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Update to Christmas Eve D-Day

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KingofNothing posted 6/16/2020 11:58 AM

I'll admit it. I was skeptical and afraid that you were going to rugsweep this as much as possible back when you first posted but I'm so glad you turned out to be a rock star instead!

What Neko said.. it looked like you were going to get your a** handed to you the last time you posted and I couldn't be happier to be completely wrong!

Stay strong, rant on here all you like, we'll be here for you.

KingofNothing posted 6/16/2020 11:58 AM

Danged duplicates..

[This message edited by KingofNothing at 11:59 AM, June 16th (Tuesday)]

heartbrokeninNC posted 6/16/2020 12:33 PM

Neko was almost right. I took my foot off the throttle and was listening in other places that did not have my best interests at heart. Kept thinking back to SI and the advice that was given. It wasn't until WW stated that she was not going to go NC with AP that I knew it was over. After that, just laid low and built a stronger timeline along with working on myself and doing a lot of self reflection.

Westway posted 6/16/2020 16:48 PM

She forced your hand and you had to do what you had to do. The chutzpah and entitled attitude of some of these cheating assholes is just hard to believe sometimes.

Buffer posted 6/16/2020 19:42 PM

Well she will soon be served, most likely move out to be closer to her AP. Then when the D gets closer expect some serious gaslighting.
She will realise her AP isn’t the one true love, her actions have alienated her children who won’t want to come to visit. She will most likely move closer to AP, to cut down the travel time.

Hopefully she will have to make her normal living situations, rent, insurance, rego, utilities and child support as the children will be residing with you.

She will feel, alone, cold, in a one bed apartment, having to make life decisions without her family. Children won’t visit, as it is too far for them to travel.
Asking herself, ‘was it worth it’?
One day at a time
Buffer

heartbrokeninNC posted 6/17/2020 05:47 AM

Called the management company for the lease on the house and they were able to put it into my name. Lease renews next month and getting the paperwork sent to me directly. Got three copies, one for me, one for the management company and one for the attorney.

Just waiting on the separation paperwork and the letter of retained counsel to WW.

Ginny posted 6/17/2020 08:12 AM

You’re doing great. Any step you can take each day just leads you further out of infidelity. Keep going!

heartbrokeninNC posted 6/17/2020 09:05 AM

You’re doing great. Any step you can take each day just leads you further out of infidelity. Keep going!

Thank you so much Ginny!! Forging my way out of the infidelity surely and taking each day as it presents.

Curious9 posted 6/17/2020 09:18 AM

Good for you. I remember going through it myself with my xW. The last days that is. I felt like there was a hurricane in my mind with all the mixed emotions I was feeling. I missed her but I hated her all in the same thought. I was just destroyed she already had someone to move on to and left me Taking care of our kids. Just stay strong and never go back. Its not worth it.

heartbrokeninNC posted 6/17/2020 13:21 PM

Curious9, I've gotten to the point where I can't even stand to be around WW. What little bit of care I had for her took a flying leap out of a tall building and face planted on the sidewalk below. It's become nothing but indifference and the only thing I will talk to her about is the kids, if that.

WW cannot and will not understand the trauma that she has put the family through...repeatedly. She is a very, very selfish person that only cares about herself.

fareast posted 6/17/2020 13:27 PM

Indifference and no contact, or as little as possible under the circumstances, and using the gray rock method, becoming uninteresting, unresponsive, and not feeding her need to engage.

[This message edited by fareast at 9:38 PM, June 26th (Friday)]

heartbrokeninNC posted 6/17/2020 13:37 PM

Fareast, I'm finding it easier to detach from WW this time. If you asked me in January if I would be able to do this and it would have been a resounding no. DDay was 3-4 weeks prior and was still in shock with raw emotions. Looking back on that makes me cringe to see that I was doing the "pick me dance" instead of committing to the 180 and NC.

Been listening to Queen's "The Show Must Go On" lately. The lyrics put everything into perspective on how I'm feeling.

Curious9 posted 6/17/2020 13:52 PM

Anger is a good stage to be at. It will help you keep your distance and No Contact. Once this is all over with just take time for yourself to heal. Don't do anything your not comfortable with.

Keep one thing in mind. You never cheated on her. You were faithful. There will be a great woman out there that will value that more than you know.

It does get better.

heartbrokeninNC posted 6/17/2020 13:57 PM

Keep one thing in mind. You never cheated on her. You were faithful.

This I do keep in mind. It pretty much stays at the forefront and reminds me that I will never be the one at fault no matter how much WW tries to rewrite history.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 2:01 PM, June 17th (Wednesday)]

KingofNothing posted 6/17/2020 15:00 PM

Called the management company for the lease on the house and they were able to put it into my name. Lease renews next month and getting the paperwork sent to me directly. Got three copies, one for me, one for the management company and one for the attorney.

Man, that's fantastic. Back in Jan/Feb you wanted her to go but she wouldn't leave. NOW she has no say in the matter. That's so great they would cooperate with you like this.

Don't be angry, don't be antagonistic, just quietly put her shit in boxes and start moving it out to the garage to make the move easier. :-)


heartbrokeninNC posted 6/17/2020 15:54 PM

Just done with it all and want her to get the f**k out. When she is here it's nothing but conflict with the kids and me. Tired of the entitlement and selfishness.

KingofNothing posted 6/18/2020 09:54 AM

When is she leaving?

heartbrokeninNC posted 6/18/2020 09:58 AM

Still trying to get her out. Should be getting lease paperwork either today or tomorrow and sent back in post-haste.

Have not heard back from the attorney on the retainer of counsel letter and the separation motion.

I can't move forward until she GTFOs. In NC the separation can't move until one of us vacates. I'm not moving!!! Very frustrating!!!

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 11:16 AM, June 18th (Thursday)]

thatbpguy posted 6/18/2020 11:51 AM

As much as all this hurts, taking care of yourself and having the support of your kids is so critical to your recovery from this betrayal.

Just keep plugging away one day at a time. Love your kids and keep playing you guitar.

heartbrokeninNC posted 6/18/2020 12:47 PM

Taking it day to day anymore but very anxious for her to get out. Just need to get the lease paperwork sometime in the next couple of days to expedite the process.

I deserve much better than this.

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