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WS with severe depression - need advice

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solus sto posted 4/6/2018 12:58 PM

I wish I had more time to write—and I will, later. Among other things, my ex did/does have major depression. Gently, I think it unwise for her to be “secluded” to head off a breakdown. Instead, I’d want her someplace therapeutically supervised—inpatient, without time during which she’s wholly responsible for the kids.

There’s a lot going on here, and it concerns me vis–à-vis safety.

deephurt posted 4/6/2018 16:25 PM

I’m glad to hear that she is in the process of being diagnosed. I will suggest that getting a second opinion may be helpful.

My wh was diagnosed with depression and was taking meds for it for about 15 years before he was properly diagnosed. He actually has General Anxiety disorser and because the initial diagnosis was depression, the mess for depression made his anxiety much worse. Now that he has the correct meds, he is a completely different person-Better than the person I married even.

Good luck

Cooley2here posted 4/6/2018 16:46 PM

Marcus, the problem with any of us trying to diagnose a stranger is that you know her, we don’t. Still, acting out sexually, out of control spending, are definitely signs of bipolar. The anger outburst can be a sign of deep depression. Some people with this disorder have rapid ups and downs. If she had this happen after the birth of a baby this could be Post Partum Depression. Write everything down to share with the diagnostician.

Good luck. Take care of yourself.

MarcusNL posted 4/7/2018 03:05 AM

Pffff.. halfway into "codependant no more" and I'm checking off all the boxes so far. It seems that since the start of her depression i've slipped into a codependant role... heavily.

redsox13 posted 4/7/2018 08:34 AM

I am a lawyer who has represented patients in their commitment hearings at a state hospital.

I have seen cases before like yours. I have seen cases of post partum depression so severe they required commitment. I have seen bipolar patients in extreme circumstances exhibit psychotic tendencies.

And I saw the same behavior in my wife - who has bipolar disorder and who was delusional. She also made a serious attempt on her own life.

The best advice I can give you is your wife needs to be seen by a psychiatrist. Not a psychologist, a psychiatrist. She almost certainly needs medication.

And she needs to be seen NOW.

No one who has not seen your wife can tell you what her diagnosis is. But I CAN tell you what your are describing is serious mental illness.

In the last few years they have been several suicides here, and many other instances where someone tried to take their own life. If you get anything from this post, take a sense of urgency.

Your wife is not well. She needs to be seen and diagnosed.

MarcusNL posted 4/7/2018 08:59 AM


Yeah, i've spoken to her shortly this morning.. as it's my time to get the kids. On a scale of 0-10 she is a 3 now.. so ignoring all the fluff i think she's really a 1 or a 2. She broke down after a few minutes of 'pleasant' talk and told me she'd rather stop talking. So we waved her off. The 3 days of 0 contact that we had didn't seem to have any effect. So I'm continuing on this route.. as for me it seems to be beneficial.

She seemed annoyed when she saw me though. Annoyed with the fact that I'm making progress with myself and able to show composure.. and deflecting her anger/attacks. Not with defence but avoidance.

This Monday she has another appointment with her I.C. It's a very experienced psychologist who isn't working solo but is part of a mental health center. They have internal psychiatrists as well and if the case is too severe they will involve them. To prevent her from obfuscating the truth our MC psychologists have already contacted the mental health center (after she gave permission to do so) to escalate the issue.

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