Firs 
t I feel like a fool; although, I sacrifice to this day for my children and would continue to do so. I have seen so many signs but never caught him in the act. Please forgive my punctuation this is being spoken into my phone. He travels so it is very easy for him to hide what he does. I no longer need proof. I can put the puzzle pieces together. I will share some of them to help you understand. The first time he treated me poorly was on our first vacation which I paid for. I knew at the time I should have gone home and ended it there. I fell for him pretty hard. My first indication he had done something was when I was pregnant with my second child and we had roommates renting the upper level of our home. He no longer had a motor bike which he loved to ride and this roommates wife had a beautiful Harley-Davidson. I allowed him to go on a motorcycle ride with her which turned into 8 hours. I did not feel like the woman was his type and I did not feel threatened so I allowed him to take that ride. After 8 hours with no indication or phone call that he was okay I became worried and angry. I do believe he had an affair that day. After the fact when we had troubles with these roommates it came out that she had been making the moves on him for quite a long time. Since I'm not stupid I do believe they had an affair. That was in the summer of 1996. My second indication wasn't until we drove together in a semi truck in 2015. One night I got off duty late and my H didn't have to drive for a couple hours, it was very late. So I had some trouble parking the trailer and needed lights so that I could sweep it out for him. It was a nice big lot and I had to park the truck in the opposite direction that you normally park because the truck had steering issues and I needed the light from a Street Lamp. I swept the trailer for him so that he didn't have to wake up and do it at 2 a.m.. The reason this is important to tell you is because of what he said to me next. I crawled in bed and went in to a sound sleep. When he woke up, he yelled in my ear that I was so selfish(for parking backwards). But there was nothing behind us to make it hard to back out.Another time while I was sleeping he said he made a mistake when he married me (no provocation). On another day we were coming into Florida and I was excited. We were going to the beach, I reached over and touched his leg and smiled. He told me, "You know one day, I'm going to leave you". I went to the back bunk the process what he had just said to me. I grabbed his phone from behind the curtain and there was a social media site with a woman contacting him. At this point I asked my boss for my own truck. We didn't talk to each other for approximately 8 weeks. During that time I looked at his Facebook page and saw him liking all of the posts of one particular woman that worked at the same company I worked at. I knew he had his nose up her butt. That's all the proof I needed. That woman being a good Christian woman dropped him. I didn't need to go any further with that. But I put it in the archives. A couple of years ago; I believe it was 2017, in the summer he was planning a trip to Canada on the motorcycle to see family. I discovered a meet up with a woman in Canada. I messaged the woman and asked her why she was going to meet my husband. Instead of answering the question, she blocked me. Fast forward to last summer, I lent my daughter-in-law one of his old phones because hers was broken and she discovered all kinds of pornographic content on the phone. I researched it and to my disappointment I found that many of those sites were hookup sites with names like get f tonight, etc. Etc. I contacted him once again while he was in Canada and read him the Riot Act. I compare pornography to drugs you start out with your gateway drug and the same way with pornography you get into things or open up doorways maybe that were not meant to be opened. Now I am the kind of W that will get on the phone with my H and have fun with sexting or video. He doesn't have to go elsewhere in other words. My most recent suspicion is even crazier. I have a phone service which is great because I can I can monitor phone call occurrences, text message occurrences. This is when I noticed a certain phone number came up over and over, and over throughout the day, out of Joplin Missouri. This is where our company is located. I found call and text occurrences with that same phone number and once again constant. You don't usually see activity like that unless it's a love relationship. However, this was a man's number. When H got home, I looked at the text and found a big boobed woman in what looks like a hotel room. I'm not sure if that picture was sent by H or his friend. There were also comments about getting the Vaseline and little hearts from his friend. At this point I'm starting to think. The next thing I noticed is he starts deleting the messages from this OM. He brings OM to my home for Christmas. Just about every behavior of OM at my home was weird or inappropriate. I won't go into every detail but to make a long story short I saw him pinch my husband's tit, Yes you heard me right I am sorry for the Jerry Springer description. I saw him sit on my husband's lap on the couch. My son saw him do that another time. And then when my husband was being silent and weird I saw OM, sit next to my husband and look longingly into his eyes. I pretended to not notice. Once again I found pornography on my husband's phone, and that the messages had been erased to the OM. The pornography was of Acts of sodomy. I decided to question him if he was having an affair with this OM. I asked about H visit to Massage parlor. The massage was $164.00. Should be in price range of $100 for normal massage. I think he paid for a happy ending. H immediately got defensive, H avoids issues, or dealing with confrontations. He turns it into a big fight when I told him I didn't want to fight I just wanted to ask him a question. It heated up an escalated from there. He will not talk to me at the moment, 3 weeks now. I asked a friend if the OM is bi . He said he believes so.
At this point I would be willing to allow him to keep everything as long as property is willed to my children. I don't even know if this is possible. I think I've been through so many things with him that at this point I'm ready to have a separation and move forward so that he can't touch my finances afterwards.
I have been married for 25 years in February and I don't understand how you can be so close to somebody and not be best friends. Or even consider taking a friendship of 25 years and decimate it. I do love him. We have had good times. But in our last conversation he said two things to me, "I wouldn't be in this place if it weren't for you". "And if you don't like it there's the door". I apologize for my punctuation but I'm putting this together on my phone so please bear with my punctuation problems as I don't travel with a computer.
I think my marriage is played out. I am trying to process and heal. I am glad I found this site because infidelity is a character issue. It isn't my fault. Pain is a great teacher. I didn't do these things to him, I was a good wife, mother, cook, cleaner, barber, bookkeeper, lover, seamstress, maid, provider.
I am setting my boundaries. I will not be home when he is there, my services are removed, the bill is unpaid. I am strong, I survived 25 years with a selfish, self serving person, for my children. Like Job(e), my life will be restored. My God gives me my worth (no man can do that) I am sitting back on the princess chair where the king expects his daughter to be treated respectfully and honorably. I am honorable, honest, loving, and I deserve to treated the same.
