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Update to Christmas Eve D-Day

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heartbrokeninNC posted 7/20/2020 06:12 AM

This weekend was pretty good since I celebrated my b-day on Friday with the two kids that are at home still. Went out and got a nice steak and relaxed. It felt good to go somewhere that I actually wanted for a chance. WW is still going through her stuff and gathering it up. All-in-all it was a pretty chill weekend with minimal confrontation.

It is moot because in an emergency (which is a gray line) we have “assumed consent” if a parent is not available (again, that is a gray line). Check with your lawyer, I’m just a paramedic, but do not let that be a sticking point.

I'm not going to allow it to become a sticking point in the final settlement. She hasn't brought it up since the paperwork was served but I don't think it has become moot.

Once she is out of the house, I wouldn’t consider helping with further moving expenses. If she knows you’re willing to pay to make her go away, she will milk you dry.

Really not helping her with any moving expense because it will set a precedent for the future and to come running back to me if things go south with POSOM.

The1stWife posted 7/20/2020 11:00 AM

Wouldn’t the STBXW have access to the minor child’s medical records anyway as the parent? At least until 18 she has it already correct?

Not sure why that has to be included in the separation agreement.

What am I missing here?

Buffer posted 7/21/2020 03:01 AM

You have done well so far brother. Almost there.
Will she be paying child support and alimony?
Buffer

Buffer posted 7/21/2020 03:01 AM

Double post sorry 😐
Buffer

[This message edited by Buffer at 2:04 PM, July 21st (Tuesday)]

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/21/2020 06:29 AM

Wouldn’t the STBXW have access to the minor child’s medical records anyway as the parent? At least until 18 she has it already correct?

Not sure why that has to be included in the separation agreement.

It's a part of the custody arrangement that is in the separation agreement. I'm going for full custody of DD16 since she will be with me and the WW in GA.

Will she be paying child support and alimony?

She will be paying child support as for alimony not so much since both of our incomes are pretty much equal.

thatbpguy posted 7/21/2020 11:23 AM

heartbrokeninNC, I'm proud of the way you have handled this despite the pain of being so brutally betrayed.

Just a suggestion, but when your STBXWW is around, play some select Eagles music (Lyin' Eyes, Already Gone, Peaceful Easy Feeling). Play them nice and loud.

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/21/2020 16:22 PM

Just a suggestion, but when your STBXWW is around, play some select Eagles music (Lyin' Eyes, Already Gone, Peaceful Easy Feeling). Play them nice and loud.

Ironically, that is her favorite band !!!

It's still hard and the triggers are there. Trying to get her out of the house is proving to be the biggest roadblock at the moment. It's almost impossible to start healing with her still being here. Everyday I look at her all I can see is infidelity. Nothing more, nothing less.

redwing6 posted 7/21/2020 19:21 PM

HBNC,

It's still hard and the triggers are there.
Take a hard deep breath...ease off on the triggers...and flip them over to anthems! Those songs are what you need to project how free you now are!

KingofNothing posted 7/21/2020 20:59 PM

She will be paying child support as for alimony not so much since both of our incomes are pretty much equal.

Yeahhhh. Sure she will.

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/21/2020 21:09 PM

Yeahhhh. Sure she will.

WW is trying to push the separation out because she thinks she won't have to pay CS. As for her financial impropriety, that's another story .

OrdinaryDude posted 7/22/2020 02:00 AM

You need to speak with your lawyer about forcing her out ASAP, or possibly seek an exception to the year separation, some states allow this in cases of infidelity, ask.

Dismayed2012 posted 7/22/2020 08:53 AM

Like OrdinaryDude said, speak to your lawyer. I'm sure that they've run into this situation before. Getting your cheating wife out of your house and life is one of the most important things that you can accomplish. I'm impressed with your resolve. I know there's still some pain but it will subside once your cheating wife is gone. I wish the best for you.

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/22/2020 09:22 AM

The attorney and I have gone over this ad nauseum. Do not want to do a divorce from bed and board but if push comes to shove I'll need to do it even if the ROI is pennies. WW has this thing where she won't move if she doesn't have a job, effectively putting the separation in limbo !! I've let it be known that she needs to move out and if it's in the local area, that is fine. That way she doesn't need a "job" to move out. It's a f@#king excuse!!!!!

I'm so f@#king tired of this bs, why the hell is she allowed to move on with her life but I can't???!!!??? F@#king selfish!!! It's like I'm being tormented and reminded constantly.

KingofNothing posted 7/22/2020 10:11 AM

Can you leave and not take her with you?

Shockedmom posted 7/22/2020 11:08 AM

She may be trying to push you into a lucrative settlement. Consider your priorities and move on from there.

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/22/2020 12:39 PM

Hopefully, this is not the case. Have not seen anything from her that she has an attorney retained since I've not received a letter of retainer.

King of Nothing, I wish I could leave but the whole household is pretty much in my name.

goalong posted 7/22/2020 13:23 PM

Is it possible for you to ask for rent purely as a casual business deal. It may hasten her leaving even if she refused to pay

[This message edited by goalong at 1:24 PM, July 22nd (Wednesday)]

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/22/2020 13:29 PM

goalong, I haven't asked her about it but knowing how she is with money she will not pay it. Her middle name should be "default" and I'll never see it.

The only thing that she is paying is the mobile phone bill and even there I'm trying to split my phone off of that and into my own plan.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 1:34 PM, July 22nd (Wednesday)]

KingofNothing posted 7/24/2020 15:20 PM

I wish I could leave but the whole household is pretty much in my name.

That's my point. If you move FROM that rental to another rental and don't invite her along, she'll be evicted by the landlord, not you.

You can just refer to that as being something you are going to do by a certain day and she might want to be out of the house by then. You can pretend you are going to consolidate into a smaller house since you won't needs as much space without her there. Of course she won't have access to the new place, that's ridiculous.

The thing is you can threaten that and you might not have to go through the pain in the ass of moving if it gets her ass moving.

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/24/2020 15:39 PM

This is exactly what I am currently doing. Right now going through each room in the rental and making note of what I've got. WW is also consolidating her stuff also and packing.

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