the program for his own healing. But he stopped after just 4 weeks. He didn’t attend the 5th meeting and today is the 6th.

I’m struggling. We own a home and two pets together. We’re still living together. But I feel paralyzed and frozen.

I just want to talk to him and hug him and comfort him.

What can I do to help him heal?
What things helped your betrayed spouse feel safe again?
I want us to rebuild so badly 😔 I miss him.

Hiya, 9 weeks is very very early.

I understand the "paralysing" feeling. It’s tough.
Please read the articles in the "healing library" on this forum, they will help give you a better understanding on what is going on.

I would also recommend reading (as soon as you can):

- how to help your spouse, by Linda Macdonald
- Not just friends, by Shirley Glass

I know it’s tough, but unless your husband clearly tells you he doesn’t wish to talk, try to engage with him. Do whatever you can for him at this point.

He will be deeply hurting. Infidelity causes real trauma. Trickling the truth is another layer of trauma, and can do so much damage (I trickled the truth as well, I wish with all my heart I didn’t).

Take care and keep posting

Focus on your recovery.

Let him know you're available to talk if he wants to and that you're working on yourself so this doesn't happen again.

And then just give him space.