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Struggling with resentment..... vent

Emotionalhell posted 11/4/2019 06:10 AM

I am struggling with resentment and anger towards wayward.. also struggling with not giving him the silent treatment. I just donít want to interact with him.
I thought this far out I would be doing better. I do realize that A #2 was last August (2018)but still not like I havenít been through this before.
Who in the hell does this to someone they love and is always kind to!?! Is that just a love bombing technique.
The saying ďlove sometimes isnít enoughĒ is what seems to be happening. But everything I pray I hear just a little longer. Ugh
Iím tired Iím worn out and I deserve a full loving relationship and peace in my life.
I am seeing a new IC. I feel like she is actually listening to me and helping me. Maybe it is the IC that has me thinking.
Thank you to anyone that reads my rant.

I have studied covert narcissism and he doesnít fit the bill. Maybe just a really screwed up person. I have had a few opportunities to cheat. Living like a nun for 5 years itís very tempting. But I donít have it in me to cheat. I donít want to leave that kind of a legacy for my kids or grandkids either..
I just donít get cheating. Just f***** leave
Rant over

[This message edited by Emotionalhell at 6:47 AM, November 4th (Monday)]

cocoplus5nuts posted 11/4/2019 06:33 AM

You know that you can leave, right? You don't have to wait for him to make that decision.

It doesn't matter how many times this has happened before, every new dday puts you right back to square one. Where did you expect to be at only 3 months out?

Emotionalhell posted 11/4/2019 06:49 AM

I know I can leave. I just feel like the time isnít right, but close.

I meant August 2018. Sorry I was t clear on that.

hopefullife posted 11/4/2019 08:29 AM

You don't destroy the people you love, right? I've always believed that it is far easier to just end the relationship instead of cheating. I don't understand as well why people choose to cheat.

I'm glad you found a better fit with your IC. I changed IC too, hope this one helps me.

fooled13years posted 11/4/2019 08:51 AM

Emotionalhell

I do realize that A #2 was last August (2018)but still not like I havenít been through this before.

Being a FBH there are so many things that I don't understand about a WS.

The first is why, if you truly love your BS?

The second, in this scenario like so many others, why do it again after seeing the pain the first A caused?

I deserve a full loving relationship and peace in my life.

The third, why would any AP settle for being the side piece?

Unless there was talk about leaving the BS(s) and starting a life together, why subject yourself to this?

Rant over

BetterTimesAhead posted 11/4/2019 09:59 AM

Is he doing the work? If not, maybe that is where the resentment comes from.

As for why he didn't just leave and cheated instead... My WH said he wanted to leave but he didn't want to upset our son's life and thought it was better if we all stayed together under one roof. Then he told me that it was better for me because I could continue to live the lifestyle I was accustomed to. Seriously? I had to set him straight on that one. I told him he did not cheat FOR me - he cheated ON me. Do not make it seem like you did me a favor. Just another way for him to justify his choice. Should he choose to make the mistake of stating that to me again, he will again be reminded that he didn't cheat FOR anyone but himself.

cf2018 posted 11/4/2019 10:30 AM

Iím tired Iím worn out and I deserve a full loving relationship and peace in my life.

Totally agree! Maybe it's in the air because resentment has been building for me this week as well. I'm annoyed because she got to have her ego stroked in EA's while I was busting my ass working! All I do is work to provide for my entire family and don't feel real appreciated by how I've been treated.

The1stWife posted 11/4/2019 10:45 AM

If you are moving towards D then be happy YOU are at least doing something positive.

You can leave at any time. There is no right time or good time. Please know that.

cbgrace1980 posted 11/7/2019 13:06 PM

Keep up the good, hard work seeing your IC. He or she will definitely help you figure you what you want for yourself. It does not mean you have to leave or cheat! You are taking the steps to have a better life, and I am thankful you are doing the work for your kids. Your spouse may or may not admire you for the work you're doing, but you are definitely going in the right direction!!

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