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LilacLiquid (original poster new member #72080) posted at 10:49 AM on Sunday, November 17th, 2019
It's been 5 1/2 months since I learned the "whole truth". We are in counseling and working on reconciling. I'm at such a low point and find it so hard to believe anything WH says. Does that get easier as time goes by? Or will I spend the rest of my life with trust issues?
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 11:49 AM on Sunday, November 17th, 2019
It DOES get better and life will be worth living again...thisI can PROMISE you Dear Lady 
.
I can’t...however...promise you that you won’t have trust issues in the future. Your WH’s actions will help you to see if he is worthy of being trusted again...or not. You have given him the gift of R...he can embrace that gift and change to become the husband you deserve. IF he chooses not to...you will be able to tell that HE is NOT the man who you will be able to trust.
We can’t change anyone else... but we do have the power to change ourselves . While you are waiting and observing to see which path your WH is going to take...you can work on becoming stronger and more self reliant . This way... you will know what to do IF your WH decides to take a path that won’t help you to heal. Knowledge is POWER Dear Lady....and once you KNOW what to do...your choice will become easier to make .
This is a marathon...not a sprint. It takes time to navigate through many issues... and there WILL be setbacks. But if y’all have a GOAL to work toward... you will be able to tell if an issue is a setback...or a dealbreaker.
The consensus on here is that it takes 2-5 YEARS to get to a place of feeling healed. At 5 months out...your pain is still very raw... and trust is not able to be seen for the most part. But EVERY DAY you get to be one day further out of infidelity! Just take your time...take care of YOU...and soon you will start to see sunshine again .
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
Goldie78 ( member #61390) posted at 12:01 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2019
It does get better, slowly.
There are also setbacks and bad days, but you will have more and more good days in between.
I will always have trust issues. I was lied to for too many years, but that is a part of the stronger wiser me.
Me: BW 50+Him: WH 60’sDS, DD 4 awesome GKidsMarried almost 40 yearsPA1 2002 to 2007(?) with COW, they stopped working together in 2002PA2 summer 2007DD both Nov 2016Working on r
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 11:36 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2019
If he is consistent in his behavior and being honest, it will get better. It may be slow but this gs will improve.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 11:55 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2019
I second that it does get better but slowly.
So sorry that you are struggling.
One day at a time.
Big hugs to you.
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
weddingbelle ( member #63452) posted at 8:55 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2019
You're right want2b, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Almost 3 years out and after 15 months of trickle truth, there's finally movement toward intimacy and vulnerability. I 180'd pretty hard for the the last few months and I swear it's working. All of a sudden in MC he's breaking down and, I feel, "getting it". Such a long time to spend at our age (60's), but hopefully it'll be worth it.
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