Today was not a good day. Our kids were supposed to have dinner with him and his wife. Due to weather he switched the time to earlier, and that eliminated one kid. He asked our daughter to call his wife direct and speak to her. She didn't want to talk to her.
This has been an ongoing, evolving situation. In two years she has seen her perhaps for 3 times, lasing a couple of hours. My daughter has not processed this and has incredible anger, and unresolved feelings that her father never addressed. She is angry at his wife, even though it's likely she's not really the person she needs to be angry at. I've expected this to blow up like a nuclear bomb when they are together.
She called her dad, told him she wasn't comfortable, wanted to meet them both in private not at a dinner, to talk. She wants to unload 2 years worth of anger on them I'm sure. I know my daughter she will explode, a scene will ensue. Her father will blow up worse, take his wife's side, and it will go south from there.
As relayed by DD, but I was within listening distance, and could hear 80% of what was going on for both of them.
She didn't want her there or to talk to her. He got mad, said that after 2 years they still don't want to be around her, and it's not her fault.
She tried to talk to him, but he became enraged. He switched subjects and started screaming at her. She tried for a bit to explain to him that she needs to talk about the past to process. He told her that the past is done, the present is here, and if she can't move on then he might not talk to her anymore. He backed off that a bit, and went on a long tangent. He wouldn't let her explain that to move onto the present her councilor told her to talk through it. He wants to skip it all.
He began to scream about things from the lawsuit, who was to blame, who screwed him over, and made the conversations about other things. He told her he was done being treated like a dog, told he's a "piece of shit". He had some vile things to say about me, that he wishes he'd never met me, that if he knew then what he knows now he's never have been with me, that I ruined his life.
He was upset he only got a card for Christmas, she asked him why her card wasn't good enough, that she didn't have money what did he expect. He ranted about how he should have had presents.
Then he got worse. She cried. He yelled about how he took care of my f-ing kids when we were together, and she thought he meant her. He was talking about my two biological kids. He was livid. He told her he's ruined, broke, he has no money he can't pay his taxes. He said his career is finished, his business has been ruined, he can't pay his bills, and he's at his wits end. He has no business coming in, no advertising. He said he's in a dark place, and carries a gun for protection. I've never heard someone so angry in my life. I've seen him angry before, this was far beyond anything I experienced in 23 years with him.
He ranted that "your mother" got a pass on this because she gave birth to my children, but he would have destroyed me, and something is going to happen in the next 30-60 days when he has money. He made comments about how your mother is doing financially well, as though he's got someone giving him information. He gave himself a migraine from yelling. They didn't have dinner.
KARMA may have arrived for him, but it's not wrapped in anything satisfying. If his business fails, everyone falls like dominoes. He said his character has been maligned and now no one will hire his company. I'm probably the most stable financially only due to the equity in the house being 100%. He has absolutely nothing to fall back on.