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Different perspective 2.0

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paboy posted 9/22/2019 13:48 PM

Hopefully you have year passes to the Theme parks. They would enjoy Movie World and Sea World for sure.

Enjoy your break.

Marz posted 9/22/2019 13:52 PM

Itís the first week of the holidays ; the kids are with me.
We were on the beach, the kids played in the surf.
Iím standing in the water, the sky is blue .
And I think ď this is perfect ď

You don't need her. You never did.

Keep moving forward.

NoOptTo posted 9/22/2019 16:13 PM

Glad your enjoying time with your kids. It's your time, its your future. Live it, love it. Enjoy not being saddled down with your narc of an XWW.

If she emails you during g this week away, ignore it til you get home. There is nothing short of a medical emergency that needs to be addressed with her. Have fun with your kids.

Atg100 posted 9/22/2019 16:33 PM

Paboy - I think you know the Gold Coast.
We are staying in Currumbin, on the hill, just behind the surf club. Theme parks are definitely on the to do list for the kids - although they are both very keen to go into the surf with their bodyboards. And yesterday we went from the beach to the skatepark and back to to the beach. I'm bringing up Aussie kids...

I think it's important for the kids to do facetime with their mum. But my boy is 8 - meaning he knows everything about technology - he can call her without needing help from me. So I am usually staying in the other room.
And you all are correct: There is no reason for me to talk or email with her at all this week.

Ripped62 posted 9/22/2019 17:20 PM

Enjoy your children. They grow up fast. Make memories that will last a lifetime for them and you.

Brace yourself as they will be surfing soon.

Atg100 posted 9/24/2019 16:03 PM

My lawyer got in touch yesterday:
My ex's lawyer still hadn't drafted the binding child support agreement, now 4 weeks since mediation.

( at the end of the mediation, my lawyer was instructed to prepare documents concerning financial separation to be submitted to court; her lawyer was supposed to draft the child support agreement.My lawyer did his job within 2 days.)

My lawyer now sent her an email, expressing our concerns about the unreasonable delay.
Finally her lawyer sent a draft, which my ex is still apparently reviewing.

First page, first paragraph:
My personal details.
So, what is she actually reviewing?

My big concern of course is, that she wants to change the custody order. I wouldn't put anything past her at this stage. But, I think it's just incompetence on her behalf.

paboy posted 9/24/2019 16:47 PM

I use to drive cabs previously. I remember an Hotel just past the Surf club. Something..rock. I presume you are there. Every Christmas, our family spend Christmas day on that beach. If you follow the road further around, towards Palm Beach, and just before you get to the big bridge, we set up there. Have been doing it for about 5 yrs. A good safe spot, especially for the grandchildren.

Enjoy your break with the children.

Lifeitself posted 9/24/2019 19:22 PM

As far as I know you have week on week off order. What do you think she wants to change it to?

Atg100 posted 9/24/2019 19:33 PM

PA boy - yes we are just in an Airbnb behind that rock.
Great place , wonderful to relax.
Life itself - she is a narcissist ; either the delay is due to intention- and that could only mean that she wants more time with the kids to harm me.
Or - she is incompetent .
Looking how she dealt with my personal details, Iím guessing itís the second.
But who knows ?

[This message edited by Atg100 at 7:33 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]

AFL1000 posted 9/24/2019 21:20 PM


Glad to hear you are having a good time on the Gold Coast with the kids.

All this stuffing around with your STBX on the binding child support agreement probably comes down to the incompetence of her lawyer .. I mean really after all the correspondence she has had in relation to the separation, mediation and divorce she still got your personal details wrong Sheesh!!!!

Couple this with the fact that your STBX has always been lax with timelines in responding to her and your lawyer.

Remember this nonsense will soon all pass and you will be free.

PS send some of that warm weather down south please. I'm fedup of the cold rainy weather down here.

Atg100 posted 9/25/2019 02:12 AM

Itís not super hot here either. But that doesnít stop my kids.
I had to pull them out of the water - blue lips and shivering - but apparently not cold ...

What I donít understand - the quicker the documents get submitted, the quicker she gets her cash.
But nothing of what she has done so far, is logical .

Marz posted 9/25/2019 02:17 AM

Hopefully your x has an incompetent attorney and isn't changing her mind.

Let's hope

Wool94 posted 9/25/2019 05:41 AM

Atg, at this point you're a role model for what to do when this happens to you.

What I donít understand - the quicker the documents get submitted, the quicker she gets her cash.†
But nothing of what she has done so far, is logical .†

Logic... what's that?

Atg100 posted 9/26/2019 15:45 PM

An acquaintance texted me yesterday; he saw my ex-wife's tinder profile.

I wonder why he told me that? Did he want me to be in pain?

I had to collect my thoughts a bit.
This is the woman, who once was my soul mate; now she advertises to the world that she wants to get laid.

I thought about it quite a bit, but now can only shrug my shoulders.

We are on different journeys.

[This message edited by Atg100 at 3:45 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]

steadychevy posted 9/26/2019 15:50 PM

What's the acquaintance doing on tinder? I think tinder is just for hooking up or am I wrong? Don't know. Haven't been there. Won't ever be.

It's one of those "what the hell" moments. Good attitude as you processed. It's more proof you are following the right path for you. But damn. She is the mother of your children and you will be connected through them for a long time. You are on different journeys, for sure. Again, good attitude.

Atg100 posted 9/26/2019 16:03 PM

The acquaintance is a recently separated father of two.
His wife also had an affair.
I tried to connect with him because of the similarities of our situation, but it didn't work out. I still see him at work every now and then.

I think it is his response to the breakdown of their relationship. Wanting to hook up, getting validated that way.

I can only speak for myself. It wouldn't be for me right now. Yes, I miss intimacy and connection with a woman. But I don't think I would find this on tinder at the moment.
It may be therapeutic for him.
My ex can do whatever she wants.

But - If I am honest, I am pretty sure that as a male , you also get a lot of rejection on tinder or the dating scene in general.
I don't think I could handle this at the moment. I just continue to work on myself. My time will come.

NoOptTo posted 9/26/2019 16:27 PM

Hope your focusing more on your kids then what some acquaintance is texting you. Besides, it would be par for the course with your XWW searching for cheap thrills. She is a broken person with a need for instant satisfaction, hence the tinder profile rather then some other dating sites. I wouldn't be surprised if she is on them also.

Keep focusing on your relationship with your children, your friends, and your healing. You'll know when it's right to begin seeking someone else. Til then, be the best loving father you can be for your children ATG.

steadychevy posted 9/26/2019 17:34 PM

I'm guessing the acquaintance wasn't trying to bring you pain. I'm guessing he was just wanting to let you know what was going on especially if you needed it for your D.

Lifeitself posted 9/26/2019 19:47 PM

It also shows that your WW isnít with her AP anymore ATG, youíll probably Shrug your shoulders again though.

AFL1000 posted 9/26/2019 20:46 PM


I am sorry your acquaintance felt it necessary to tell you about your STBx's Tinder profile. As others have said just ignore it. Kill any temptation to look at it. Kill any temptation to mention to her you know about her profile. Knowing her she will turn it on you to say you are stalking her as she did with the recent phone episode.

The only time to raise it is if in your opinion her Tinder hookups impact adversely on the kids.

Sorry she was never your soulmate. She kept her true nature hidden and wouldn't have done the things she did to you if that was true. By the way I am not an advocate of the soulmate theory anyway.

You will find someone when you are ready and you won't need Tinder or any dating app to do it. I am sure the word is out amongst your friends and acquaintances about the approaching divorce so be prepared for all the attempted match making.

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