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Calling all BSs...

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Heartbroken4Good posted 11/1/2015 12:57 PM

This is wonderful, I got so much out of reading it. It's especially powerful to have each proposition separated out as its own post, so that each can be savored on it own.

Seriously, this is one of the most helpful things I've read on SI, kudos to nomadlady!

HobbesTheTiger posted 1/4/2016 09:00 AM

Bump to a great thread!

NikkiK posted 1/4/2016 09:32 AM

Thank you for this... very helpful, amazing read.

HandandHeart posted 1/4/2016 21:55 PM

What would I tell my 18 year old daughter or 21 year old son to do if confronted with this situation? Cut your losses. Move on. This person is not good enough for you. But is that because it is hypothetical and none of the emotion is there? None of the connection? None of the history, good and bad? It is so easy to decide what you want when given a hypothetical scenario; real life decision making is gut wrenching work. When do you know?

Opinionsplease posted 1/5/2016 12:21 PM

Bump. Have been through Dday2 and the part about risks couldn't be better.

tl502 posted 5/6/2016 04:35 AM


PatchworkBoy87 posted 5/6/2016 04:52 AM

How is this not a sticky yet? They're very good reminders for any BS out there.

Deeply Scared posted 5/6/2016 05:16 AM

How is this not a sticky yet?

Because we only Sticky threads that are staff related.

MissedRedFlags posted 6/5/2016 08:52 AM

Great thread

notperfect5 posted 6/14/2016 11:33 AM


Hawke posted 6/14/2016 11:43 AM

This is a great thread.

#5 took me a long time to figure out!

Thanks to nomadlady and the people who have been bumping this.

jtom posted 6/14/2016 13:00 PM

Should be read by all B/S. Thanks !

Beachgirl528 posted 7/22/2016 19:45 PM


Thank you for this. It is very helpful and so true.

william posted 7/23/2016 07:11 AM

would you be willing to repost this in the jfo forum so we can bump it when needed? many of the jfo coming in dont read the other forums and this should be essential reading for them.

MadOldBat posted 4/13/2017 07:29 AM

Bump for all BS

mchercheur posted 5/14/2017 22:53 PM


wannabenormal posted 5/14/2017 23:04 PM

I agree. I thought the A was my fault; I was even led to believe so (I HAD put on a few pounds, I was too much of this or not enough that) but the reality was; my spouse sucked and cheated.

Sadly people don't get married and really plan to stay so forever. We have this easy way when things get tough (and by tough, I mean like slightly unpleasant - not hardcore TOUGH).

It can happen to anyone and it makes me sad that a lot of people aren't in it for the long-haul because it's just, like, a lot of work.

Guess what? LIFE is work!

iamanidiot posted 10/23/2017 05:49 AM

I didn't have much of a chance... Only found out 30 years later.
The suspicions I harboured those days really effed up what could have been an awesome marriage.
Note to self: Stop on the 'could-have-beens'.

Nevertheless our life turned out great, friends envy our relationship, as do our adult children.

That said since DDay I have been thru hell.
Now I am on the other side and I'm good!!

I think this thread is great advice so I'm bumping it.

Good luck All.

Hippo16 posted 4/15/2018 19:49 PM

bump for Lt. CMDR

LtCdrLost posted 4/16/2018 10:50 AM

Many thanks. I'll read this later, I'm certain it's going to be helpful. The rabbit hole I'm going down right now is "What could I have done differently to prevent the stbxw from straying?" I know, I know... Probably nothing. But where I'm at specifically is A: What if one or both her miscarried babies had gone to term, or B: What if I had pressed harder to keep trying & there were one or more children in the house? Would that have kept her legs closed? I can't know that, can I?

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