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imgonnabeok posted 11/29/2019 11:59 AM

Is it only me or does this shit hit everyone REALLY hard in the shower??? When my dad died I remember the same thing happening to me.

landclark posted 11/29/2019 12:05 PM

YES! Why is that? Less distractions? It’s so frustrating. Seriously, I just want to enjoy a hot shower, but can’t even get 5 minutes away from it.

Brokenandsolost posted 11/29/2019 13:20 PM

I have lost count of how many times I have cried in the shower. It sucks for sure

Thumos posted 11/29/2019 13:23 PM

A shower provides a meditative drone sound white noise environment with few or no distractions. It’s why people also have creative epiphanies and ideas for inventions while In the shower.

[This message edited by Thumos at 10:31 AM, November 30th (Saturday)]

Gettingoveritall posted 11/29/2019 13:32 PM

A shower provides a meditative drone sound white noise environment with few or no distractions.

Exactly.

It’s why people also have creative epiphanies and ideas for inventions while I’m the shower.

This made me laugh out loud. Unintentional humor is great!

layla1234 posted 11/29/2019 13:40 PM

Yes. I have 3 young children so I feel like I hold it in all day long. When I get in the shower, I can let it all out.

J707 posted 11/29/2019 14:40 PM

It's almost an escape of the world. Just you and your thoughts. No distractions, just you. I used/use it to wash away my tears or thoughts. Same with a bath. It can change your mindset washing away all the bullshit in your mind. My mind wonders around in the shower or while being alone in nature, very healing.

Dorothy123 posted 11/29/2019 15:02 PM

Unfortunately, triggers can happen anywhere and for any reason.

What you are going through is very normal.

Here's a link to give you more in depth and answer any other questions you may have on the physical symptoms you will have when reacting to the A.

"What physical symptoms of A did you have?"

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=597986

ShatteredSakura posted 11/29/2019 15:13 PM

I must be an exception then. Showers for me are short and mechanical. Things hit me when I'm alone with my thoughts (literally) not doing anything, or when I finish doing something and my brain goes into "what's next? oh..." mode

[This message edited by ShatteredSakura at 3:15 PM, November 29th (Friday)]

Glashalffull posted 11/29/2019 15:25 PM

I got to a point that I hated taking showers, since that is where my biggest meltdowns always happened. Then I tried to be positive about it all, think that maybe if all those emotions went down the drain, then they wouldn’t come back.

steadychevy posted 11/29/2019 15:31 PM

I remember that. I enjoy my showers now (most of the time).

cancuncrushed posted 11/29/2019 17:46 PM

It hit me hard in the shower. I would go all day. Stay busy anxiety. Stress.

When I got in the shower. The world stopped. No distraction. No burning anxiety. Just me. And my nightmare. It forced me to stop. To see. To feel

I take showers in the dark. Wierd. But nice

[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 5:48 PM, November 29th (Friday)]

DragnHeart posted 11/29/2019 17:51 PM

It's almost an escape of the world. Just you and your thoughts. No distractions, just you

Ha! Not with only one washroom and four kids who all need to pee the moment mommy gets into the shower...after asking more than ten if anyone has to go before I get into my birthday suit....

Oh and if I am going to get a visitor to the house when the kids are at school 9 times out of ten it's when I'm in the shower...

It's not a place if peace at all....

That said I have had my breakdowns in the shower. Just to hide the tears.

ChamomileTea posted 11/29/2019 17:56 PM

I cried through every shower for the first year, then about every other one in the second year, tapering down to about once per week, then once per month through the third year.

For the first year, I cried in my car a lot too. I had to turn the radio off and drive in silence for that whole year because music was so triggering.
When I did start reintroducing music, I had to change to a new genre and ended up learning to love 40's Big Band.

IHatePickingName posted 11/29/2019 19:49 PM

Yup. Its the only time i am alone, with a muffling noise, so kids dont notice. And while they come into the bathroom, they usually dont look behind the shower curtain. So its as close to private as i ever get. I also cried in bed after they were asleep, but WH was there and sometimes i didnt want comfort, i just wanted to be alone

betsy62 posted 11/29/2019 23:15 PM

One of the positives of living in an apartment, is endless hot water for showers!
In the marital home, after a certain amount of time, the hot water would start to run out.
Even as far back as college, I used a long hot shower as a way to handle stress.(endless water there too).
After Dday, sometimes I would feel better after a cry in the shower. Other times, it just left me drained, and I had to crawl into bed and sleep.
I have not triggered in the shower for quite some time now.
Which is a relief, because, there is no better way for me to relax, than to take a late night, hot shower.
And, Cancuncrushed, you are not alone. I, too, love to shower in the dark.

J707 posted 11/30/2019 10:14 AM

Ha! Not with only one washroom and four kids who all need to pee the moment mommy gets into the shower...

Thumos posted 11/30/2019 10:32 AM

Unintentional humor is great!

Yeah autocorrect is always turning “in” into “I’m” on my phone bc my big monkey hands weren’t designed for small iOS buttons. It’s annoying!

ShatteredSakura posted 11/30/2019 10:42 AM

This is why I like the Galaxy Note phones, I still have my Note 4 (recently replaced the battery and still going strong).

Speaking of large families and limited bathrooms...it's a universal truth, multiple (nice) bathrooms are such a godsend.

4-5 people sharing one bathroom reminds me of the opening to Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House. Later in the movie Cary Grant talks about each bedroom having a bathroom and being told that was not necessarily the most practical idea . But we all relate to it!

Nolife posted 12/3/2019 17:36 PM

The first he wouldn’t admit wrong doing. The second he came clean. He wanted the grief over so I dealt with the crying in the shower.