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4everfaithful83 ( member #41761) posted at 11:09 PM on Sunday, January 26th, 2014
Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...
ME: 36
1 doggie
DDay: June 24th, 2013
DDay 2 : August 22nd,2017
Left him August 26th, 2017
Dobegirl ( member #41837) posted at 12:10 AM on Monday, January 27th, 2014
Omygosh exactly what I needed to read today. Going to bookmark this one for sure..thanks, thanks, thanks!
Me- BS 44 Always faithfull
Him- WS 44
2 mo. EA/PA with 25 yr. old slut that stroked his ego, OL profiles, CL ads
Married 8 years-No kids together
DDay-11/21/12...and many more
False R 2 LONG years
Time is a thief when your undecided
Harriet ( member #34543) posted at 5:21 AM on Monday, January 27th, 2014
Just wanted to add my enthusiatic praise. Really wonderful. Thank you.
D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12
NikkiD ( member #38173) posted at 4:15 PM on Monday, January 27th, 2014
This was so on point!! Thank you a million times over
"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....
Dawn58 ( member #37656) posted at 4:32 PM on Monday, January 27th, 2014
Right on! Excellent post that really lays it out.
I so relate to trying to figure out the "Why it happened". That has taken me so long to accept that and as you pointed out, comes from that part of me that wants to fix it and is having a hard time letting go. I finally have come to the conclusion that he is very wounded and does not realize it. He acts out of that place, there was nothing I could do. I was blindsided by his affair, everyone was shocked. He is very good at deception.
I choose to divorce my husband, my mediation is in April. Not an easy choice but the only one I could make. I filed a year ago and the road has definitely had it's ups and downs.
I am 14 months out and am starting to feel that my heart is healing. I found my laughter again, I have moments of great happiness and relish my freedom. I have tremendous gratitude that I am not with my STBX and I still have moments of great sadness that I am not with him. And the hurt still bubbles up but doesn't consume me like it did before. Life does move on.
I really hope your post can go into the Healing Library, I think it will be most helpful to all BS to read.
I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.
Pippy ( member #16482) posted at 10:08 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014
I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 2:50 AM on Saturday, April 26th, 2014
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
lovedmesomehim ( member #25743) posted at 6:57 AM on Saturday, April 26th, 2014
This is so relevant and comprehensive.
mchercheur, thank you for requesting that it be bumped.
Lovedmesomehim
littleflower ( member #42673) posted at 8:52 AM on Saturday, April 26th, 2014
Thanks you for writing this nomadlady
It really is just what I needed to read at the moment
DD 13/1/14
Him WH
OW - what a cow
3 kids under 4
thecosmogirl ( member #39707) posted at 3:58 PM on Saturday, April 26th, 2014
So glad I logged on and saw this.
Thank you!!
Me: BS
Him: doesn't matter anymore
D-day 14 June 2013
I'm smart, good looking and gosh darn it, people like me!
HeBrokeVows ( member #43252) posted at 3:19 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014
I needed this post today. Great information to keep my head on straight. Thank you!
Dday March 11, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.
Divorced 2/2016
ShellyShell ( member #42662) posted at 3:43 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014
This is amazing. I wish I'd read this years ago!
slicerboy ( member #22202) posted at 5:02 PM on Thursday, May 22nd, 2014
I needed to read this today... thanks!
Me: New beginnings
Her: Left her family without a plan
Two children, innocent victims (15 & 17)
Married March 1996
Divorced January 2016
need_hope ( member #23989) posted at 5:25 PM on Thursday, May 22nd, 2014
I missed this the first time around. Thank you nomadlady! That was a very concise and well written post.
Me - happily engaged to a wonderful man
XWS - no longer matters
Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.
Don't fuck with me, I fuck back.
Mom-of-4 ( member #29927) posted at 5:38 PM on Thursday, May 22nd, 2014
This is the BEST synopsis of life as a member of SI! This is brilliant, true, and incredibly validating. This NEEDS TO BE IN THE HEALING LIBRARY!!!!
Me- BS 44
WH-45-5 month PA- outed when I was 28 weeks pregnant with baby #4
Married-13 yrs
Children- 5 children under the age of 10
OW- his boss' wife, a "friend"
*Winners never cheat and cheaters never win*
Twentyplus ( member #39593) posted at 6:33 PM on Thursday, May 22nd, 2014
I did read this last fall but without true comprehension.
Think/hope I've got it now. This all applies in spades when dealing with an SA spouse.
Thank you, Nomad.
"But we must supply our own light." - Stanley Kubrick
ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 6:56 PM on Thursday, May 22nd, 2014
Hey Mods!
NomadLady is a researcher, and THIS literature deserves publication somewhere, even if it's just a pin to the top of the Forum for a while. 
Just awesome
FightingBack ( member #34770) posted at 7:10 AM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
Just wanted to bump this great thread.
Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!
neecee ( member #43523) posted at 3:26 PM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
This is so well thought out and composed. Great for all BS to read!!! Thanks for bumping!!
There is happiness after infidelity
me 49
WH 51
married 22 years
together 31 years
3 children 21, 19, 11
D-Day 5/8/2014
littleflower ( member #42673) posted at 1:40 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
DD 13/1/14
Him WH
OW - what a cow
3 kids under 4
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