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Off Topic :
17 year old niece is dying from meth addiction

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concerned

 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 2:45 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2019

My niece has been addicted to meth a for few years now that I know of.

She was such a sweet girl before she started hanging with the wrong crowd and started smoking meth.

What the meth did to my niece physically and mentally is scary and heart breaking.

My niece is a daily user.

As a family, we have tried everything to try and get my niece to stop using meth . Begging, pleading, being over protective , an intervention and nothing has worked.

I and the rest of my family has done a fair bit of trying to "save" my niece.

I have come to learn that all we were doing was just enabling my niece.

I hope and pray that one day my niece will reach her rock bottom and go seek help on her own.

Please keep my niece in your thoughts and prayers.

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 8:59 AM, December 11th (Wednesday)]

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

posts: 5583   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2016   ·   location: a happy place
id 8480617
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 5:48 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2019

Prayers being sent...and ((((HUGS))) to you, Dorothy; I know how awful addiction can be - it's hard to sit back and watch.

2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8905   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8480710
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 7:36 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2019

Aw ((((Dorothy))))

As painful as it is, there is nothing - NOTHING - that you can do to help someone who is not ready to receive that help and turn their life around. I am so sorry that she is putting herself and her family through this.

Since she is a minor, there is still one last hope, that is if her parents can force her into some kind of in-patient rehab program that provides not only addiction help but also other therapy to provide new tools to help her with coping. I don't know if this would be covered by her parents' insurance, if not it might be prohibitively expensive. But it is possibly the last chance to get her straight before adulthood and most likely a further descent into her addiction.

I'm so sorry.

Sending lots of love, strength and mojo to you all.

((((Dorothy))))

Dear Niece - please accept this help from the people who love you and only want the best for you.

((((niece))))

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8480771
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 9:08 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2019

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31107   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8480838
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BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 9:10 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2019

I'm so sorry, Dorothy. This epidemic is ruthless.

WW/BW

posts: 3721   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8480841
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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 10:39 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2019

Thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers.

I just hate the many manifestations of the disease of addiction.

(had to edit from manifesto to manifestation. That was a doozy of a Freudian slip )

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 4:45 PM, December 11th (Wednesday)]

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

posts: 5583   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2016   ·   location: a happy place
id 8480905
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demolishedinside ( member #47839) posted at 3:18 AM on Thursday, December 12th, 2019

My heart goes out to you and your family. Prayers that she wakes up and gets the help she needs.

Hoping for a good update, Dorothy.

BS - me/3 kids
DD - April 2015 / SA-Jan. 28, 2017
DD2- October 23, 2018
Divorced and happy

posts: 2073   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2015
id 8481024
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 3:28 AM on Thursday, December 12th, 2019

Sending hugs and hoping things turn around. What a nasty addiction.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6480   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8481028
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Gottagetthrough ( member #27325) posted at 11:39 AM on Thursday, December 12th, 2019

I’m so sorry for your family’s pain. ZenMumWalking is so right- there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to have your niece Stop using, it has to be her decision. I know

The hardest thing is just letting go and saying there’s nothing i can do to make this person stop using and watching them make bad life choices.

Al-anon was helpful for me in detaching from WH when he was addicted to prescription pills and I was making myself crazy trying to figure what I could do to get him to stop

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8481102
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Justsomelady ( member #71054) posted at 12:49 PM on Thursday, December 12th, 2019

The only thing that helped my cousin was prison. She has turned her life around in the aftermath as she was able to find work and rebuild through family connections. Now you would never know it, but she was really lost. No amount of concern or therapy helped her before prison, sadly she needed that to take her out of all the bad influences.

Be responsible for telling the truth. Not managing other people’s reactions to it - Mel Robbins .

posts: 512   ·   registered: Jul. 20th, 2019   ·   location: Midatlantic
id 8481131
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 1:07 PM on Thursday, December 12th, 2019

Thought and prayers for your niece and family. Such a horrible thing.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3712   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8481136
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pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 4:27 AM on Friday, December 13th, 2019

Maybe there is someone who broke free who could talk to her. Someone who's been there.

Beautiful girl, you are just beginning, please reach out.

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.

posts: 2565   ·   registered: Jan. 19th, 2018
id 8481690
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betsy62 ( member #48022) posted at 5:41 AM on Friday, December 13th, 2019

I am so sorry. Don't give up hope. As long as she is alive, there is hope.

My adult DD is a recovering Meth addict. She is almost 3 years clean.

As others have said, until they want the help, there is nothing you can do. It is heartbreaking and scary as hell to watch.

My DD went to in-patient treatment 4 times.

At her third stay, a therapist looked at me, and stated the most helpful thing I had ever been told at her treatment places....

"Don't let your child's choices destroy your life."

[This message edited by betsy62 at 11:41 PM, December 12th (Thursday)]

Sometimes, you must forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve

posts: 500   ·   registered: May. 26th, 2015
id 8481713
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CatsNTats ( member #66105) posted at 6:53 AM on Friday, December 13th, 2019

Dorothy,

Just let her know - that when she is ready to get help you are there.

I wish I could give better advice, but I tried everything to help WH before he died in October.

Addiction is a nasty and powerful thing. She has to want help. And if she comes to you - take her to get treatment. But that is really all you can do without enabling her or pushing her further away. She has to be willing - and if the time comes when she is - she will need help getting there.

- Cats

Me:37 BW
Him:45 WH Deceased 10.20.19
Other D-Days: Feb 2016, August 2017, September 2018


If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it's a duck.

posts: 331   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2018
id 8481722
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thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 3:53 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2019

Dorothy123, so very heartbreaking. Very much in my prayers.

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4480   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 8481872
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TheCaterpillar ( member #49827) posted at 10:10 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2019

I'm sorry you're in this heartbreaking situation.

Seconding the suggestion of reaching out to AlAnon or similar. There's support out there for the family members whether your niece is willing to get help or not.

posts: 2593   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2015
id 8482098
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