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Update to Christmas Eve D-Day

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Newlifeisgreat posted 7/28/2020 12:30 PM

Only 25 and counting

Better yet, have the locks changed the day she is moving the last of her stuff out. Send her a clear messsge. Donít let her return and complain that she didnít know you changed the locks to her true home!

HalfTime2017 posted 7/28/2020 17:25 PM

Yes, keep things happy and encourage her relationship with POSOM. You want her gone. Also agreed on changing of the locks, even if you get a set of your own and have to pay for it, you can always put the original ones back in when you move out.

Buffer posted 7/28/2020 18:46 PM

That light at the end of the tunnel is getting bigger every day, it isn't a train but your new life.
One day at a time.
Buffer

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/28/2020 19:28 PM

It's been a rough day dealing with DD16 drama and getting triggered by WW constantly texting POSOM. She can F'ing leave already!!!!!

Confronted WW about the trigger and she is absolutely oblivious to it and can't figure out why I'm upset. It's an absolute mindf#ck! Just keep telling myself 25 more days, 25 more days. The locks will be changed that weekend and she is never coming back, ever.

*edit to remove quote*

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 7:31 PM, July 28th (Tuesday)]

Newlifeisgreat posted 7/28/2020 19:42 PM

There is no need for you to be in the same room as her!

She walks in the room, you leave it.
Maybe she will get the hint and pick up the pace of her departure!!!

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/28/2020 19:54 PM

There is no need for you to be in the same room as her! She walks in the room, you leave it.

That's normally how it is but wanted to spend time with DD16. This was the first time in weeks that I've been able to get DD out of her room for more than a nanosecond.


Buffer posted 7/28/2020 23:43 PM

Hug DD, FBG can stay in the garage during the day.
Buffer

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/29/2020 11:13 AM

DD16 gets hugs often. Just frustrating because I'm seeing WW actions being mirrored in DD16. The kids' whole world is being turned upside down and I sometimes do not blame DD16 for doing what she is doing. WW is a shitty role model. Hopefully, once WW is gone this shitstorm will subside and we can find peace. Just a hurricane of lies anymore.

*edited for DD age*

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 11:15 AM, July 29th (Wednesday)]

Westway posted 7/29/2020 15:31 PM

Waywards like your WW are just assholes. Even as shitty a person as my STBXW is, she has never pulled that kind of crap on me.

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/30/2020 09:04 AM

Westway, that is the absolute truth and it is cruel because I'm reminded about the infidelity daily. The absolute kick in the groin is the fact that she thinks she's in love and therefore justified in all of her actions. Her mask is truly off and can see her for what she is........a narcissistic broken little girl with daddy issues.

thatbpguy posted 7/30/2020 11:26 AM

The absolute kick in the groin is the fact that she thinks she's in love and therefore justified in all of her actions.

This is exactly what my ex told me. It justified her betrayals.

Westway posted 7/30/2020 12:36 PM

Westway, that is the absolute truth and it is cruel because I'm reminded about the infidelity daily. The absolute kick in the groin is the fact that she thinks she's in love and therefore justified in all of her actions. Her mask is truly off and can see her for what she is........a narcissistic broken little girl with daddy issues.

You don't have to trash talk your WW in front of the kids, but as they get older they will ask questions. Don't lie to them. She doesn't deserve any protection from you.

thatbpguy posted 7/30/2020 12:40 PM

You don't have to trash talk your WW in front of the kids, but as they get older they will ask questions. Don't lie to them. She doesn't deserve any protection from you.

Agree 1,000,000%.

Just stay honest all the way thru. The facts are the facts.

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/30/2020 13:17 PM

Thank you Westway and BP for the insight. Fortunately the kids are older and they are seeing what is going on. I do not want to have them eat the shit sandwich but WW will not serve it up to them. She's reserved that for me and they do see that perspective. As it stands right now, all three do not want to have a relationship with her from what I can see. It's especially strained between DD16 and WW. STBXW asks for a hug from DD16 and she walks right on by without acknowledging her.

All I can do is work on myself and address my shortcomings to learn from this whole debacle.

thatbpguy posted 7/30/2020 14:20 PM

All I can do is work on myself and address my shortcomings to learn from this whole debacle.

And love your children- as you already do.

thatbpguy posted 7/30/2020 14:25 PM

I could be wrong, but people like your wife tend to be 'short lived' when they leave. Mine was. At some point in time (probably in the 3-6 month mark), they call or return (to see kids, presumably) but the underlying issue is that they want to return. As EB states, "the grass is greener over the septic tank". Of course, changing the locks is a start, but leaning on the kids will also play a part. You may want to be mentally prepared for this as well.

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/30/2020 22:16 PM

BP, this is almost prophetic!! WW is starting to have qualms because she is asking DS18 what he thinks about all of this. He let me know she was doing this and I think it was wrong of WW to put that question out there when this is between me and her. WTF?

thatbpguy posted 7/30/2020 22:44 PM

WW is starting to have qualms because she is asking DS18 what he thinks about all of this. He let me know she was doing this and I think it was wrong of WW to put that question out there when this is between me and her. WTF?

She's hedging her bets and starting to create a return strategy and use the kids as allies. She's starting to get it that she has destroyed the family and that her new found life may be just a pipe dream.

When, or, if this plays out I would tell the kids that trust and faith are gone forever. She and the POSOM used you for humiliation and sport as well while they plotted her leaving you. She destroyed you, the kids, the family unit and simply didn't care. To me, there's just no coming back.

[This message edited by thatbpguy at 10:46 PM, July 30th (Thursday)]

heartbrokeninNC posted 7/31/2020 07:04 AM

When, or, if this plays out I would tell the kids that trust and faith are gone forever.

Hopefully, this does not happen and she makes her life with the POSOM which I don't think will last. After the D is final I couldn't give a crap about what she does or who she screws. The kids know what she did. She passed the point of no return when she decided to continue with this A after DDay. WW knows now that I am not backing down and pursuing the separation and D.

21 days until she is out of this house and then all aboard the NC train.

Westway posted 7/31/2020 09:31 AM

BP, this is almost prophetic!! WW is starting to have qualms because she is asking DS18 what he thinks about all of this. He let me know she was doing this and I think it was wrong of WW to put that question out there when this is between me and her. WTF?

What an insidious, manipulative woman. Honestly... Shakespeare could not have come up with nastier piece of work than your WW.

My STBXWW is a first class hose queen who is hell bent on destroying her health, but she hasn't tried to insinuate her way back into my life, nor has she done or said anything to damage my relationship with my daughters. I'm sorry your STBXWW doesn't have that decency in her. I hope you get through this nightmare and out to the other side.

[This message edited by Westway at 9:32 AM, July 31st (Friday)]

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